This donation is from Eunice and David Dicken. Many thanks to you both.
donated in memory of Ruth
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Ruth Anne Petter (5 Jan 1934 - 28 Dec 2019)
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Ruth AnneLeicester Hospitals Charity
£911.87 + Gift Aid of £107.50
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- Location
- Great Glen Crematorium London Road Leicester LE8 9DJ
- Date
- 13th Jan 2020
- Time
- 4.30pm
January 5th 2021
Today would have been Mum's 87th birthday. But instead she decided to take her exit 4 days before the beginning of 2020. Perfect timing. For so many reasons I think she would not have enjoyed 2020 - Coronavirus and Boris, to name a couple, though not necessarily in that order!
But here is something for you all to enjoy - a slideshow of pictures of Mum's life, put together by her friend, Clare Thorpe. Thanks Clare, this is beautiful.
Clare has hosted the slideshow and you should be able to view by clicking on the link below:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vjOjU1jFRq37v0SW5g9n-FBW2hw9Qpej/view
Happy birthday, Mum.
Love from Jon, Rupert & all your friends.
Welcome to the memorial webpage for Ruth Petter, set up by her sons Jon and Rupert. Below you can read a short biography of our mum, see some photos of her and listen to the beautiful music she chose herself for her funeral (unfortunately this template doesn't allow us to add live weblinks for each piece, but you can copy and paste each link into a browser to hear it).
The music includes the song Legacy, which Jon wrote for Mum shortly before she died and which is performed by his band deliBass, a version of Somewhere over the Rainbow recorded specially for the funeral by Mum's former pupil, dear friend and 'honorary daughter' Meryl Thomas, and a recording of the opening movement of Bach's Magnificat sung by the choir of Christ Church Cathedral Oxford, featuring a 12-year-old Rupert.
You'll also find the text of the two poems she chose, which were read beautifully by her dear friends John and Jill Branwell.
You can also leave a comment or memory of Ruth, and see a slideshow put together by our AV genius friend Darren Davidson for her wake (thank you Darren!), that includes clips of Ruth from a 1980 BBC documentary about one of her singing pupils.
Our thanks to everyone who was able to join us for Mum’s send-off on January 13th, and all the many other well-wishers we have been in touch with since Mum died who shared sympathy and happy memories with us. Thanks also to all those who have made generous donations to our preferred charity, Leicester Hospitals Charity, in recognition of the extraordinary care and kindness Mum received over many stays in Glenfield Hospital over the last two years of her life, and the amazing support given there to family and friends who shared her last days.
Always with us Mum.
Biography
Ruth was born in 1934 in Manchester, to parents Ernest and Rosa, who had met while singing in the Manchester Choir. She was their second child, with a sister, Mary, ten years older.
Ruth’s family home was filled with music, with Rosa often accompanying Ernest’s fine tenor voice on the piano for guests. Ruth would listen to her father’s large collection of classical 78s, sometimes adjusting the speed when she decided the conductor hadn’t got it right.
During World War II, she was evacuated twice, first with her family to the Isle of Man, and later, aged six, on her own to rural Wales to stay with a local family for three years. As a child, wherever she sang, she was always chosen to be a soloist, but it was in Wales that her precocious talent really came to light, when despite her tender years she won an eisteddfod poetry and music competition, singing in Welsh.
She returned to a new family home in Macclesfield, by now a wilful and moody child who was often in trouble at school. She was championed however by her inspiring music teacher Miss Bowden, and at 12 played the role of Cherubino in a school production of Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro.
At 14, Ruth was sent to study at the Ursuline Convent Tildonk in Belgium in an attempt to correct her unruly ways. She was deeply unhappy at the strict institution, but a compensation was the many opportunities she found to sing in church, and she was spotted there by a Belgian radio executive, who would later open the door to the world of opera.
Ruth returned home when she was 16 and worked for three years to save the money to go to music college in Manchester, meanwhile having singing lessons every Saturday. Engaged briefly, she nearly moved to Tanzania with her fiancé Arnold, but broke it off.
Aged 20, Ruth won a scholarship to Dartington School of Music in Totnes, but found the teaching a disappointment, and after a year left for London. Sharing a flat and working as a temp shorthand typist, she took singing lessons with several eminent teachers, including Oriska Gareb, who Ruth always referred to reverentially as ‘Madame’, and credited with transforming her voice. Ruth would rise at 6am every day to practise, have three weekly lessons with Madame during her lunch breaks, and practise again each night.
