Joan Gilham (15 Dec 1931 - 20 Feb 2022)

In loving memory of Joan Gilham who sadly passed away on 20th February 2022, and leaves her husband of 68 years Peter and three sons David, Martin and Richard.

Joan Kathleen Constant was born in Crayford SE London on the 15th December 1931 and she was the youngest of the 12 children born to John and Matilda. Joan grew up in a busy household and during the war various bombed out relatives moved back home. Due to the size of the family, the generational lines were blurred, she was an aunt at 2 weeks old, and Joan grew up with lots of nieces and nephew as playmates as they were nearer to her in age than some of her siblings.

Her father John passed away when Joan was young, so her Mum went back out to work, meaning her older sister Tilly was heavily involved in her upbringing.

One wintry evening in the early 50's she was at a dance in Crayford, Town Hall and dancing with her niece Beryl, when she caught Peter’s eye…it was the start of their courtship which lasted until 1953 when Peter had to start his national service in the RAF.

Peter had a bit of a shock when Joan casually dropped into a telephone conversation that she had booked the church! …Then added … all is arranged and that their banns were being read the next day …

Peter and Joan got married on 7th November 1953, at St. Paulinus Church, Crayford. Joan was given away by one of her older brothers…Ern. It was the start of a happy marriage which would last over 68 years and result in 3 children.

Their honeymoon was riding a tandem around Jersey whilst staying at a B&B in St Brelade’s Bay but all too soon Peter’s national service began and eventually he end up at RAF Upwood, Northamptonshire, where every weekend he would ride his motor bike home to see Joan… who at the time was living in Bexleyheath with Peter’s parents, Ivy and Fredrick.

After Peter finished his national service and with his job moving to Christchurch, in 1956 they took the decision to purchase the end plot of land in Somerford Avenue from Mr Grey. It was all done by word of mouth and payments were made “every so often” in cash only.

With Peter selling his motorbike to buy the bricks … Joan and Peter set about building their home together. First living in a caravan at Wick Fields… it’s near the Captains Club… before another caravan on the plot of land while building the garage and then living in that… It was Luxury… It had a sink and running water… then between them they turned their building expertise to the bungalow that in 1957 turned into no 20. It was a property that Joan was going to live in for the next 65 years. Once the bungalow was finished, Joan’s long list of jobs for Peter started … and continued for the next 60 + years.

Joan and Pete had three boys, David, Martin and Richard. This led to Joan’s favourite job, that of mum. She got involved in their activities and once they were older, would often help out at the various scout camps and adventures. Over the years the boys grew up and married Caroline, Karen and Jo… So then her next favourite role came into her life, that of Nannie to Emma, Zoe, Matthew, Luke, Heather, Jessie and Freddie.

Joan was all about family. Pete and Joan were married for 68 years and had 2 telegrams from the Queen.
In later life as her memory started to fade, her boys became Da-Mar-Rich, … and quite often Peter.

Peter looked after Joan and gave her the sense of feeling safe even if the rest of the world was starting to be confusing for her… But… Joan still managed to come up with jobs for Peter to do... She didn’t like to think of him being bored.