Barbara Ellen Dexter (9 Sep 1930 - 8 Apr 2020)

In loving memory of Barbara Ellen Dexter who sadly passed away on 8th April 2020

My mum was born on the 9th September 1930 and spent her early childhood in Nottingham with her mum and dad, Sid & Flo and, from the age of 7, with younger brother Roy. She went to the Manning School in Hyson Green where she did her school certs and learned, as she often delighted in telling me, the German phrase "wenn ich in der Schule bin, arbeite ich" - when I'm at school, I work! She was very close to her brother Roy even though there was quite an age difference and there are many early photos of family holidays on the east coast, Mablethorpe, Skegness etc, of the family arm in arm marching smiling along the prom. In later teenage years they would be joined by my father John and then by Roy's fiancée Joy. The four of them did lots together.

1953 was a special year. There was the Coronation, Gordon Richards won the Derby, Hilary conquered Everest and, most importantly, Barbara married John on April 4th. Two years later I arrived. I have only good memories of our life at Lake Street, Stevenholme Crescent and, from 1963, at the family home on Aspley Park Drive. In the early years we had a white pekingese dog Shandy, one of five dogs I remember in the family alongside Whisky & Soda, Brandy and the labrador Judy. I had everything I needed, due in no small part to my mum and dad. Typical only child. When asked why they only ever had me, my mum said "we never thought about it". I maintained with a glint in my eye that I made sure they didn't want another so I could keep their undivided love and attention.

My mum went to teacher training college in Coventry in the early 50s and taught first at Glenbrook in Bilborough. When she went back to work after I was born in 1955 she taught at Shelton Street Infants ( later Huntingdon Infants) where she would become deputy head and then ultimately Headmistress, after a brief spell as Headmistress at Southwark Street Infants. She was a well known figure in the St Anns area of Nottingham and had a great influence on the lives of generations of children and parents alike. Indeed in 1977 she was awarded the Queen's Silver Jubilee Medal for services to education. We were ever proud of her for that although she, modestly, never mentioned it. She would also later become a JP and a school governor at the Manning School.

Work was not the main focus of my mum's life though. Family was paramount. Every Sunday would be a time for family tea with the Walkers and the Dexters and throughout my childhood and teenage years, indeed even in my 20s, my mum and dad would follow me all over the country, watching me play rugby and cricket. We even interrupted a family holiday to Cornwall once so that I could go on tour with the Notts Youth cricket team.

Holidays were always a special time, generally spent at the seaside somewhere in England - Skegness, Mablethorpe, Swanage, Torquay, Isle of Wight, St Ives. In the late 70s we spent Easter holidays touring western Europe in the car, staying in B&Bs and taking things as they came - the kind of carefree holiday I now enjoy doing in a motorhome. One thing all the summer holidays had in common was the game of beach cricket. My mum never moaned about the dominance of sport in our lives. Nor did she ignore it. She took part on the beach and supported me every step of the way and was very proud to watch me playing cricket for England schools and then professionally for Notts CCC. Without the love and support of both her and my dad I'm sure life would have been very different.

After she retired my mum continued to be very active. She was a keen member of FOM at St Margaret's Church in Aspley and chaired the retired head teachers' society for many years. Every Sunday she would drive to Edwinstowe to see her grandsons Paul & John and we always spent Christmas and often holidays together. There was never any thought that we wouldn't do things together. She was still driving to Edwinstowe well into her 80s.

I will remember my mum lovingly. She was a true matriarch, loving caring and above all selfless. She was rarely angry. She didn't have to be. She was in charge. I knew when I was in trouble. She would simply scold me by shouting my name Roy Walker … Dexter! I suppose she'd been used to being the big sister admonishing her brother.

Miss you mum.