A three-year scholarship to London’s Opera School followed, during which Ruth won her first professional engagements, singing a concert at the Italian Embassy and in two productions at the Royal Court Theatre, one of which drew an early plaudit from her beloved Guardian newspaper. The radio executive who had heard her sing at the convent also got in touch, inviting her to audition at Brussels’ opera house The Théâtre Royal de la Monnaie, where she won a role.
Soon afterwards, Ruth married Derek Mellor, a Macclesfield lad she’d first met playing cricket when she was 14. She had met him again aged 19, and a friendship that began with her giving him French lessons slowly grew into love. They married in Macclesfield in December 1959.
Professional engagements continued to roll in. Ruth spent several months in Brussels in Mozart’s The Magic Flute and sang in Mozart’s Requiem at the Royal College of Music. More roles and recitals followed, and then the game-changing news that world-famous opera and film director Franco Zeffirelli wanted to meet her. He cast her as Flora in a production of La Traviata that would tour the great opera houses of Europe.
Sadly, before the tour began, Ruth suffered a breakdown that saw her hospitalised for several months. One of the pressures contributing to her severe depression was the dilemma of whether to pursue what would undoubtedly be a highly demanding career or have a family, and Ruth decided to rest her singing ambitions, and soon had her sons Jonathan, in 1964, and Rupert, in 1967.
She started singing again, and after she moved with her family to Leicester in 1970, started teaching. Before long she earned a reputation as a highly skilled and passionate teacher and took a position at Leicester University’s music department. Despite continuing to battle depression, she threw herself enthusiastically into the city’s cultural life and made many lifelong friends, as well as finding time to care for her elderly, widowed mother, who had also moved to Leicester.
With both sons grown up, Ruth made the decision to end her difficult 40-year marriage, marking the beginning of her new life chapter with an adventurous three-month solo trip to Australia. Moving to a new house, she found new work, continued to travel often, and dedicated more of her time to her ever-growing circle of cherished friends, with her reading group and bridge club two great sources of loyal, enduring companionship.
Ever young at heart – as unfailingly indicated by her wardrobe – she bonded for life with many of her sons’ friends on her frequent visits to them in London, attending many of Jon’s bands’ gigs and getting involved with a young actors’ group which she offered free vocal production coaching that often transformed their singing abilities. After Jon and his wife Fran settled in Australia, Ruth would often pay them extended visits, relishing her new role as ‘Oma’ to Jon and Fran’s three children Max, Lulu and Gus and joining family holidays.
Even in her last years, when her underlying illness limited her more and more, she fought courageously to maintain as full and connected a life as possible. As often as she could, she would summon the energy to meet with friends, animatedly discuss politics with anyone who would listen, go to the cinema to watch movies or live transmissions of operas from London and New York, and, as she had all her life, read The Guardian every day.
Ruth will be lovingly remembered, and greatly missed.
Ruth's musical choices
Entrance music: Legacy by Delibass
https://soundcloud.com/delibass/legacy-mpc4000-v5/s-9R6ay
1. Magnificat, from Magnificat in E flat major by Johann Sebastian Bach
Performed by the Choir of Christ Church Cathedral Oxford and the Academy of Ancient Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQG9T5Ac-h0
2. An die Musik, by Franz Schubert
Performed by Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZZqZTKoFcM
3. La Maja y el Ruisenor, from Goyescas by Enrique Granados
Performed by Victoria de los Angeles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1gDsw2DcJ8
4. Somewhere over the Rainbow, from The Wizard of Oz by Harold Arlen
Performed by Meryl Thomas
https://soundcloud.com/jonatfunkydad/somewhere-over-the-rainbow
5. Offertoire, from Requiem by Gabriel Fauré
Performed by Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau, Choeurs Elisabeth Brasseur and Orchestre de la Societé des Concerts du Conservatoire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSSiXrJhHKA
6. Liebestod, from Tristan und Isolde by Richard Wagner
Performed by Birgit Nilsson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PlC2sBlPOU
7. Ol’ Man River, from Show Boat by Jerome Kern
Performed by Frank Sinatra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnZBfw-s1-A
8. Hab mir’s gelobt, from Der Rosenkavalier by Richard Strauss
Performed by Renée Fleming, Barbara Bonney and Susan Graham
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnJOnruXpo4
Closing music: The Lark Ascending, by Ralph Vaughan Williams
Performed by Nigel Kennedy and City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2HrbLTaEVA
Slideshow including BBC clips
https://www.dropbox.com/s/u6lqv8gj8q0cl38/Ruth%27s%20Slideshow.m4v?dl=0
POETRY
Business Girls by John Betjeman
From the geyser ventilators
Autumn winds are blowing down
On a thousand business women
Having baths in Camden Town
Waste pipes chuckle into runnels,
Steam's escaping here and there,
Morning trains through Camden cutting
Shake the Crescent and the Square.
