Kenneth Thomas Fendt (4 Jun 1931 - 25 Mar 2020)

In loving memory of Kenneth Thomas Fendt who sadly passed away on 25th March 2020. Husband for almost 30 years to Margaret and formerly husband to Rose. Father to Angela and Julie and "Deputy Dad" to Elizabeth and Victoria. Granddad to Alice, Emily, Timothy, Helen, Joseph, Ben, Harry, George and Stanley. Brother to Norman, Jean, Rose and Peter. Friend to many.

Ken had a long and happy life (he would have been 89 in June). He was fortunate enough to have been loved throughout and was blessed with good health until the end. May he rest in peace everlasting.

Margaret and Ken chose the Southend Hospital Charity to receive donations in lieu of gifts for their Silver wedding anniversary in 2015. It seems most appropriate at this challenging time for the NHS that donations are made to support this very worthy cause in memory of Ken.

In compliance with government guidelines concerning gatherings during the COVID-19 pandemic, Ken's funeral was attended by immediate family only. In order that all family and friends can participate in the proceedings, the service was also webcast.
Details as follows:
Date: Monday 20th April 2020
Website: https://www.obitus.com
Webcast viewing: 10.55am-11.30am
Funeral Service: 11.00am
Username: southend6910
Password: 611742
The webcast will subsequently be uploaded on Friday 24th April where it will be available to view until Wednesday 3rd June using the same login information.

Update.

The following Eulogy was read by Angela at the funeral:

Dad was the eldest of a family of five born in the east end of London. His brothers and sisters Norman, Jean, Rose and Peter were very close and remained good friends as well as family throughout their adult lives. They not only kept in touch with each other, but used to meet up regularly and the love, humour and wonderful banter were ever present.
Being the eldest of the five, dad was not evacuated during the war so he remained in Manor Park. He started work at 14 and took City and Guild’s qualifications to be a gas fitter before he was conscripted into the Army at the age of 18 for two years. Dad was always grateful to the army for teaching him so many practical life skills and one of those was driving. They must have taught him well as he held a licence his entire life and drove for 70 years safely and without an accident for which he was responsible. As well as service in Cyprus and Egypt, dad worked in cipher in the Royal Signals. I remember being very impressed when I started work that dad could read telex tape!

After leaving the army he worked for the PDSA (the Peoples Dispensary for Sick Animals) and I remember him telling me about rescuing trapped horses and dogs from Canvey Island when it was flooded in 1953. He then became a delivery driver for International Paints. In 1962 he qualified as an Ambulance man in the London Ambulance Service, a job that he did for 17 years, leaving in 1979. Dad was on several occasions asked to go into an Officer role but he declined as his love for the job was being on the front line so to speak and having contact with and helping patients.
Dad met my mum Rose, whilst out celebrating being demobbed with Norman and his friend Eddie. Apparently the band playing at the dance was very loud so when Mum shouted to Dad “Can you jive?” dad misheard and replied “Yes – anything up to 3 tons”. To set the scene, my mum was a rather curvy lady and was initially devastated at his, what she considered to be very rude reply, but fortunately they were able to laugh about it and went on, sometime later, to become man and wife.

Mum and Dad had a happy marriage and Julie and I had a loving and happy childhood. Mum and dad moved to Hutton like many families from the east end at that time. Dad was a provider and worked shifts and in addition worked at Norman’s shop repairing fridges and freezers in between shifts. He enjoyed working there as he saw all his family as they either worked there too or popped in on an almost daily basis.
My enduring memories of childhood with mum and dad are of lots of laughter, Sunday lunches and badgering dad to take us out somewhere in the car for a drive afterwards when all he wanted to do was have a nap. I am also so grateful to dad as he taught Julie and I so many practical skills, never treating us like girls, reflecting on this now, it was perhaps because he knew how helpful the skills he learned in the army had been to him. He taught us so much - I thought everyone knew the phonetic alphabet and how to bleed brakes, change disc pads, brake shoes, check points and change spark plugs.

Dad had a real love and appreciation of the natural world and I am thankful that he passed that on to us. The music that we will hear today at the end of this service reflects this and reminds of the wonders of this beautiful world and the joys that it holds.

Dad had a big heart and was a very kind and caring man. One example was one Christmas day, when he brought an elderly man who was on his own at the pub back home with him to have Christmas with us. Mum hastily re-laid the table for the extra guest. It was Mr Smith, who happened to be my Maths teacher at the time. I think that many teenagers would have cringed at the prospect of spending the day at home with one of the strictest old school teachers at the school but, even then, I thought what wonderful parents I had.

