Ann Maureen Dolphin (2 Nov 1942 - 28 Feb 2020)

In loving memory of Ann Maureen Dolphin who sadly passed away on 28th February 2020

Ann Maureen Dolphin nee Jukes, my wonderful mum, was born on Monday 2nd November 1942; Her parents Douglas and Eunice were overjoyed.

Ann was a beautiful child. Her brother, John came along two years later. The Jukes family of Wythall was complete.

The family home was a strikingly elegant bungalow “Strathmore”. It had beautiful curved walls, spacious rooms flooded with light, and vast gardens. The building was perfect example of the Art Deco style. This was a great source of pride to the whole family; Justifiably, because Grandpa and nanny designed and built it themselves, brick by brick. Most importantly it was a loving, safe home for Eunice, Ann and John. Later this place became magical to me and was the gathering place for whole family.

Many of my fondest memories live in the exquisite grace of “Strathmore”, the sun always seemed to shine. My mum, grandparents and my uncle became an enduring and inspiring influence on me and our extended family. Something I am, and always will be, deeply and profoundly grateful for.

Mum grew into a beautiful young woman, a real life carnival queen. She had an entrancing smile and long red hair. She was clearly a gifted and creative soul.

She adored ballet and had the poise and expression of a great dancer. She gained many awards and widespread admiration for her art. I still have a box of medals awarded for her dancing.

She inherited a love of music from her parents. I grew up listening to Beethvoen, Tchaikovsky, Stravinsky and Holst. With added Buddy Holly, Eddie Cochrane, The Beatles and Cliff; An almost perfect musical upbringing!

This would, later, have decidedly iffy consequences for me!

Mum was intellectually agile and perceptive, yet always quietly modest about her abilities. She achieved top grades in her A levels. It seemed she was destined for an academic or perhaps a civil service career. There was only two problems, mum was not at all keen on teaching and the idea of being a “civil servant” even less appealing.

She once said to me she felt opportunities for women were limited back then. She was right. Such an appalling waste.

She met my father, Tony, her soul mate. They married on 21st July 1962. Shortly afterwards I was born and 2 years later my sister, Lesley.

Mum became the absolute rock the Dolphin family was built on; Solid, immovable and loving.
Life was not that easy in the early days but I can remember mum and dad had made a secure, safe and nurturing home. My sister and I enjoyed a idillic childhood.

There is absolutely no doubt, we were truly blessed with the best mum in the entire history of humanity.

She had a well spoken, soft, lyrical voice; With a gentle authority and an insightful instinct. Always with a little self deprecation and her loving nature shining through.

In troubled times mum would always say “don’t ever worry, things always work out as they should, it will be fine”. When mum spoke these words you utterly and completely knew she was right. Because, you now believed, to the core of your being, it would “work out right”.
It therefore, did.

A wonderful example of her powerful mind and caring nature.

Perhaps, with a little irony, this made her a talented educator. She once taught me the technicalities of the English language, in one night; The night before my O level exam. Needless to say, she succeeded.

The personalities of our family were very different, it is a testament to mum’s well crafted diplomacy that all out “war” was always avoided, no matter how bad the conflict, when mum arrived, peace was restored.

She was the most loving and supportive wife to dad. His business, sport and sometimes fiery outbursts. Mum actually knew the LBW and off-side laws / rules).

There are so many stories of their crazy, spur of the moment ideas. Usually involving food, travel, friends, family, dancing and the odd glass or two; Preferably all of the above.

Dad and mum’s “legendary” pig roasts, especially the “soup” which consisted of tomato, oxtail and several other ingredients, extracted from bottles that once occupied pride of place at the bar.

No one will ever know exactly how this “Ann & Tony” brew was concocted, but I can assure you it tasted like the nectar of the gods.

I remember a driving holiday in France. Mum spoke fluent French, which was very useful!

On approaching a 5 way intersection of major roads, just outside Versailles, dad was uncharacteristically nervous of the insanely speeding cars and an armed policeman stood on a box in the middle of this anarchy.

The gendarme was “sort of” directing traffic. He signalled to dad, his turn to enter the chaos.

Dad leaned over to mum and said “what’s the french words for bollocks to that”! Mum made up something a little more polite and we made across, amidst a blur of rocket powered 2CV’s. Team work defined.

I remember the quiet moments with mum, usually around a roaring log or coal fire with various animals in deep slumber. Mum and dad both adored our fury, feathery friends. Mum’s devotion to the family dogs, cats, rabbits was bordering on obsessive.

They both loved gardening, dad grew the most tasty vegetables, mum loved the flowers and all the little things that fly around. Mum was always happiest outside.

What is less well known is; Early on cold winter mornings she’d make porridge for Lesley and myself but always an extra bowl / bucket, ostensibly for my rabbits.

Rabbits, apparently, love warm porridge. As do - Horses, cats, birds, hedgehogs, mice, foxes - in fact most of the wildlife around Silver St had breakfast with us. We got through a lot of porridge.

Around the fire mum and i would discuss politics, religion, greek mythology, the joy of languages, music, art; it was like having the library of Alexandria in my home.

I once cheekily asked her if she’d ever seen a X rated film? She said ‘yes, the films from the concentration camps’. I was humbled in a very clever, caring way.

Mum and dad moved to Brick Kiln lane, then to Salford Priors, they soon became as loved by their “new” community as they were in Wythall.

They moved again to Harvington, a beautiful village in Worcestershire.

Mum was absolutely thrilled that she now had her grandsons, she had photographs all over the house. She was so very proud of John’s, Lesley’s and my families.

Mum was devastated when dad died, her brother passed away and few years later, the untimely death of my sister Mum carried on with a smile but she was in pain and I don’t think she ever really recovered from these tragedies.

She courageously carried on and devoted her life to the church, family, friends and the animal friends, of course.

She became more outwardly the environmentally concerned mum, she’d always been.

I am so proud of her for that and everything else she advocated in her own quiet way.

She continued to gently show me that prejudice, selfishness, greed and conflict were truly the evils of the world. That flame burns very bright in me. When I look at my many faults, mum’s wisdom is always the guiding light.

Sometimes it’s not obvious or easy to follow but it’s firmly in my heart and that’s where It will live, forever.

The cruel curse of dementia took this truly beautiful and shinning woman from this earth.

The world is wounded and diminished by her moving on. Heaven has gained a most heavenly soul.

I have tried to write about a great life. Mum is rejoining her beloved husband and daughter, father, mum and brother.

Everyone who has ever met mum, always say the same thing. “She is such a lovely, kind woman”.

That alone makes her life great.

Because to be loved by all the lives a person touches and enriches, is surely the greatest achievement of them all?

So, as we, her family and friends look to the future we remember those softly spoken words.

“Don’t ever worry, everything works out as it should, it will be fine”

There can never be, the faintest whisper of a doubt. Mum says so.