Early nip of changeful autumn,
Dahlias glimpsed through garden doors,
At the back precarious bathrooms
Jutting out from upper floors;
And behind their frail partitions
Business women lie and soak,
Seeing through the draughty skylight
Flying clouds and railway smoke.
Rest you there, poor unbelov'd ones,
Lap your loneliness in heat.
All too soon the tiny breakfast,
Trolley-bus and windy street!
Promised Land by Michael Rosen
A family arrived and said they had papers
to prove that his house was theirs.
No, no, said the man, my people have always lived here,
my father, grandfather .... and look, the garden,
my great-grandfather planted that.
No, no, said the family, look at the documents.
There was a stack of them.
Where do I start? said the man.
No need to read the beginning, they said,
turn to the page marked ‘Promised Land’.
Are they legal? he said, who wrote them?
God, they said, God wrote them, look -
Here come His tanks.
wrote
I just got back from picking up Mum's ashes at the Funeral Directors. A woman, whom I recognised from the party that brought the hearse and officiated at the funeral, said to me, and I quote (approximately) "I have to say that picture on the coffin was one of the most beautifullest pictures of a woman I have ever seen. And the service was lovely. You must be very proud to be her sons!" Well, when you put it like that, yes, I guess we are!
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wrote
From an email to Jon and Rupert from Ann Bannister, Ruth's childhood and lifelong friend and parent, with husband Mike, of Ruth's goddaughter Helen Pletts
I’d like to share a few memories from years ago. There are many of course! Ruth and I had close contact in our personal lives, rather than careers etc. I went to stay with her and the family in Macclesfield for many years as a schoolgirl and later as a student. We kept in touch while she was at Tildonk convent. Letters were limited by the school (censored!).
Ruth visited my parents Harold and Florence a lot when I was at college in Liverpool, so she built up a special relationship with them. Later we were both busy, living and working, but always in close contact (even though we didn’t have access to any of today’s methods). So we shared weddings, new families etc. Over the years I went to London, Chatham and Leicester to visit and she came to us in Shropshire, Yorkshire and Suffolk. My mother was often included in later years. She lived to be 99 years old! So we shared a lot, and I could probably write a book, as they say!
When we were 14 we went to the Lake District with an English teacher, another friend Miriam and two sixth formers. The idea was to stay in the YHA hostels and soak up Wordsworth. The weather was simply awful and we didn’t have the sensible clothing available now. I had my father’s tattered Home Guard cape and Ruth’s shoes were very thin!
I particularly remember that we decided to climb Cat Bells, outside Keswick. No easy paths there in those days! I don’t seem to remember the teacher, at this point, I think we were having one of our own adventures! Anyway we had a real wet and windy struggle and got to the top, with lots of laughter and amazement. I have been there twice since and thought about her.
Another time we went to a fruit-picking farm in Stratford on Avon. We had lots of fun, but again the weather was awful a lot of the time. We were sent to work indoors, at some point, in a canning factory! We had to stand at a conveyor-belt arrangement, sorting plums into large tins. The belt had water dribbling over it the whole time (meant to wash the plums I suppose). Of course we got very wet again . We would have been better under the trees. Anyway at some point we found out that our pay would be only a few pence per hour! We also noticed that there were women working near us for whom the job was full-time. So we went to complain for them. Needless to say, we were sacked at once!
One last memory for now. Ruth, Derek and Jon came to stay with us in Bridgnorth. Jon was very small and needed to sleep in a proper cot, which we had. Early on the first morning of their stay I woke early and suddenly heard the sweetest sound of singing. I peeped in at the door, thinking it was Ruth, but standing at the end of the cot singing SO beautifully was Jon. Sing a Song of Sixpence – and not just any singing, but every note perfectly delivered, while his parents stayed fast asleep!
Enough for now. Thinking of you both Jon and Rupert, and so happy to read your loving, caring words about your mother! How pleased she would be. Love, Ann.
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donated £30 in memory of Ruth
I first got to know Ruth (and Derek) when I came to work for the City (afterwards County)Council in 1972, and remained in touch with Ruth to almost the end. I have many happy memories of opera performances with Ruth, from a stunning Samson et Delilia at Covent Garden, to an equally remarkable but very different with Opera Minima performance of Walton's The Bear and Puccini's Il Tabbaro in their 36 seat(!) Old Corset Factory near Market Harborough. Ruth was also a great singing teacher who helped and encouraged me greatly when I had a crisis over the long-planned Handel 250th festival at Church Longton.