Dad took up bowls playing at King’s Chase when we were teenagers and continued playing at the Essex County Bowling club when he moved to Southend. He was a daily social visitor to the Club up until his very last few weeks. Dad had won various bowls trophies but he took far more pride and pleasure in the fact that mum managed to win trophies despite having suffered strokes and becoming partially sighted.

Mum did not enjoy good health which is why dad left the Ambulance service and started his own business so he could work from locally and flexibly. Mum sadly died at the age of 54. Dad had always been a very capable man and had been able to cook and care for mum so he was able to look after himself but his world was turned upside down.
In due course dad was lucky enough to have a second chance of love and to someone Julie and I already knew as Auntie Margaret. Margaret was mum’s cousin and had lost her husband Doug, leaving her with two daughters, Victoria and Elizabeth. Dad knew how difficult life was when losing your partner and contacted Margaret to see if there was anything he could do to help. Later, at an engagement party, Margaret was left in an awkward position when the DJ said a dance for the parents and Margaret was alone. Dad saw the situation and immediately stepped up and took her hand for that dance. The rest as they say is history. Dancing the Last Waltz with dad on so many times, that piece of music is very poignant to Margaret.

His marriage to Margaret meant that dad became “Deputy Dad”, to Victoria and Elizabeth and it has brought our families together. As well as his own grandchildren; Alice, Emily, Timothy and Helen, another bonus of being Deputy Dad was that he then gained five grandsons; Joseph, Harry, Ben, George and Stanley. Dad really enjoyed taking George to school and used to call George his co-pilot. They had their own special way of saying goodbye at the school gate with George standing to attention and saluting dad.

Dad absolutely loved his family and he often struggled to get the words out at family gatherings as he would be so overcome with emotion. He was so proud that Victoria and Elizabeth both asked him to give them away at their weddings and it was then that he coined the phrase “Deputy Dad” as he felt he was there to represent their own, very much missed dad, Doug.

Dad was a Freemason and was Master of Valence Lodge and later became the Almoner when his duties were to provide support for members, families, those ill and for widows of masons. This was a role he took seriously and did was the help and support of Margaret for a number of years.

Julie and I were so glad to see dad find happiness with Margaret and this year they would have celebrated their 30th wedding Anniversary. Margaret had a love of travel and she and dad took holidays to Spain, Portugal, France, Germany and Cyprus. This is something he would never have done without Margaret’s encouragement.

Dad was very much an Englishman abroad and did not enjoy a Mediterranean diet at all. Dad would happily settle for chicken and chips every night rather than try something new! His usual daily diet would comprise generally of a full cooked English breakfast, beer, meat with barely any vegetables and copious amounts of red wine. He never ate deserts so I suppose I have to thank mum for my sweet tooth and dad for my love of wine.

Despite his quite unique dietary regime, dad enjoyed good health all the way through until his eighties.
Anyone that knew dad will remember him most certainly as a character. He was kind of heart and loved a hug and gave the best hugs ever – mainly because had exceptionally long arms but it takes so much more than long arms to give the best hugs and he did love a good hug himself.

They would also remember that dad had very definite views and opinions on many matters and to paraphrase Margaret Thatcher, “this man was not for turning”. Many a time as a teenager and being the eldest daughter, I would wind dad up and get him going but Julie was then and is now, far wiser and just used to smile knowingly at me. Despite his, what are now politically incorrect views, he was a man of principal and integrity. He was extremely patriotic and was one who had had an old school values; family and country. I remember him changing his Bank decades ago when he found that his bank had relocated its call centre abroad and he just couldn’t understand why more people didn’t do the same.

I would like to thank Margaret again today for caring for dad so lovingly to the end and in what were the most difficult of circumstances during the COVID-19 lockdown. Julie and I would also like to thank Victoria, Elizabeth and Mavis for the help and support given to Margaret and dad during that time.

One of the very last things that dad said to Margaret was that he was so proud of us all. This was lovely to hear but, more importantly, we already knew as he would often tell us so. Because of the lockdown and our wish to protect family members, many of the people that dad loved and cared about cannot be present today. When this situation has passed, we will all gather to give dad the send off that he truly deserves. Family and friends all together and raising a glass “To Ken”.