Agnes McDonald (1 Jan 1936 - 8 Jan 2021)

In loving memory of Agnes McDonald/Miss Mem/Aunty Mem/Mrs Mac who sadly passed away on Friday 8th January 2021 peacefully at the family home in Tooting Bec, London, England.

Agnes McDonald Biography

Born on 01 January 1936 in the district of Carnie, St Ann, Jamaica, Agnes Parke, or Mem as she is fondly known by her family and friends, was the daughter of the late Winklette Parke and Frank Allen Parke. The second eldest child of twelve children, Mem grew with her maternal grandparents Mas Gus and Miss Ellen and attended Clydesdale Primary School and Inverness. ]

While she grew with the Nevers and Parke family, in later life Miss Windy, her mother, informed her that her biological father was Mr. Germaine and while he passed soon after this discovery, Mem formed a loving relationship with her newfound Germaine siblings. Her love for her parents, grandparents siblings and cousins was undeniable and she would often share with us fun stories of her childhood in Jamaica, recalling times of adventure, love, laughter and mischief.

In her late teens Mem moved to Kingston, Jamaica with her sister Daphne Parke, where she worked before setting off to London, England in the late 1950s.

On arriving in England, Mem joined her father Mas Frank and lived-in rented accommodation in the neighbourhood of Balham, South London. It was here that Mem was to meet the rock and love of her life Mr Laurel McDonald, affectionately known as Lammy. Besotted with the beautiful, youthful and elegant Mem, it is said that Lammy was quite persistent in securing her attention and heart and that he did not hesitate to inform her father Mas Frank, that he only had the best intentions.

Mem, knowing quality when she saw it, responded positively to Lammy’s interest and the two set about building a life together. The relationship that was to blossom is one to be greatly admired, not just because of its longevity but because at its foundations was love, laughter, selflessness, patience, understanding, forgiveness and respect.

The couple married in August 1962, having already started their family together with the birth of their first child Errol in 1961. The family continued to grow and in 1963 first daughter Annette was born and in 1965 their second daughter Marjorie followed. However, in December 1965 just before Annette’s 2nd birthday, a tragedy struck the family. Annette was severely burned in an accident and sadly passed away. The pain that this caused is unimaginable and it is a testament to the strength, love and commitment that Mem and Lammy shared that they were able to get through the difficult time. In 1967 Ean was born, followed by final son baby Trevor who sadly died due to health complications. Despite these early losses Mem and Lammy supported one another and stuck together.

1967 is also the year that Mem and Lammy brought the family house in Tooting Bec. This house was to become a home filled with love, laughter, food, music and children. With the support of her husband, Mem worked part-time as a nurse auxiliary at Mary Abbott’s and St Luke’s Hospitals in London. A lover of children in 1978 Mem became a grandmother and it was a role she embraced! By 1984 Mem had retired and took on the role of grandmother full-time homemaker.

During the 1980s and 90s, Mem cared for looked after children and her dedication was acknowledged by Hackney Council who awarded her for a decade of services to the children in social care. It was in this time that Julene Brade entered the McDonald Family. Mem raised, cared for and loved Julene as though she were her own child/grandchild. A true carer at heart, Mem was also a childminder for lots of children – Charles, Jennifer, Stockley, Antonio, Keanu to name a few.

The personable nature of Mem and the open-door policy that existed at No33 meant that the house was rarely empty. The Queen of Hospitality, Mem loved having people in the family home and the house saw many a party! Visitors, whether they be family or friends, were filled with food and were often given a food parcel when there were leaving! Mem’s hands were blessed to cater for countless weddings, christenings, funerals, anniversaries, and birthday parties. She found great enjoyment in nourishing others and took pride in sharing the Jamaican cuisine she cooked so well. Saturday soup, Sorrell, Christmas Cake, Sweet Potato Pudding were just a few of her specialities.

Shopping was a pastime of Mem; she and her good friend the late Daphne Lewin regularly made the journey to the prestigious Harrods department store in Knightsbridge, London. In one day they would often make repeated trips to the store, returning home with bags and bags filled with bedlinen, clothes, tableware, food, crystals and Christmas ornaments. Keen to share her love for shopping, Mem would organise an annual trip to France just before Christmas giving people an opportunity to stock up for the festive period!

As well as shopping, Mem loved Bingo! Tooting, Elephant, and Crinklewood are just a few of the Bingo halls she visited. Accompanied by her husband Lammy and friends, Miss Daughter, Melia, Hugo, Miss Shelly and Uncle Heddley Mem enjoyed her evenings out and would often encourage us to come and ‘try your luck’!

Committed to keeping family ties, Mem made it a point of duty to visit relatives whether they be scattered across London and more widely Birmingham, Slough and Manchester. A woman of the world she enjoyed travelling and made trips to her home Jamaica, New York, Florida, Canada, The Bahamas, Spain and France.

Kind, generous, thoughtful Mem was a dutiful daughter, sister, and aunt, never forgetting her roots and family in Jamaica. Not only would she return to the island regularly to ensure that her parents and family were keeping well, it was customary for her to send barrels packed with food, clothes and school-books to support the family.

As a wife, mother and grandmother Mem surpassed human expectations. The care and consideration she demonstrated was visible for all to see and we are forever grateful for all she did.

In the early 2010s the family noticed that Mem’s memory was starting to decline. Whilst Mem would never acknowledge she was unwell, over the years it became evident that she needed support. In 2018 she was diagnosed with Dementia – Alzheimer’s disease. Whilst the journey of illness was not easy, thankfully Mem was surrounded with love whether it be from family, friends, or neighbours. And we give thanks for this.

The loss of her best friend and beloved husband, Lammy, to cancer last year had a significant impact on the health and wellbeing of Mem. 2020 was her final year of life and it is a blessing that she was able to see out her final months in the family home whilst being cared for by her daughter Madge and granddaughters. On Friday 08 January not long after midnight, Mem closed her eyes and took her final breaths.

Mem is survived by her brother Nash and sisters Nev, Milly, Jerr, Molly and Meg. Her children Errol, Madge and Ean and grandchildren Jermaine, Julene, Justin, Katrina, Sean, Cherelle, Ella, Courtney, Anton, Lauren, Cameron, Mikayla, Leah and Lily. As well as 26 great-grandchildren & 1 great-great grandchild. In addition, she leaves behind godchildren, cousins and many friends.

May her spirit and legacy live on through us all.

The McDonald Family welcomes you to join us in honouring the wonderful life of Agnes - Mem.
The funeral was on Tuesday 9 February 2021

To Watch Funeral Via YouTube search The Celebration of Agnes McDonald

Thank you for all the love and support during this difficult time.