Carole Lesley Norman (20 Nov 1957 - 28 Mar 2020)

On Saturday 28th March 2020, Carole passed away peacefully at Mount Edgcumbe Hospice, St Austell, Aged 62.

Beloved wife to Chas, devoted Mum to Sam and Lisa and doting Nan to Chloe, Bobby, Paige, Kai and Charlie. Loving Sister to Pam and Jackie.

A private cremation will take place on the afternoon of Wednesday 8th April at Glynn Valley Crematorium, with immediate family in attendance. A special Gathering and celebration of Carole’s life will be held at a later date when circumstances allow, where all who held Carole so dear can attend to celebrate her life and say farewell.

The family wish to thank everyone for the lovely cards and messages already received and ask that anyone wishing to make any donations to charity, donate to the charity which Carole supported, The British Heart Foundation, or to a charity which gave her and Chas much help and support in her final days, Marie Curie

Celebration of the Life of Carole Lesley Norman (Cas)

Music ‘Sailing’ Rod Stewart

Hello and welcome to everyone. We are here today to say goodbye to Carole and to remember and give thanks for her life.

My name is Mary and I spoke with Carole’s daughter Lisa to hear from her what sort of person Carole was and to listen to her thoughts and memories of her. I know that through her, Charlie, Carole’s husband also shared his memories of Carole. During our service we will hear from Carole’s sisters Jackie and Pam and later on I will share with you some of the thoughts of Carole’s Granddaughters Chloe Bobby and Paige.

What I have to say to you today is based on all those family thoughts and memories.

Death is part of life but Carole was only 62 years old. It is hard for you who are left how do you put into words what it feels like to loose a sister, a wife, mother and grandmother. But today we remember the lovely person that was Carole and the love you all had for her.

But I want to also want to say a few words about this difficult time we find ourselves in. When we lose someone dear to us it is natural to want to come together and comfort one another. But as you can see we are being asked to stay physically apart. But know this, that the love we feel for the person we have lost and for one another is not diminished in any way by physical distance. Imagine, if you will, that this room is filled with the light of the love we feel for Carole and for one another and we will carry that light with us as we move through this service of celebration for Carole’s life and on out into the world again without her.

Carole was born in 1957and lived with her mum and dad and two sisters Jackie and Pam in Norfolk. In 1970 the family moved to Launceston and there they stayed for 30 years. From what her sister Jackie has said Carole loved to read from early on and James Herriot was a firm favorite, in fact one of his books was one of the last that she was re reading before she died. Like many a young person Carole liked to be fashionable and loved clothes and jewelry, and going out to the local disco. If there was music on that she loved she was the first up to dance and there was no stopping her, she couldn’t sit still. She was always the life and soul of any gathering. This love of dance and having fun stayed with Carole all through her life. In fact I think that Paige one of Carole’s granddaughters called her Nanny Bonkers when she was growing up.

Jackie.

CAROLE - A TRIBUTE

I remember one day, during the school Summer Holidays, when I was about eleven and Carole was about thirteen, the two of us went walking and exploring, as we often did, in the local countryside. We were walking through a field at one point, when suddenly we saw a man, who we presumed was a farmer, and we were worried that we might get into serious trouble for trespassing on his land.

Carole quickly escaped by managing to clamber up an ivy-covered embankment. I tried to follow, but was either not strong enough (or possibly not brave enough) to manage the climb. Carole, however, reached down and hauled me to safety and I told her, there and then: "You are my Heroine!"

It may have been a somewhat childlike declaration, made in the heat of the moment, but perhaps that was when I first recognized a deeper quality, hidden beneath Carole's gentle and apparently vulnerable exterior - the same quality that would serve her so well later in life.

From the outset, Carole was determined, neither to be beaten, nor defined by her cancer. Rather than submitting meekly to her fate, she decided to attack, brandishing a large and very determined metaphorical sword, for more than two years; and that has to be regarded as a triumph.

Such tenacity demands Character, Determination, and sheer, raw GUTS. I am glad to have been given the opportunity, when I saw Carole at the hospital in February, to tell her that she was the Strongest and Bravest Girl I had ever met.

