Jeanette Florence Strode (12 Dec 1934 - 6 Feb 2021)

In loving memory of Jeanette Florence Strode who sadly passed away on 6th February 2021

Mother was born in 1934 and grew up in London with her younger brother Peter.

They lived with their Mum and Dad, Rhoda and Arthur Skinner at 42 Vicarage Grove, Camberwell, London.
Mother went to Brunswick Park Primary School. Mother and Her brother Peter had a happy childhood, but things
were grim as they had gas lighting and no electricity. Her mum worked in a laundry and her Dad was a black cab driver. When he won a Beardmor cab in 1955 things got better and they got electricity fitted and had a television.
Mother and brother Peter had many disagreements over games of monopoly. Mother went to Honor Oak Girls
Grammer School, Peckham Clubland Youth Club in Camberwell and George Holden Ballroom Dance School and
passed her gold medals in ballroom dancing. This is where she met her late husband Leslie Strode. They married in 1956 and lived in Camden Town where they had a son Peter and then settled in Harrow .

They had a long successful marriage lasting well over 50 years. It was an interesting marriage as mum fulfilled the stereotype woman role for the first half of their marriage looking after me, doing household chores etc. while father went out to work. However in the second half of their marriage they suddenly swopped roles.
Mum became increasingly involved with the running of Harrow Museum and Heritage Centre as it later came to be known. Eventually sitting on the Board of Trustees of Harrow Arts Council who ran the
Museum and later on became its' Vice Chairman, This was a busy time demanding role and although voluntary provided fringe benefits that the whole family were able to enjoy together. Mother was always a strong personality who knew her own mind and was prepared to take action as necessary without getting permission first!

I remember mother relating one story regarding the then Chairman of Harrow Arts Council John Teather who was just as strong and determined. There was a meeting of her committee when John and another were unable to attend, but mother decided much to their surprise to hold the meeting without them. After this, non attendance was less common! HAC had a turbulent relationship with the London Borough of Harrow which caused many a tension and eventually led to the demise of HAC. As a consequence mother had a brief foray into local politics and after a while was encouraged to stand in the local Council elections in a seat where she had little chance of victory. However her track record at HAC and her standing in the community together with her active campaign only narrowly lost winning the safe Lib Dem seat .

Following Les's deteriorating health, the closure of HAC and my impending job relocation to Essex , Mum & Dad decided to move to Westcliff while they were still active enough to make the move. They thoroughly enjoyed their time in Westcliff and had no regrets about the move. Of course mother soon tookover again and became the Chair of the residents committee at the retirement block of flats for several years. The social life and ambiance in the block grew and flourished under her skillful chairmanship. In the latter days she realised that she needed to slow down and stepped down from this role although many would have liked her to have continued. Mother also became the helpful resident. In this role she assisted the office manager in such tasks as the weekly fire practice and was someone people could come to for guidance and advice on matters related to the place. It was noticeable that in her last days, many folk at Montague Court would ask after her having experienced her kindness and support. She was always fair to all and tried to avoid taking sides.

It was during this time that mum discovered her legendary snooker skills playing regularly up to three nights a week. She also enjoyed regular visits to Westcliff Theatre for various shows such as That'll be the day and went out with friends to Osborne's fish & chip shop - Other fish and chip shops are available!
Although my father was in a poor state of health for many many years before his death, Mum faithfully stood by him and cared for him carrying all the responsibilities of life. This was very hard for her as it was often like a ticking time bomb that might go off at any moment.

Eventually after Dad broke his hip, he ended up in a Nursing home where mother visited him faithfully on a very
regular basis even though she found this very disstressing and often conversation with him was limited or he was asleep.

I will miss her greatly as she will leave a big hole in my life without my regular weekend visits to see her.I am very thankful that mum was always there for me through the good and bad times as a patient, listening and supportive ear in reaching any decisions. I will always hold her fondly in my heart and with gratitude to God for all she meant to me.

In summary, Mother generally got what she wanted on her terms. She knew her own mind and was always well organised and was a valued part of every community she was involved with. She remained in control right to the end - even dying on her own terms. She was determind to be discharged from hospital and died within a week of coming out. In hospital she made it clear to the nurses which pills she did or did not want.

Above all she was a woman capable of sacrificial love shown both to my father and me. Who can calculate the emotional and mental cost of all those years spent caring for my Dad as he slowly deteriorated over 25 years. Mother was also determined to spare me the pain that she had experienced when caring for my Dad ultimately at the cost of her own life. Her words "I'm doing this for you". Mother had prepared the ground for her going very well so that all was in place for me including the funeral order of service. Our final conversation was in mid December where we said all that needed to be said and held hands expressing our deep love for each other. After that we were never able to speak properly again until her death almost two months later .

Mother always had a faith although some what private. In her latter years this became more meaningful, significant and precious to her to the point that in our second to last ever proper conversation together she declared to me that God will always love her.

So I commit her into God's eternal love in Jesus.