Coping with Grief at University or College

Coping with grief at university or college can be daunting. If you have gone home for a while, catching up, managing your workload and processing your feelings can even seem overwhelming.

Our guide to coping with grief at university or college can help you find the resources and identify some practices that you might need after returning to university or college after a bereavement.

What can you do to cope with grief at university?

Everyone's grief is unique, and different things work for different people. Having said that, there are some practical ways to help you cope with grief that can make a general difference to your experience of studying at university, and being away from home, after a bereavement.

Keep in touch with your family

If one of your parents or siblings has died, your family will be especially concerned to feel connected to you while you are away from home. Setting up a regular phone call, even if you don’t feel up to it, can help you know that you are cared for if you ever feel lonely or isolated at university.

Set regular goals outside of study

Simple things, such as trying to eat healthily and doing some exercise, even just a walk on campus grounds, and relaxing with your friends can help you maintain your well-being. Trying a new sport or activity is a positive thing to do. You should not expect these things to reduce your grief, but setting up routines, and letting other people help you with them, can stop things from getting out of control.

You do not have to tell anyone how you are feeling, or even that one of your loved ones has died, but letting even one or two friends know your situation can help them support you.

Don’t be afraid to say ‘no.’

Socialising can help you maintain your well-being, and there is nothing wrong with having fun after a bereavement, but don’t feel compelled to go out or do things if you would prefer not to. A quiet coffee with a few friends who know what has happened might be better for you than excessive parties and alcohol.

If you feel uncertain about an event that you do want to attend, remember that you can always leave early if you feel unhappy, so it might be a good idea to go along and see how it goes.

It is always alright to cancel plans, although you should always tell someone if you decide to leave a party or club early, so that your friends know what has happened to you.

If you feel that you are doing things, such as excessive drinking, that you might not have done before your loved one died, you might want to consider if this is the best thing for your well-being at this time.

Look outside the university

If your university does not offer support or activities that appeal to you, remember that there might be other things available in the local community. Apart from grief therapy, there will usually be lots of activities and courses that you can explore during term-time.

Some organisations offer alternative grief therapies, such as art therapy.