Millicent Daisy Anne Payne (4 Aug 2003 - 3 Oct 2020)

Hey beautiful xx just wanted to say hi xx thinking of u lots xx we’re all good down here xx Charlie had his prom last week….he looked sooo handsome!!! Still a cheeky lil bugger xx but we wouldn’t have him any other way xx he misses u soooooo much x we all do xx Charlie still had ur ur ‘squishy’ and Alfie. We miss u moo

Hey my precious girl, another Christmas has been and gone. Our 4th without you and I think it gets worse, not easier as so many say. I’ve found it particularly hard this year, I’ve lacked motivation to be in the spirit and to get presents. But I pulled it off, somehow. I don’t know how. I feel so sad without you. It doesn’t feel ok to do all the things we have to do without you. And I know you would want me to be ok. But I miss you my lil stuff, with every breath I have. I didn’t want you to leave me, I wasn’t ready to let you go and I struggle without you, there are days I can’t hear your laugh as I try so hard but then it comes back. And it makes me smile. You made me smile always, you were the most wonderful daughter, sister, friend etc and an all round good egg. Even though I have a huge void in my life I use your inspiration to live mine as best I can,

You are loved by so many. Remembered by so many and admired for the brave beautiful young lady you are. We keep your memory alive! Keep walking by my side, being my Guardian Angel because n need that. Sending kisses for your pockets, your very proud Momma. Love and hugs from your sisters and Milo xxxxx

Hey Gorj, oh my how I miss you calling me that. It made my heart smile. You made my heart smile by beautiful girl. It was 3 years of not having you by my side on the 3rd Oct. What a painful day that was. I couldn’t even write on here, the day passed with a blur but of course we had ‘Domino’s Baby’!!! Eleanor just had to have your fav, and me our chicken one we’d share. Life is so empty without you, so quiet, so sad, it’s just not right. You should be here living your best life. Living your dreams, not taken from me by that ##%%#*# cancer. I love you with all my heart, to the moon and back, and back, and back, and back. Always and forever my precious girl. Please look out for me and love me back!!!! I have to believe you watch over me or I couldn’t cope with life. That you are by my side guiding me through this tough life that I have no choice but to live without you!!!

3 years of missing you sweetheart……you are forever in our hearts Moo xx rest easy baby xx

Hey baby girl, how’s you? I’m missing you, moreso just lately as we’ve celebrated your 20th Birthday. But I can’t imagine you as a beautiful 20 year old, life seemed to stop for us when you were diagnosed at 15. It was just turn hospitals, blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, chemo, radiotherapy and so much more. Turn the final Surgery, and still we didn’t survive it. So yes 15 ish is where you stay in my mind. Yet now you’d be giving me trouble getting drunk etc 😂 oh how I wish that could happen. It all seems so unfair. Everyone moves on, or that’s how it seems. Yet I don’t!!!! My life has a void without you and no matter what I can’t fill that baby. Of course I carry on, I go to work, do what is needed of me but my heart is so broken it now misses a beat without you and always will. I love you my precious Angel, with all my heart. Never forget me, keep sending your Momma those feathers and rainbows, they keep me going. If only I could have one more stand up cuddle. Speak soon princess, your momma xxxxx

Hi millicent charlie here I was just sitting g her thinking of you even thought it has been nearly three years I'm Still thinking of you and I want you to know I will never forget you love charlie

Hey baby girl, here I am awake again. Gosh I wish I could sleep but it’s just a nightmare. I have such crazy thoughts going through my head at night and it makes me have panic attacks, with me struggling to sleep. I remember the days you slept with me, that was fab. My little mate, I think we helped each other. What I would give to have you by my side now. Us having a chat and me listening to that laugh. That would settle me I have no doubt. I miss you baby, so much I just can’t say. It’s my birthday very soon and it’s another one without you. That’s pants, although your sisters do you proud and look after me. Sending my love and hugs to you. You are always in my thoughts baby girl. I adore you I do xxxx

Morning baby girl, I had an early morning walk today with Milo and saw a Robin. That made me think of you, as I do believe ‘when robins appear, a loved one is near’. Were you coming on our walk with us. I hope so and I hope the chats I have with you on our walks, you can hear. I love playing our song too, Somewhere Over the Rainbow’. It makes me so sad but it also reminds me of happy times, us at the hospital and you singing it to me while rubbing my hair. It will always be special. Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year too baby. We are with Auntie Teen, Uncle Matt and the boys. They are spoiling us rotten. Such a shame you aren’t here in person, you’d no doubt be on the jaeger bombs too, lol. Loves ya baby girl, to the moon and back, and back and back and back!!!!! Hugs from your momma xxxx

Happy new year beautiful xx shine bright xx sleep easy darling xx Aunty teen misses u soooo much xxx

Hey baby, how fab getting a message from your Auntie Teen and the boys. I too remember the beans saga. You were so cross that Auntie Teen made you eat those beans, and I take part blame as I did say make sure you all ate your food. And she took me to my word, even though you hated baked beans!!! You stayed with Auntie Teen and the boys lots, such happy times.