Among the many so-called inspirational sayings that we frequently see around us, there is one comparing the qualities of women with those of tea-bags, to the effect that you cannot properly ascertain the strength of either, until you place them in hot water.

Well, the verdict is in and, in answer to the question "What sort of tea would our Carole produce?" the answer is clearly:

Triple-Strength Builder's Brew

God bless, Darling, we love you x

Pam

Sister and Best Friend (Unknown author)

The moment I realized
My sister just died,
My hands cradled my face
And I frantically cried.

Why did this happen,
And how could this be?
She had so much to live for,
We all could clearly see.

My heart simply dropped,
And felt a sharp pain.
My tears fell instantly,
Like a severe August rain.

I was truly lucky
To have a sister like her.
Countless others,
Will nod and concur.

I will miss our talks
And her comforting voice.
And those random moments
Where we’d mutually rejoice.

Rest in peace,
Sister and best friend,
My deepest love,
To the sky I shall send.

In the early 70’s Carole met Charles her husband-to-be at the Carlton Suite in Liskeard. Carole had gone there to meet up with Charles’s friend who had stood her up. Charles saw his chance and stepped in and the rest as they say is history. Charles had been keen on her for a while, she was a very beautiful young woman, full of life and energy, and the couple quickly fell for each other. Charles proposed within 10 days and far from regretting it they were married in 1978 at St Thomas Church in Launceston and were together for 42 years. The photo on our service sheet is I believe from their early years together. Carole had a proper studio portrait done as a present for Charles. There you can see this beautiful brunette. Lisa says that she was always well turned out and liked to look her best.

Charles got on really well with his prospective parents in law and for a while lived in one of their downstairs rooms that they converted for him. Carole and Charles got a place of their own in Launceston and daughter Sam was born in 1980 and then Lisa in 1982, and then when Lisa was 3 they moved to Dobwalls.

Carole always worked full time and worked very hard. Charles was often away for work and when he came home at the weekends Carole would make sure he was always sorted out ready to go off again. As a result the girls spent a lot of time with her. Lisa says that she was a real family person. Sam moved away eventually to live in Essex and would make regular trips back to visit. Carole would announce ‘I’m not going too cook too much food’ and then put on a spread. Lisa says that she had loads of cookbooks but loved to make up her own recipes. All the family appreciated her food. Granddaughter Chloe says that her dinners were the best and Paige remembers with love her Christmas dinners followed by homemade trifles and cheesecake. Lisa now uses many of her recipes and ideas with her own family. Lisa remembers that when she and Dan were first married she didn’t really know how to cook and was always ringing Carole up for advice and she would always know what to do.

Carole was always happiest surrounded by her family. She was close to both Dan and Dean and thought a lot of them both. She would often turn to Dan when she needed technical advice. Dean today is looking after the younger children. When Chloe, her first grand daughter, was born Carole went up to Essex to stay with Sam. The family grew and Bobby followed, then Lisa and Dan’s Paige and Kai and finally Sam and Dean’s Charlie. Carole was a besotted Nan and spent as much time as possible with them all. She liked to spoil them rotten and liked to give them lots of cuddles.

Chloe Bobby and Paige have each written something about their Nan, words that are on your service sheet but here are some of the lovely things that they have written in tribute to their Nan.

Chloe

‘Your smile brightened up the room every time you were in it.

‘The day you took Paige and I to Truro you spoilt us so much and I am so grateful for these kind of times’

I am so happy that you were my Nan, to have such a caring thoughtful and amazing person who will always be by my side…I know your presence will always be with me

Bobby

I loved the time you had Paddy and I and we went to Bowithick. We played pooh sticks had a barbeque and I even remember falling in the river.

You are my hero forever my soul mate forever my Nan.

Your wings make you rise so I can always look up to you.

Paige

My Nanny was an amazing person. She was very kind and I loved her very much.

We had a lot of good times and fun together and I will always love her.

