Colin Spencer (22 Aug 1948 - 28 Mar 2015)

From John Bentley

"Yesterday my son started technical college. I’d spent time telling him how different it from school. And stories of my time at People’s college Nottingham. I told him of a lecturer called Colin Spencer. A man who turned me from a 16 year old rebel into an engineer. Who had a real profound impact on my life. I still remember his speech to us all on the first day and I recited it to my 16 year old son. This prompted be today to see if I could find him and maybe send him a message with my son starting college just this Monday. Sadly I found this obituary. I feel really sad, and I’m sorry for your loss. But if it’s any consolation he made a massive impact on me, and his words have been passed to the latest generation only this week."

I asked John if he would share Dad's speech to new students.

"Here goes… to the best of my memory.

He welcomed us all, and said 'I’m Colin Spencer and unlike School I’m not Mr Spencer but Colin.

'From today you’re in charge of your education, its not like school. You won’t get a detention. If you want to leave do so quietly, if you don’t fancy coming one day that’s also fine. If you want to go for a smoke, leave quickly and quietly but don’t dare ask me what you’ve missed.

'If you don’t do the work, finish the projects or miss lessons that’s fine no one will chase you as you’re in charge.

'While in my class I’ll give you 100% of my time but if you don’t want it that’s ok.

'The only judgement you get will be whether you pass or fail, if you don’t care and don’t pass that’s fine also as I’ll be here next year with some new lads and you won’t.'

"After school this was a real eye opener, but it really kick started me and I took the advice and left with distinctions which was in contrast to my school qualifications.

"I’ve delivered this to my son. And I’ve delivered a version of this to trainees at work.

"One thing I do remember is his love of football. I remember in one term I’d finished my practical work and he challenged me to make a giant refferees whistle. Which I did it was the size of a grapefruit. It was for a football presentation night where someone at the club had managed to break a number of whistles during the season and he wanted to present it as a joke, unfortunately this was my last year in 1991 so I never knew how it went in the night.

"Real happy memories… and I deeply regret not reaching out sooner. But life gets busy and you don’t think.

"Rough numbers but I think over 3 years we started with 25 ish lads and only 13 of lasted the full 3. Some didn’t take on his advice, others changed jobs and a few just disappeared!

"I’m so glad we’ve spoken as I some way this closes the loop for me.

"And again sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2017 and it’s never easy."

Thanks John for sharing your memories with us.

Read by Sally Skop at the service:

Memories In The Heart – Anon

Feel no guilt in laughter,
He knows how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile
That he’s not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever,
He would not want you to.
He'd hope that you could carry on
The way you always do.
So talk about the good times,
The way you showed you cared.
The days you spent together,
All the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you,
A word someone may say,
Will suddenly recapture
A time, an hour, a day
That brings him back as clearly
As though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling
That he is always near.
For if you keep those moments
You will never be apart
And he will live forever
Locked safe within your heart.

Eulogy from service by Emma Humphrey:

What it takes to be a Dad

Growing up, it’s easy for anyone to feel the odd one out. Then, with time & hindsight, we often wonder what on earth we were worrying about!
When Darren & I were at school, many of our friends’ parents were divorced or divorcing. Some of those kids saw their fathers rarely; some never even knew their dads. Sometimes I felt the odd one out cos our parents were still together and clearly loved each other and us! But I’ve always known in my heart what a privilege, what good fortune that was.
Many of you will know Colin the wind-up merchant – confident; laughing; cheeky; revelling in the spotlight. Family and close friends will also know Colin the worrier (or whittler – not a term I hear in Newcastle).
In work and in sport, this side of him expressed itself in diligence, professionalism and graft – something he worked very hard to instil in his students and players. Firm but fair, and firm because he cares: they’re clichés because they’re true.
He worried about us kids, worried for us.
He worried about you lot too.
As the family joke goes, he worried for England.

Because he cared.
Because he loved us.
Because he wanted us to succeed.
Because he wanted us to be happy.
 
These days it can be hard for blokes to know how they fit into the world. The definition of what it is to be a “good man” is shifting.
Since our Dad died, some people have said:
• He was a gentleman.
• He was a mentor.
• He was a father figure to many; to some their first.
• He was my second Dad, and so much more.
When we were small, he worried that he wouldn’t be capable of being a good father, a good man. Well that’s one doubt of his we can put to rest with him: he was a great father; he was a great man.

Dad

If I could write a story
It would be the greatest ever told
Of a kind and loving dad
Who had a heart of gold
I could write a million pages
But still be unable to say, just
How much I love and miss you every single day
I will remember all you taught me
I'm hurting but won't be sad
Because you'll always be my Dad

Read at the funeral, on behalf of Darren

Grandad



You never said I'm leaving

You never said goodbye

You were gone before we knew it

And nobody knows why.



A Million times we'll need you

A million times we've cried

If love alone could have saved you

You never would have died.



In life we loved you dearly

In death we love you still

In our hearts we hold a special

Place that only you can fill.



Always and forever Grandad



Read at the funeral, on behalf of Alicia and Owen

From the age of 8 to 21 I lived off Neston Drive in Cinderhill, a few doors up from my Mamma and Grandad. Opposite them lived Colin, Jean, Darren and Emma.

