Jane Payne (13 Aug 1958 - 6 Jan 2020)

It a beautiful testament to Jane’s life that so many powerful and heartfelt testimonials have been shared since her passing.

“Death ends a life, not a relationship. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.” Morrie Schwartz

There were over seventy people at Jane’s funeral and this obituary is a compiled from the order of service and words shared.

Jane was born in Sheffield to Joyce and Gil Bowling on 13th August 1958. She was the younger of two sisters, Sue being the eldest.

Her passion for horses was sparked by a donkey ride on a beach holiday. Luckily for Jane, close to her home was a stable yard, Millview. Soon she became the young girl mucking out so she could get a chance of a ride. It was at Millview that Jane attained her Pony Club A Test, setting her on her way.

Her school reports show promising O’Levels, but horses were a huge 'distraction', as were pubs and music by the time of her A’ Levels. She loved David Bowie, Eno, Brian Ferry and later The Human League, one of whom proposed to her.

Jane trained in Harrogate and acquired an orange mini called Oliver and the nickname Stormz. She worked for a number of yards, there were stories of wearing snow covered clogs in freezing accommodation, of warming her feet at night on a wire-haired dachshund called Mr Dibble, of rows of barley wines lined up on the pub counter for her birthday and the day when the indoor school crashed onto the outdoor school in high winds.

In 1980 Jane moved Berlin as instructor for the British Berlin Saddle club. To get there she sold all her records (or was that to mend the mini?) and landed in Berlin with a riding hat and boots and £10 in cash.

For nine years she was instructor in Berlin and forged many long-lasting friendships, inspiring people of all ages to have a lifelong love of riding and horses. In 1984 Jane bought Tubby and together they competed in Berlin. She met her first husband Dave, who was a teacher, but they separated in 1987.

In 1988 Regiments changed and Jane met Mike who joined the saddle club as a novice rider. Come the end of the year Mike was posted to Sinai and Jane decided to return to the UK. She moved to Perthshire and worked at The Mark Philips Gleneagles Equestrian Centre, where again she made a huge impression and continued working with the RDA.

Mike joined her after leaving the army and for 18 months they lived in a cottage outside Auchterarder, before moving to Car Colston in Nottinghamshire. Jane then became an instructor at a local equine college.

However, Jane’s health wasn’t as robust as it was, she had experienced double vison in Berlin, one of the early symptoms of MS, and when she took her Instructor’s exam in 1991, she was unsteady on her feet. In 1992 her GP suspected a spinal tumour and quickly referred her. She was diagnosed with MS, the second after being told this her parents walked through the ward door to visit her.

For two years things were ok, Jane continue to work but she was getting weaker. In 1994 Jane and Mike got married, buying her first walking stick on their honeymoon. Two years later Poppy was born, after which Jane took redundancy to be a full-time mum.

Jane and Poppy became a familiar sight been wheeled about on Jane’s rollator and sharing a scooter on dog walks. She still had Tubby and would ride her with the aid of two long whips in lieu of leg aids.

Jane helped set up Dovecote Farm RDA Group, being secretary for over 20 years. There she continued to share her immense horse knowledge and inspire so many people.

For 10 years Jane was also an active member of the Nottingham MS Therapy Centre, this included being carried in a wheelchair over Mount Snowdon to raise funds.

The pattern of volunteering with the RDA and supporting Poppy as she developed her own love for ponies and horses continued over the years, periodically hampered by MS flaring up and time in hospital recovering from infections.

Over the past few years Jane’s hearing, mobility and cognition all became worse, exacerbated by two falls. However, as 2019 came to an end Jane was getting some effective neuro-physio help and ironically, was looking positively forward.

But things were not quite right in December, an infection took time to surface and only partially responded to medication. Over New Year her condition got much worse and she was admitted to hospital. It was a huge shock that post admission her condition rapidly deteriorated over 3 days, it is a blessing she was conscious and could talk a few words as she entered end of life care.

Jane was at peace when she passed away on the morning of 6th January.

Don’t be a fair weather rider – a testimonial by Poppy

I am very grateful to say that my whole childhood was pretty much spent outdoors, doing the hobby I loved with my role model.