Lisa says that when Paige was born Carole would look after her every Friday and take her out on trips. Carole loved a laugh and to fool around and Paige says she will never forget the time she spent with her Nan. Later it became a regular thing for Lisa and Carole to meet on a Friday and it was a good time for catching up.

Lisa remembers that as she and Sam were growing up there would be days out. They would go up onto the moors or off to the beach. They spent a lot of time on Dartmoor. Sometimes they would meet up with other families and there was often a picnic. Carole loved to have a picnic, everyone laying out what they had brought.

Even though it was a challenge bringing up her daughters while Charles worked away so much, Lisa says that she didn’t take life too seriously. Carole was strong willed, but with the children she was firm but fair. They knew what the rules were. She was a ‘glass is half full’ sort of a person making the best of things always. Her comment on life was always ‘what can we do and not what can’t we do’, and she would find solutions to any challenges. Lisa remembers once when her and Sam were squabbling about who had the most food on their plate. Carole took their plates and carefully counted out the peas to prove that they each had the same amount.

Carole and Charles took the children away on holiday later on. They went to Spain and Austria and France that Carole particularly loved. She was interested in history and saw the beaches of Normandy. She had a dream to have a place in France one day. Later on when the children had grown Charles and Carole would go more often.

Carole’s other passion was steam, which she probably inherited from her father. She loved the smell of the engines the sound and the atmosphere of the steam and traction gatherings. Charles and Carole camped for 3 days at Blandford and Lisa and Dan went with them to the fair. Carole loved the Boconnock gathering too and went regularly. A few years back every other weekend was a rally of some sort. They’d go early for breakfast and enjoy the food and the beer tent whilst looking at all the engines.

But sadly two years ago Carole was diagnosed with cancer. She had an operation and chemo as an outpatient. There followed various sorts of chemo for 12 months. However it became clear that there was not a lot left for the Doctors to do.

However being such a strong and determined character Carole exceeded their expectations about how long she would be able to survive.
Lisa says that she never complained even when she developed sepsis last March and still got through that. She didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her.

Lisa believes that towards the end Carole knew that she was dying but she was trying to protect her family as long as possible. Throughout this period she was at home far more than in hospital. Four weeks ago she did go in for a week and then she was back home again with carers to look after her. A week before she died she was still baking and reading. However the last 24 hours before she died she knew that it was time and asked Charles to take her to Edgcombe Hospice.

Sadly Carole died at 7.30 on the morning of 28th March. Lisa says that the Edgcombe was a very kind place and the staff looked after then when they arrived. It was very quiet and peaceful and through the window of the room where Carole died they could hear the birds singing. She says that had she stayed Carole would have liked being there.

Reflection

Now we have a chance to sit quietly for a few moments and to think about our own memories, feelings and thoughts about Carole. In a moment I am going to ask Charles to come up and light the candle in memory of his love for Carole , the love you all had for her and that you have for one another. Let that light hold you and sustain you in the days to come.

Now each of you has a chance to come and place your rose around Carole.
To encircle her with love to send her on her final journey.

Music ‘Carol’ by Neil Sedarka

Committal

We are coming to our final parting with Carole. At this time when words say so little and our hearts are very full we gather to return to the natural cycle of life and death that part of Carole that cannot stay with us, But you know that a part of her lives on in you. All human life ends in death. The death of someone we love and care about is like the death of part of us. No one will ever call out from us quite the same responses, the same feelings, or actions or ideas. Carole’s death is the ending of one part of the story of your family.

As we look back over Carole’s life I hope that by holding her in your hearts thoughts and memories she will always be a part of you. As you continue through your lives I hope that you can let her go with love. Your love for her reminds us that our sharing in one another’s lives brings both happiness and pain.

But what matters at the end of any life is that there has been love. Carole loved you and you loved her back. Today we are grateful for that love and know that that love will never end.

Poem (author unknown)

I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glint on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone
I am with you in each new dawn.

So it is with great sadness and love that we return the body of Carole
To the elements from which she came

Now as our service nears its end I hope that you have had some comfort here today. As we leave hold Carole in your hearts. Remember her at her best and happiest and look after one another as she looked after you.

Music ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ Bette Midler