Rita Trueman (23 Apr 1932 - 27 Jan 2021)

Mum Rita Fieldston Trueman was born at 43 Bennett Street Long Eaton in 1932. She was known to everybody as Rita and really really disliked being called Reet. She led a long and largely happy life and that is something we are here today to celebrate.

She was educated in someone’s front room on Dockholm Road in Long Eaton during the second world war and rarely if ever saw the inside of a proper classroom.

Mum’s education finished at the tender age of 13 shortly after the end of the second world war where she spent around 3 weeks working for Boots in Nottingham. At this time her mother known to everybody as Ada was taken seriously ill and Mum had to give up this fledgling career to care for her and run the family convenience shop recently purchased as a second income for the family. Her brother was serving in the Navy and this left the responsibility with Mum. Mum remained the principal carer for Ada for the next 50 years. However I Know for a fact that Mum never resented this for one second and loved caring for her mother. Under this intense pressure Mum was able, not only to run the family business but build up a thriving local hub.

Why have I mentioned the shop? Essentially for two reasons.

Firstly, it shows the skills and qualities Mum possessed, where she learned them and that she loved running the business.

Secondly and more importantly this is where she met aged 18, John Henry Trueman, Jack, our father. They had a relatively short courtship of around 12 years, eventually tying the knot on the 15th of November 1962, soon after Mum turned 30. They moved to 395 Bennett Street the day after they married. When they were trying to secure their mortgage Mum earned more money than Dad. However the building society would not take her earnings into account. This meant that 6 years later they had cleared the mortgage on the day before John was born.

I was born in 1967 and John in 1968 and as a child growing up it was just obvious the love, affection and trust Mum and Dad had for each other. Mum and Dad truly found something that most people spend their life looking for. They made marriage and loving each other seem very easy. They truly worked together as a team and agreed on most things once Mum had convinced Dad.

Mum was born at 43 Bennett Street and lived for nearly 60 years at 395 Bennett Street she spent a little time living off Bennett Street and that was on Wellington Street which is the road running parallel to it. In fact she lived in the house at the end of her garden where her long time neighbours and friends John and Pam Gee have lived since 1963.

This leads me to my favourite story Mum told. Mum’s Dad was a steam train driver and operated out of Toton sidings. this was the main hub for army equipment to be moved in the country. One afternoon early in the Second World War she was playing in the garden when a German plane flew over. Mum said the plane flew over so low that she could see the pilots face. This plane was immediately followed by several RAF planes and the inevitable air raid siren. Mum and the families around went to the Anderson shelter located at the bottom of their garden and waited for the next siren so they could come out. They later heard later that the plane was shot down returning back to mainland Europe.

John and I would both like to say thank you for the most Amazing childhood it truly was a joy to grow up at 395. However both John and I look back with some of our fondest memories at the holidays spent at Chapel Saint Leonards. This is where I can remember most clearly spending the best family time together. The weather wasn’t always sunny and we didn’t have a telly. However when it rained I don’t remember ever being bored we always played games or just wrapped up and went to the beach anyway. Once again Mum cooked most of the time and I remember eating at the Formica table which when turned over formed a double bed. Fray Bentos pies were a real treat followed by raspberry ripple ice cream. We didn’t have a freezer so John or I had to run to Patrick’s store for the ice cream between courses. We were often joined for long weekends by Pat and Reg (Dad’s brother) and when he was born cousin Graham. All I can remember is spending what seems like endless summers on the beach. At night Mum and Dad went to the Happy Days Club whilst John and I were dispatched to the arcades with our daily allowance. John and I will never forget those amazing memories made possible by Mum and Dad’s hard work.

Mum was a total homebird she loved being at home she loved looking after her family and she loved maintaining the house. Mum loved animals especially dogs almost as much as people, the home always had a dog. For Mum and Dad this completed the family.

Mum and Dad both loved cricket and from a very early age got John and I hooked. The one thing they hated about cricket was us tearing up the garden practising leaving huge bare patches on the grass.

In our mid teens John and I started playing for Sandiacre town where John excelled and gave Mum and Dad great pleasure watching us. They went to watch most home and away games for well over 20 years. One of Mum and Dad’s proudest moments was when John Captained Sandiacre to the National club championships, to be played at Lord’s ,where once again John excelled, Sandiacre town won and John got man of the match. I watched from the stands and I can honestly say John played a fantastic innings.

In later years when they could afford to go on holidays abroad. Mum was often heard saying the best bit about going on holiday is coming home. Mum and Dad travelled the world together going on anything from package holidays to Portugal to Caribbean cruises. I would often come home to find Dad scouring teletext to find their next adventure.

I believe Mum and Dad’s favourite holiday was the Kenyan Safari. Mum often told the tale of waking up in the morning with a Lion stretched out under the tree with the morning’s kill. They loved that holiday and it inspired Lavinia and myself to go on Safari for part of our honeymoon.

Memories

Mum and Dad’s favourite drink was a gin and it. Essentially this was one measure gin one measure sweet martini and one measure dry martini. This was a seriously strong drink. Anyone visiting after 6 would be offered a Gin and “It” and I am sure they would remember that fondly or maybe not as they were so strong.

When Mum returned to manage the shop to cover holidays we would carry out our daily maths challenge. Each would have a copy of the daily takings and we would have to add it up and see who got it right in the quickest time. I will never forget those challenges. I think she let me win by the way. Mum was fantastic at maths.

Mum told Anne, one of her oldest and dearest friends, that when John and I were growing up she used to count the shoes at the end of the hall to know how many breakfasts she had to make. I know our friends enjoyed some pretty fine breakfasts. One thing they didn’t enjoy however was the sound of the Hoover banging around at around 7. This was our weekend wake-up call

A couple of the Firsts in Mum and Dad’s life.

They went to Italy on holiday before flying was so popular or affordable.

We were the first people on the street to have a phone line. This created a problem as Dad wasn’t too keen on people coming in and using the phone. However everyone knew that if they asked Mum she would say yes but leave 10p in the jar.

The only person to be able to persuade Mum to do something she wasn’t comfortable with was Dad.

When we were growing up everyone locally thought Mum and Dad had 3 children as our cousin Julian spent most of his time with us in our garden playing. Later in life Mum mentally adopted two boys and thought of them as her sons. Sheldon and Lee and I would like to thank you both for coming today. I know she loved you both like sons. Sheldon regularly emptied the fridge and freezer when he came round to eat.

When Mum came home she still retained her sense of humour. On Thursday morning England V Sri Lanka was on SKY. I went into the room expecting to see cricket except there was a rain delay. What I saw was Joe Root giving batting lessons. I said I am glad to see you are getting batting lessons from Joe Root. Mum quick as whip replied “it’s a bit bloody late for that”. Mum promised Dad that she would not leave 395 and yet again she kept her final promise to him. Getting her last wish on 11th January we were able to get her home for her final days. In hospital she kept saying “when can I go home”.

One of the things that gave Mum strength to carry on in later years were her beloved grand children Tom, Holly, Wilf, Augusta and Sapphire. She completely doted on them and I know they loved seeing her.

Thank You

Thank You to Angels Care Management who looked after Mum so well for nearly 10 years to help her maintain her independence.

Thank You to Brenda and Ron for the great friendship and support they offered in her later years.

But most of all thank you to Mum for always being there to pick us up from school.

Thank you for always putting fresh healthy food on our table.

Thank you for making 395 Bennett Street a real family home.