Shirley Axford (26 Feb 1940 - 18 Aug 2020)

In memory of our lovely friend Shirley who left some very special lifelong memories in our hearts!! Night night god bless Shirley xxx

Sharing your sad loss, having suffered the same this year with my dad, I appreciate the pain and deep sense of loss your family will be feeling at the loss of a dear and much loved mum
Xxxx

A Tribute to Shirley, Mum, Nan, Auntie and friend

Shirley was born on the 26/2/1940 in Charlton Village, daughter of Ivy and Fred Harris, youngest sibling of Joan and Ernie.

In 1950, Joan having married and left home, the rest of the family moved to 65 Kenyngton Drive in Sunbury.

Shirley attended Kenyngton Manor Junior and secondary school in Sunbury and whilst at secondary school, during the school holidays Shirley was put in charge of looking after Barry, her sisters son, during his junior school days and she used to take him off to St Georges recreation ground to play. She also had a very close friend called Sylvia and she had a younger brother, Ronnie. The 4 of them formed a summer gang.

Sylvia and Shirley spent afternoons together, going to Shirley’s house first to raid the cake tin of the wonderful fairy cakes, whilst her mum was at work, hoping she would never know! They loved to play hopscotch, go over to the fields behind their houses, climb trees and try to cross the stream at the bottom of the gardens without getting their feet wet with their gang. Although Sylvia emigrated 60 years ago, they kept track of each other’s lives through Jackie and Sylvia’s daughter, Allana, as Jackie became best friends with her, keeping in close contact to this day.

When Shirley left school at 15, she found work at the Bendy Toy factory and then moved on to the toilet roll factory. Much to the family’s amusement they were inundated with reject toilet rolls, which was a perk of her job. The family were never without toilet rolls, and this could explain why in her 80th year during lockdown, Shirley ensured she had a super large supply of toilet rolls at home!

During one teenage summer Shirley and her friend Doreen got jobs at the Sunshine Holiday camp in Hayling Island as waitresses where she must’ve had the time of her life.

In Shirley’s late teens her neighbours, Mary and John were visited by a tall dark stranger one summers day (Mary’s brother). The stranger got talking to Shirley. They sat in chairs either side of the garden fence while Shirley proudly showed off her latest record collection. From then on the relationship grew. The romance blossomed between them. John was in the Navy and was posted overseas but this absence only increased their love for each other, and they soon became engaged.

Whilst John was away Shirley was busy preparing for her wedding. She spent hours of an evening on her singer sewing machine making all the bridesmaid dresses the pageboy outfit and her own wedding dress. They were married 21/5/1961 at St Saviours Church in Sunbury.

Soon after getting married John got stationed in Malta so they moved to Malta for the following two years where they enjoyed their time and made new friends.

Upon learning in 1963 that they were expecting a baby they made plans to return home from Malta and upon returning, they moved into a brand-new flat at Sunbury Cross and John retired from the Navy. Karen was born in December 1964.

After Karen, Shirley and John had 3 further daughters, Jackie and then the twins Michelle and Paulette (much to their surprise as they were not expecting twins!) and then later 4 grandchildren, Luke, Perry, Ben and Bethany.

They eventually moved to 65 Kenyngton Drive, to bring up their family, which was where Shirley was bought up, as her mum and dad needed to move to a smaller house at this time.

Shirley had a big job to do, bringing up 4 daughters, looking after their needs, preparing 3 meals a day for 6 people, keeping the house immaculately, getting the girls to and from school. Organising the household must have been a lot to handle. In addition to this she managed to slot in various jobs between school drop offs and pickups. Although Shirley and John had a lot to juggle, they did manage to have regular date nights, when the girls were young, one example of this was driving to a motorway café for waffle’s!

Roast dinners for Sunday lunch were a must and she would ensure that the family would all sit around the kitchen table and eat together. She was an excellent cook. Once lunch was over, she would then start the afternoon baking of tasty treats ready for the weeks lunch boxes, enticing us to join in and help her. The girls had so many friends wanting to share their lunch boxes. Melting moments was a favorite!

She managed to find work that would fit into her busy life, like becoming a dinner lady and she would also work in the evenings.

Shirley was such a talented seamstress and she would make a lot of her daughters’ clothes, including party dresses and bridesmaids’ dresses. She would take them to the fabric shop to choose which material they would like for the latest creation she was about to make them, and on one occasion, the leftovers were used to also make garden cushions! She even spent one Christmas making Cindy Doll clothes ready for the girls Christmas presents.

She clearly had great organizational skills which came to great use when she decided that she would organize a silver Jubilee Party for the neighborhood! As if she did not have enough to do! It was a great success.

Gradually one by one the Girls left home with the skills they learnt from their parents and once they were all settled this then gave Shirley and John the time and the freedom to spend time with their friends and have some exciting holidays.

They became the very proud owners of a holiday mobile home at Rockley Park in Poole, where they spent many happy times, making new friends, exploring and relaxing. Shirley even decided she would learn to swim (despite having a fear of water) in the outdoor pool and this she did with their friends Sue and Den witnessing this! They loved having the family visit them and Luke, their eldest grandchild fondly remembers the times he spent there as a young child.

They also started going on foreign holidays and the girls would be kept up to date with messages from them telling them about their latest adventure, they travelled to Cyprus, Gran Canaria, Mainland Spain and Malta, where they had not returned to since they left there in 1963.

