Mum - a personal reflection:
8.20am on Tuesday 17th December 2019 was when the big man decided it was mum’s ‘Time to go’. Those 3 words were how my wee boy Aidan summed up the situation when I told him his Gran had gone to heaven. Part of me wishes mum had got more time to spend with us and to see Aidan and his cousins grow up so that they would have more memories of her. Another part of me is grateful for the precious time I did have and that I was fortunate enough to have her as my mum. I am also grateful that her final illness and suffering is now at an end and she is finally at peace.
My entire life I have been aware of the huge shadow cast around mum due to the absence of her beloved sister Cecily. Poor Cecily died at the age of 21 in 1959 when mum was just 13. Later in 1993 the love of her life my dad Charlie died suddenly at the age of 47. Mum kept going then for us her children. She kept our family together through thick and thin but the longing for Cecily and my Dad never left her. The fact she is now reunited with both of them, her parents, her brother (my uncle Frank) and her dear friend Daria is a thought that has given me immense comfort this last week.
In contrast to the departure of family and friends the arrival of new generations was always the thing that brought most joy and happiness into mum’s life. She always described how the arrival of my cousins Chris and Hugh in the late 1960s brought happiness back into the Boyle family for the first time in many years. The period after she married my dad in 1970 when they lived firstly in Lawrie Street, Patrick and then in Riddrie Crescent, when myself, David and Celia were all born was the time she always talked of most fondly and wistfully. That was perhaps the time in her life when she was most content and happy?
I also remember when each and every one of her Grand children was born. Each birth and each wee person gave her indescribable joy and happiness. This new generation has been the most important aspect of her later life by far and she spent many years looking after the older ones when their parents were at work.
On a personal level mum was always a massive help and support to me. It would be disingenuous to try and portray mum as some kind of saint. She was very human and had many flaws but fundamentally she was full of love and she passed that love on to us. She always had time to listen and offer encouragement.
She also had a very irreverent sense of humour. As a graduate of Notre Dame college and a dedicated school teacher she liked to think of herself as prim and proper. She was indeed a lady, however often she could quite effortlessly and naturally drift into bawdy anecdotes and jokes with colourful language to boot. (Often originating from my papa Frank). Humour was indeed part of her soul and she was no prude.
Mum was also able to transcend that line that not every parent is capable in that she was also my friend. In particular we had a shared love of music. Mum achieved grade 6 in piano and played the Viola in the Notre Dame high school orchestra. This was a talent she rarely talked about or displayed with the exception of singing with her grand children. At the age of 6 I became an Elvis fan via her music. Later I came to love the Beatles. Later again I went to see the Beach Boys, Brian Wilson, the Everly brothers, the Seekers, Jools Holland, Elton John and many other concerts with her. I also accompanied her on several holidays especially to Ireland where she took me to where our Boyle ancestors came from in Antrim, showing me the hall in Port Stewart where she saw the Kinks with her cousins in 1966. We also visited the ring of Kerry where she had spent her honeymoon with my Dad.
Ultimately though mum was a home body. Bishopbriggs became her home when our family moved there in 1982. In 1993 when my Dad died the sustained ongoing support my mum received locally from the community in Bishopbriggs was what got her through and gave her the strength to carry on. The late Cathie McKie formed the “Merry Widows” with mum, Anne Murray and Kathleen Hazlett. Cathie was the kindest, sincerest and most amazing person and I will always remember her fondly and with deep respect. The “Scone Club” consisted of mum, Trudy Nicholson , Veronica Kelly and Maureen Flynn. Later on mum, Anne Buchanan and Maureen Rotchford became close friends and a support system for each other. In 1996 mum joined her “Wednesday Club”. Not only did her “Wednesday” friends help mum in a way no one else had been able but over 20 years they also gave her the opportunity to help lots of other people too which she most definitely did.
All the while mum continued to maintain her lifelong friendship with Patricia Kennedy, Liz Sheridan and Ethna Kerr. (Sadly her school friend Daria died in 2001). These friends remained loyal to mum right to the end and will always have my deep respect, gratitude and friendship.
Right now It is hard to imagine this world without mum but I know life will go on. It is a great comfort that mum is again with Dad and all the people she missed so much in this life. I love her and will miss her so much but as aunt Kathleen Roach once said “life is for the living”. Mum certainly has plenty of descendants who fit that category thank God! In the spirit of mum’s sometimes black humour if you measure our family by the one in one out rule we’ve done pretty well: Actually in the last 17 years 8 in, one out so in truth we’ve actually had a damn good run!!!
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