And now it’s New Years Eve, the start of 2023. I hate that a new year is starting, a year that you will never live in. That’s so massive, and it hurts, yet few people even give it any consideration. I miss you my beautiful girl, with all my heart.

We’ve got you some Christmas presents, I hope you approve of the squish mellows, the girls chose them as the ones you’d love. And we have your ornament for your cabinet, that’s number 3. 3 Christmas’s without you, that’s not right. It’s not right you aren’t here to celebrate with us. Things aren’t the same and never ever will be again. I long for a cuddle, for a kiss and to hold you tight. I do those things in my mind daily but to do them for real, I long for that day.

I love you my baby girl, my middle stuff. You are with me always. I hope you hold me close to you too.

Sending kisses for your pockets

I love you to the moon and back and baby, and back and back and back, always and for ever xxx

Kisses and hugs from your sisters Eleanor and Imogen too, they love and miss you, it hurts that but more without you at Christmas, your favourite time xxxx 💖🌈

Hey beautiful xx i wanted you to know that you have been in our thoughts lately….a lot. Christmas came and went, it was soooo busy. We miss you sooo much moo xx our beautiful precious angel xx Charlie talks about you often….we laugh together about the memories, and cry xx Alfie finds it difficult to talk….he misses u xxx rule the world plays, Aunty teen has to pull the car over, or walk out of my office in work….we’re ever I am….it gets me xx I hope ur showing those angels what ur made of and ruling the roost!!! I’m sure u are xx u are missed sooooo dearly my darling xxx we talk about u often and share our memories!!! I have soooo much guilt about when I made u eat ur baked beans xx I’m sorry xxx another year is about to start without u here, but we feel you in our hearts….we see the robins u send…the rainbows 🌈. Keep twinkling baby girl…..ur the brightest star in the sky xxx love u beautiful xx Aunty teen, uncle Matt, Charlie and Alfie xxx

Hey Gorj, oh my ‘two years’ since your funeral!!! It seems like a lifetime but also like it was yesterday. No one contacted me, except Izzie. She loves you, and so it passed quietly with my thoughts of sadness and pain. It still hurts so much baby, I can’t even describe it. And it all seems so unfair. I watch your friends living their life’s. I see Macey, and speak to Summer, Chloe and Lauren. We share so many stories, funny ones about your cheeky ways. And I get the best videos of them. I’m sure you’d be saying ‘Moooom’ but we love them so much, Eleanor, Imogen and I. And to see you looking well is just lovely. Eleanor didn’t recognise your voice when you were well, we had that poorly voice and you so u well for so long. I hope you are ok up there in heaven my baby, I hope you are surrounded by love and that you see how much we love you. And how much we miss you. Our life’s will never be the same but t we live it with you by our sides as our true Angel. The most magnificent, beautiful, special Angel there is, of course 😉😋 We love you baby girl, our little stuff, with all our hearts. Sending hugs in your pockets, loads of them. Your Momma, Eleanor, Imogen and your Milo, he us such a special boy xxxxxx 💖🌈

Hey baby girl, I can’t believe that it is now just past the 2nd Anniversary of your passing. It feels like a million years ago but then also like it was yesterday. It’s still so raw and so devastating. I miss you my precious Angel, more than anyone knows. Life carries on, yet my life stands still with the pain of loosing you. I have to live, I have no choice but my heart is broken and always will be. The hardest part is knowing I have to live the rest of my days without you, I can’t think of that as it hurts too much, it breaks me even more. I need a cuddle, I need to hear your voice, I need to hold you. You should never have gone before me, that’s not how it was meant to be. I just don’t understand why it happened this way.

Please know I never forget you and never will. I love you with every breath I have, my beautiful special Lil stuff.

Sending kisses for your pockets.

Love always and cuddles, Your Momma xxxx

Hey bab girl, a Saturday again. How I dread Saturdays, it reminds me of the day too much. The day you left us. I need a Rainbow today, I don’t know why today but I do. We are looking at cars for your beautiful Eleanor today, how you would have loved this but not for too long. I’m sure a bribe of a Maccies would have made it all good though. Words can’t express how much I miss you my precious girl. I need a stand up cuddle today, I will make sure I give Eleanor one. I love you with all my heart my little stuff. Holding you extra close today. All my hugs and kisses to you xxxx

I love you my beautiful girl, with all my heart. And I miss you more than I can ever say. If only people knew the pain I feel from loosing you. I hope you are looking down on me as I look up to you every day. My little buddy, my bestest, life isn’t the same without you. All my hugs, your Momma xxxx

I love you, I miss you, my heart is broken without you!!!!!!! But we carry on, Eleanor and Imogen are doing you so proud. Your little Milo is living up to your personality, cheeky, a little naughty and very sassy!!! I’m not the best but I’m continuing to try to get myself in a better place. I know it’s what you would want and so I’m trying my hardest. Please know we love you our precious Angel, with every breath we have. More than all the Haribos in the world (that’s Eleanor), more than all the chocolate in the world (of course that’s Imogen) and me, your Momma more all than all the stars in the sky, always and forever 🌈💖😘