They decided to move from the family home to Old Basing for a slower paced, semi- rural lifestyle, which they did and they were very happy there. Exploring the villages and pubs and sharing these experiences with their daughters. The Gamekeeper Inn in Mapel Durwell was a favorite spot and where John organised a surprise 70th birthday party for Shirley in 2010.

Sadly John passed away in February 2011. Shirley was lost without her love. She moved to Harvest Court in Shepperton to be close to her family and with their help she started to rebuild her life. She had lovely neighbors who became her friends and were also a great support to her.

Now the family were living close to each other again Shirley spent lots of time with them and bravely she got through this difficult time.

She loved spending time with her daughters, browsing around the shops and stopping for a coffee to watch the world go by, sitting in the sunshine. She enjoyed going to craft days with Jackie at the garden centre, learning new things. She enjoyed going on a full days shopping trip with Paulette, where they would ensure there was plenty of time for coffee and then lunch and a glass of wine. She would never try anything on before buying it, but instead would prefer to have to plan another day out shopping to return the item! She absolutely loved a bargain! Karen and Michelle ensured that they got the family together frequently at their homes for barbeques and other get togethers and Shirley loved this. Despite Shirley not being very technically minded, she did manage to work out for herself how to order from Amazon, she even became a member of Prime! The first order was a pack of 45 toilet rolls. She enjoyed tracking her items on their journey to her. Perhaps her childhood job and perks, cropped up in her memories and spurred her on to fathom out Amazon ordering to ensure she never ran out of essentials.

She enjoyed family parties, she experienced a Boyzone concert in Brighton with Michelle and would love the opportunity to get up and dance.

She loved going on holidays and the girls were able to take her to Butlins at Christmas, where Jackie, Bethany and Shirley thoroughly enjoyed the children’s entertainment. She was also taken to Spain, France, Cornwall, Somerset and the Witterings, a family favorite, which was where she and John would regularly take the 4 girls to when they were growing up. Day trips were another favorite past time and Poole in Dorset was a favorite place where she would love walking along the waters edge and then having a lovely lunch and a glass of wine.

Shirley cared for her John, the tall dark stranger, so lovingly, whilst he was poorly, and she has been so brave and strong since John passed away as she had to learn to live alone and her own health started to deteriorate. She literally said “I have just got to get on with it” and that she did with the help and support of her family and friends.

And then this year came another challenge, the prospect of a long-term lockdown and distancing from her family and friends. With the support of Princess Alice Hospice, the carers, the district nurses, her neighbours and her family she got through it. She kept us all on our feet making sure we ordered her online shopping on time following her giving us her shopping list over the phone and did not miss anything off her list. She was very disappointed one day when she received minced beef from Tesco instead of a 4 pack of polo mints! Karen’s misinterpretation of the shopping list was to blame!

However, she also had the help of her neighbour, Dave, who did her daily fresh shopping for her to get her the items that she needed the favorite’s being flour and croissant’s. She reignited her love of baking, making scones and cakes. The weather was kind during this period of time which meant that she could sit outside her front door and as the neighbours would be doing the same around the green they were all able to speak to her and make sure she was okay and she really enjoyed this company.

Sadly, Shirley lost her fight with cancer on the 18th of August.

The family love and miss her so much, she was such a huge part of their lives, but they will never forget as they have a lifetime of wonderful memories to reflect on.

Thank you Mum, Nan, Auntie, Dear Friend for everything.

Written by Karen, Jackie, Michelle and Paulette with contributions from family and friends

Wonderful memories of living in Kenyngton Drive just across the road from the Axford Family.
In loving memory of Shirley.

Sharon Archer
x

In loving memory of Shirley

Thank you for looking after my Aunt in her lasts days.

Lovely memories of holidays and bbq,s
Sadly missed , always in our thoughts,

Hi my name is Sylvia Merritt (Alias Sylvia Dawson) and I live in Houston Texas after I immigrated from England over 60 years ago. Shirley and I lived in Sunbury on Thames in the same housing estate about four houses between us, and became very good friends going to the same school Kenyngton Manor.My memories of Shirley were of us being together every afternoon walking home from school. We always went to Shirley’s house first and I couldn’t wait to get there because her mum always made these wonderful fairy cakes and we would help ourselves to one(or maybe two) of them from the big tin they were in while her mum was at work. We thought she would never know, but I’m sure she noticed a few missing but never said anything! I would say we both were Tom boys and loved to go over to the fields behind our houses and climb trees, and try to cross the little stream without getting our feet wet. We played a lot of hopscotch on the pavement outside our house. We finished school in those days at 15yrs old and both started working which kept us busy. We would get together when we could, but our childhood days were over and we were young ladies now. Shirley got married and had 3 beautiful babies. I got married and then immigrated to Canada and then the USA. Sadly we lost touch, but when we came home to visit my parents, our daughter Allana and Jackie became best friends to this day. After Jackie had Bethany she asked Allana to be godmother and she flew over to England for the christening of Bethany Allana Axford. Shirley was a wonderful caring and kind friend. I am so glad that our daughters have carried on the friendship in memory of her.
God Bless!

I have been asked to make this donation on behalf of Ian, his Mum Barbara and sister Andrea, Gareth & Amy. Thank you so much from myself and my sisters Karen, Jackie & Michelle xx

Wonderful memories of Aunty Shirley, always smiling and caring for everyone. Rest in peace Aunty Xx