But on the cold, rainy days with the horses, when I definitely wasn’t in a determined spirit, Mum would always tell me ‘don’t be a fair weather rider’. Meaning basically rain or shine, you’ve got to carry on. She meant this quite literally, as she bundled another layer on to help me with the haynets or spend hours watching me ride.

I think everyone at some point would have seen her on the scooter with the dogs whatever the weather, multiple times a day, making sure those beagles were fully spoilt with sniffs.

But she lived by this moto every day in the challenges she faced, meaning that her adversities weren’t seen by everyone. Every duty or favour was completed to 100% of her ability. Whether it be dog walking, proof reading Dad’s emails or spell and grammar checking all 16,000 words of my dissertation on Multiple Sclerosis - which Dad has since admitted he only skim read.

She will always be my biggest role model as she was always my biggest cheerleader. And if in times of hardship, setbacks or lack of self-belief, be like Mum and remember, don’t be a fair weather rider.

A special tribute to Jane on behalf of all of us from the Dovecote Farm RDA Group.

As group coach and secretary, Jane was co founder of the Dovecote Farm RDA group along with Heather Gunn back in 1998, set up to provide weekly riding lessons for children with special needs. Despite being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis shortly before, Jane lived life to the full. Never one to admit defeat she faced any challenges head on; her sheer determination and enthusiasm meant that nothing ever stood in the way of running RDA or promoting the cause. In the early days when walking around the arena became difficult she simply mounted her trusty stead of 14 years, Gate Crasher, also affectionately known as Tubby and ran the lessons on horseback with just a little help getting in and out of the saddle.

Despite the logistical difficulties, Jane loved to take the children to RDA’s Countryside Challenge and Flintham Ploughing Matches...curiously held everywhere but Flintham! Jane had a particular fondness for fudge and if she ever went missing at such events, she could usually be found checking out the nearby confectionary stalls; the homemade cakes at RDA training sessions were always a hot favourite too. Getting to such events was somewhat of an experience in itself, Jane didn’t particularly like driving long distances, so one of us volunteers would be nominated as chauffer and it soon became apparent why. For those of us used to driving a car with a bit of muscle under the bonnet, getting behind the wheel of Jane’s WAV (wheelchair accessible vehicle) was not for the faint hearted, once you resigned yourself to sticking in the slow lane and avoiding busy junctions it was a bit easier on the nerves, but with less than smooth gears and brakes designed to propel you through the windscreen at the lightest touch, not everyone was up for the challenge! Shredded nerves aside, the journeys were always made interesting with Jane’s fascinating and funny stories of her life around horses and the people she met; she never failed to lift the spirits and put a smile on your face.

Over the years Jane’s heroic efforts passed largely unnoticed, mainly due to the fact that she would insist that there were others far more worthy of accolades than herself and didn’t want any fuss. After her superhuman efforts arranging lessons and awards for the children from a hospital bed following a severe infection, we finally decided that her dedication to the cause could no longer be ignored and entered her into the RDA Volunteer of the Year Awards in 2015. She deservedly won the regional title and was presented with the award at the Flintham Ploughing match by regional chair Clarissa Hawkins...I think she was secretly rather pleased!

Jane was a true inspiration to us all and will be sadly missed. In spite of her disability, she never complained, even as her health deteriorated she always remained positive and upbeat. It is testament to Janes’s values that on Wednesday, the day after the shock announcement of her passing, despite overwhelming sadness, all our regular volunteers turned up for the usual lessons, the last thing Jane would have wanted would have been for us to cancel. Mercifully, our grief was eased somewhat by the unexpected appearance of a new pony called Elf. If ever there was a real life incarnation of a Thelwell pony then this pony is it. He has to be the cutest, smallest, stockiest, fluffiest and most adorable pony we have ever set eyes upon; it was love at first sight. Indeed, several volunteers had to be restrained from loading him into the boot of their cars! The children have fallen head over heels for him too with many now insisting on giving him a farewell pat before boarding the school minibus.

