Patricia Ann Wheeler (10 Mar 1933 - 18 Jan 2021)

In loving memory of Patricia Ann Wheeler (nee Lafreniere) who sadly passed away on the 18th of January 2021, aged 87 years.

Pat was born in Somerset a small “one-horse” town in Manitoba, in the heart of the Canadian prairies.

Pat's parents were not well suited and when they inevitably separated, Pat and younger sister Doreen were sent to live in a convent boarding school.

Pat studied hard and having graduated high school, she went on to train as a primary school teacher. Pat had teaching posts in both Canada and a stint teaching the children of soldiers in the Canadian Army in post-war West Germany.

It was while teaching in British Columbia that she met Englishman Donald (Don) Wheeler. Having got the travel bug during WW2, after several years working in Venezuela, he traded the heat of South America for bitterly cold Canadian winters! The couple hit it off and romance slowly blossomed. Pat and Don decided to settle in England to be close to Don’s mother who had recently moved to Meopham. They married in the historic St John the Baptist Church in Meopham in 1964, and their son Richard was born the following year. The couple settled in Gravesend, originally in Dennis Road and then in 1968, the family moved to Ridgeway Avenue where Pat was to live for the next 50-odd years.

Pat found a teaching post at Kings Farm Infants School. Like most teachers, she began work before the start of class in the morning and then long after the bell at the end of the day. Often also marking books, or planning lessons in the evenings and at weekends. Former pupils commented that Pat was a strict disciplinarian in the classroom, but she worked hard to make lessons interesting and encouraged her pupils to do their best.

In time, Pat was promoted to the position of Deputy Head at Kings Farm, a role that gave her a greater say in the running of the school but at the same time allowed her to continue her passion for teaching. Pat was temporarily promoted to acting Head Teacher when the then Headteacher was absent for several months due to illness. When it became clear the Head would be unable to return, Pat was offered the role full-time but she declined, preferring to remain first and foremost a teacher.

Outside of work Pat & Don were a devoted couple, bringing Richard up in a nurturing and loving environment. They enjoyed hosting family and friends. Pat would disappear into the kitchen, and hours later a delicious spread of savouries and desserts would emerge, indeed Pat’s catering became a thing of legend among the family!

Pat earned a well-earned retirement in 1993. While she had enjoyed her teaching career, Pat, embraced retirement revelling in the freedom and having more time to spend with friends and family and to pursue hobbies and interests. Don had also recently retired and would spend time together working together on their spectacular garden, taking holidays and socialising.

Pat was a very proud Mum when Richard married Vanessa in 2005, and she was thrilled at the arrival of granddaughter Becky; as Vanessa commented Becky was the “apple of her granny’s eye”.

Don’s health began to deteriorate in 2007 and he passed away in 2008. Pat had lost the love of her life and soul mate, describing his funeral as the worst day of her life. But with her usual determination to make the most of life, she forged a life on her own.

Pat continued to lead a full active life, spending time with friends, joining clubs to expand her circle of friends and making trips to visit Richard and Vanessa.

She made her last visit to Canada in 2009 to visit friends, cousins and sister Doreen. Doreen commenting that her sister's accent was now so English she found it hard to understand her!

2020 was a difficult year for many, Covid lockdown prevented Richard, and his family from visiting Pat and to make matters worse she had a fall at home breaking her ankle. After a 2-week stay in Darent Valley hospital, Pat was placed in a nursing home for respite care. However, her health declined while in the home and she passed away in January.

Richard's thoughts "I admire Mum's positive attitude, making the most of the things she could do rather than complain about the things she couldn't. As reflected in the photo, Mum had a very keen sense of humour, she loved to laugh, sometimes laughing so much she couldn’t stop! While my upbringing was strict, Mum was warm and nurturing too, always generous with praise and keen to celebrate success no matter how small. No matter how hard she worked at school she always found time for the family, somehow putting food on the table and running the home while still holding down a full-time job. I’m proud that she has made a success of her life despite a difficult childhood. It's a blessing that she slipped away untouched by Covid, but I'm sad that this awful virus stopped me from seeing her in the last few months of her life when she needed me the most.”

Unfortunately, due to Covid lockdown restrictions, attendance at the funeral is by invitation only.

Floral tributes may be sent to Lewis Solomon Funeral Service by 12noon on Friday 5th March 2021.

Alternatively, donations for "Dementia Research UK" may be sent in memory of Patricia by cheque made payable to the charity c/o Lewis Solomon Funeral Service.