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donated in memory of Ruth
In memory of a good and much missed friend
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donated £180 in memory of Ruth
This sum is from the collection taken at our Mum Ruth's funeral, and is in recognition both of the outstanding care she received over the last two years of her life, and the amazing support given to myself and other family members and friends over her difficult last days in Glenfield Ward 17. Eternally grateful.
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donated in memory of Ruth
I am making this donation on behalf of myself and my mother Ann Bannister, who first met Ruth when they were both 10. Ruth was my Godmother. Sending loving wishes to everyone who knew Ruth, both family and friends.
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donated in memory of Ruth
In loving memory of our dear Ruth.
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donated £20 in memory of Ruth
Thinking of you both. Funeral was really special. Big hugs. Saeed
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lit a candle
donated £25 in memory of Ruth
Dear Jon and Tu
I met your Mum only a couple of times but it felt as I had known her fofor a long time. She was always present in your loving words and stories from the past. I read today about her incredible life; love to music and people and about her passion in sharing her talent with others. She will be alive in their memories forever. She passed her love to music to you too- what an amazing gift for life from a loving Mum...
I wish I could be with you today remembering your lovely Mum and listening to her favourite music...
Jon, Ru, Fran, Max, Lulu and Gus
Thinking about you all so fondly.
Lots of love
Monika, Bryn and Maja
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wrote
In loving memory of Ruth who was our lovely neighbour for 19 years. She had a compassionate heart, recognising the troubled child our eldest was growing up and was super-tolerant and giving in her willingness to allow him to drum at great inconvenience to her I'm sure. His passion for drumming has never wavered and one day we'd love to think he could prove Ruth's incredible patience worthwhile. We know how fortunate we were to have her as a neighbour.
Ruth was a very interesting person with lots to say about life, politics, music, family and friends although she wasn't ever keen on gossip.
Most of my fond memories are chatting in her lounge over coffee which she loved, the coffee that is!!
Over the past few years our relationship changed little but she sometimes needed assistance with things which I think she bore remarkably well for someone so incredibly intelligent and mentally alert.
I have found myself being repeatedly saddened that I will not see Ruth any more and it is quite hard to think of her lovely home without her in it.
God bless you Ruth. Thank you for all your kindness and generosity to us and for all the times we spent just chatting about life. We will miss you.
Wendy, Tony, Ben and Hannah xxx
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donated £39.37 in memory of Ruth
Jon and family - we are all thinking of you at this time and send our warmest wishes and deep sympathy.
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Comments
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That's my kind of employer! Thank you ACF. Your support is very much appreciated.
wrote
Jon - we are all thinking of you and your family at this time. Sending you our very best wishes and deep sympathy.
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donated £20 in memory of Ruth
We have very fond memories of Ruth. We will always remember her warmth and her humour. She was always welcoming, with a special aura. Thinking of Jonathan, Rupert and the family at this terribly sad time.
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is attending the funeral
lit a candle
is attending the funeral
wrote
David and Elizabeth are very sorry to hear about Ruth. A very special lady and dear friend of Margaret Hyde.
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donated £50 in memory of Ruth
Ruth, a special lady. A Beloved friend and fellow musician of Margaret Hyde.
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is attending the funeral
donated in memory of Ruth
Missing my dear friend and mentor. Still cannot believe I won't be able to see
her again in this life. I have so many wonderful memories of singing tuition with
her and learning so much music I would not
have dreamed of without her encourgement. Adele and I have spent so many happy Christmas days
with Ruth, Jon and Rupert,amidst much fun and teasing (me) about still needing singing lessons and not haven't learnt how to do it yet!
Thinking of you all so fondly.
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is attending the funeral
wrote
Dear Rupert and Jon
From a child to an adult your lovely Mum would always welcome me with such warmth and kindness. I feel blessed to of known her. She will be greatly missed so sorry for your loss . Much love 💕
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donated £20 in memory of Ruth
Sending John and Rupert our sympathy and love on the loss of Ruth. I had known Ruth for about 50 years and during that time we were able to help and love each other. She was always a lady and adored both her sons. She had an enormous heart and a strong will to live her life as interestingly as she could. She will be greatly missed. John used to love going to the films of operas with her, until his health deteriorated. She will always be remembered with love and admiration. Joan and John.
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