In 2018 Dovecote Farm RDA celebrated its twentieth anniversary. Thanks to Jane, Dovecote Farm RDA Group has continued to thrive and put smiles on the faces of hundreds of children. Jane has left a lasting legacy of which her family should be immensely proud. Left in the safe hands of fellow devotees, hopefully it will continue to enhance the lives of special needs children for many more years to come...

A selection of testimonials and kind words sent in cards and messages which were gathered by Poppy and introduced by William Micklam.

I am honoured to say a few words about Jane…although she would hate being the centre of attention and give me one of those ‘Jane looks’ of disapproval. Jane was both a treasure and a great coach. I have little doubt that had life given her different cards to play she would have progressed to become a Fellow of the British Horse Society. She was the complete teacher, humble and generous to a fault and without ego… her students' needs always took first place with her, although both her aptly named mare Tubby and terrier Ollie ran them a very close second!

Mike and Poppy have felt so blessed to receive many such kind messages about Jane since her passing. So, to include everyone in her celebration they have collected some of these memories and words, to reflect Jane’s life, and asked me to read them:

‘Jane obviously adored her horses and was able to get the best out of both horse and rider. She had a voice like a foghorn and you could hear her 1/2 way across Berlin but I never remember her getting angry, which given the level of idiocy of some of her pupils (myself included!) was a miracle!! Talk about patience.’

‘Jane was always such a positive and inspiring person from the time we first met you, soon after her diagnosis, she always took her MS as a challenge to overcome’

'She was so beautiful and had such a great way of thinking laterally. A truly unique person. Thank you Jane for being my friend.’

‘Jane was a remarkable lady who was very passionate about her association with RDA. So many children benefited from her dedication over so many years. As a group, we will miss her greatly and I personally will miss her experience and guidance. She will never be forgotten’.

‘My dear Jane, you have been such an inspiration to me since I met you 3 years ago. Your strength to carry on despite everything you have dealt with is quite frankly staggering. In the morning when I am feeling tired, cold, grumpy, I think of you and I give myself a kick up the arse and get going. I feel honoured to call you my friend.’
‘We always enjoyed our trips to East Bridgeford plays and lunches together at the Atrium, I will miss her.’

‘Jane was such a fantastic person, dedicating her time to the RDA with so much enthusiasm.’

‘Our thoughts are with you at this sad loss of an extraordinary woman, wife, mother and equestrian.’

‘What can I say? Jane was so special and tackled all the challenges life threw at her head on.’

‘We would see Jane more than any other person most days in the village – we will all miss her.’

‘I have very happy memories of talking to Jane when she was taking Crumble for a walk. We talked dogs for ages.’

‘As usual we enjoyed Jane’s marvellous Christmas letter, full of her usual vibrant, lively personality’ ….

I think I can safely say that there that Jane’s dogs, Ollie, Crumble, Dazzle and Diva, were the most talented, photogenic and erudite dogs of all time!

‘Mike, on your wedding day, she was so happy to marry you and you’ve been a wonderful husband to her. Jane was exceedingly brave to have a baby, yet Poppy gave her true joy and she was always proud of her beautiful, clever daughter. With that dreadful illness Jane always kept herself looking nice and appeared happy yet we know she conquered much pain and many people had great admiration for the true lady that she was. She was special.’

If I may sum up these tributes…..we should celebrate Jane’s life, both now and in the future. She always gave more than she got…she taught us all and by example she led ….we should be so grateful that she gave so much to so many, and she will continue to do this.…this is her legacy …. through her achievements and our memories she lives on…so I will finish with some words of Will Olgilvie that are so appropriate for Jane….it’s called Running On.

The dusk is down on the river meadows,
The moon is climbing above the fir,
The lane is crowded with creeping shadows,
The gorse is but a distant blur;
The last of the light is almost gone,
But hark! They're running!
They're running on !

The count of the years is steadily growing;
The old give way to the eager young;
Far on the hill is the horn still blowing,
Far on the steep are the hounds still strung.
Good women follow the good woman gone;
But hark! She’s running!
She’s running on!

Mike ended the service with a New Year blessing by John O'Donohue, apt for this time of year and apt because as Jane would say, Kick on! It’s called Beannacht...

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

Jane’s coffin, decorated with images which were special too her, was then lowered into her grave with Songbird by Fleetwood Mac playing.