My first memories of Colin were when he would come over to watch the big footy matches with my Grandad, and so started a close family friendship. I remember long conversations over several cups of tea at my mammas discussing the merits of the England team at the time

As a teenager I remember going with him and grandad to watch Forest Home and away, and him being a really good friend to my grandad coming to watch me play football.

I also remember he took me for my first pint in a pub, at the bull and butcher in Bulwell after a training session with Peoples College, think I was 15!

Jean always made us so very welcome, be it a BBQ or one of their news years eve parties.

Leaving school I started an apprenticeship and day release was to be at Peoples College where one of my lecturers was Colin, small world…. He was an extremely popular, knowledgeable teacher.

One of the funniest stories I can remember was when I was sent off playing for Peoples College, and my grandad ran on the pitch to remonstrate with the ref and Colin had to escort him off! My grandad was told to leave the side of the pitch, this left us with 10 men and no fans!

Colin was my Football Manager, Cricket team mate, Lecturer, someone I looked up to growing up, but most of all he was my friend – anything he did he tried to-do the right way, a trait I try and carry with me to this day and one I am trying to instil into my boys.

We miss you Colin x Love to Jean, Darren, Emma and family x

After coming out the Army 36 years ago instead of returning to GODS COUNTRY [ Yorkshire ] as I used to refer to Colin i settled down in Nottingham. As I was keen on football I signed for a team called Peoples College and therefore met a certain person called Colin Spencer who wore a combat Jacket and drove a Morris Minor with all its wood trimmings. In my eyes Peoples College was Colin Spencer, we had success over the years at the club, but I like to think as with many others, it was not just football, we were all good friends and socialised with each other throughout all the teams in the club, some of us today still keep in touch with each other and that was down to Colin. It was not just football, when I had a few personal problems, Colin and his lovely wife Jean were there to listen, and by god I chewed there ears off. In the middle Nineties I moved back up to Yorkshire, and i got married again, we still kept in touch but not as often as we should have done, which I count as my loss. So Colin came up with the idea that when Notts play Yorks at the T20s at cricket we would do Trent Bridge one year and Headingley the other year, now the story is I liked a bet with Colin and I never won, that is correct ! in fact one game years ago, Forest were playing Bratford City in the cup at Bratford, Forest were 4-0 by half time, bet lost ! then last year me and the lads went to the cricket match and Yorks beat Notts my first victory and I bet Colin was looking down with a smile on his face and saying, you have won the game Steve, but you ain"et getting a fiver ! Besides the cricket Colin and Jean liked walking so once a year me and Lisa would meet them at Whitby with other friends for a few laughs some walking and some decent beer which I always reminded Colin what Yorkshire had. To sum up about Colin Spencer, am a better person for meeting him , he was an honest and decent person, he had the skill to motivate people wether it was on the football pitch or in the classroom at Peoples College where am sure some of his pupils have gone on to greater things in there lives, and he always had time for you if you wanted a quiet chat. As normal at the future cricket matches we attend we will raise a glass to you. I miss you Colin but i and like everyone else who had the pleasure to know you, NEVER FOGOTTEN, R.I.P. Colin x

From Peter Linley:
I would like to say that Colin was the best man I have ever met. True inspiration in team building, motivating over a managerial career that span over a life time of memories, wearing a smile I will never forget. Love you Spenno.

Little did I know that what seemed an insignificant conversation 32 years ago about football would have such a lasting impact on my life. It's been a year since my dear friend Colin left us & not a day goes by without a flashing memory reminding me of him......it might be football, cricket ,or just hearing someone trying to give sound advice just how he used to !!!!
So many people owe so much to Colin.....the time he spent with all of us had a lasting impression on the men we became today. He never commanded respect but earned it from you in his own way...his ability to judge people was second to none.
They say times a great healer but I prefer to think that you just learn to cope better & I do that remembering all the good times mate.....be it the football, cricket or you trying to convince me to take up golf !!! The legacy you left behind is all lasting & we will all try to conduct ourselves in the way you would have wanted and try to maintain the standards you set.
Some people struggle to have one father figure in their lifetime but I feel so privileged to have had 2 & that's the greatest accolade I can pay. Miss the txt's saying we need to sort this or that.....or the calls saying we need to do something regarding the footy club but more importantly I miss the laughs & advice mate.
It doesn't matter how many words I read or write it never quite seems enough so thanks for everything dear friend.Rest in peace.xx

I first met Colin over 40 years ago, we had gone out one Saturday night to our local pub ( the Gondola ) at balloon woods, there were no seats to be had, on the far side sat a young couple (Colin & Jean) my wife said that's jean who I see at playgroup where our son Nick and Colin & Jeans daughter Emma went, Colin gestured us to come over and made room where we squeezed in, after polite introductions Colin turned to me and said do you follow football !!!! the rest is history, I could fill a book with the things we did from that day onwards, days fishing, holidays, family days out , and not least football whether it was watching forest or playing for peoples college, he was my closest and dearest friend and like many others miss him terribly and often things happen in my life and I think to myself I'l tell Spenno about that only to realise I no longer can, my life is sadder for that, my life was richer for meeting Colin and I can say with my hand on my heart that all my memories of him are happy ones ,

I am a man of few words at the best of times but I still find it hard to believe (and sometimes accept) one of my best friends, Colin Spencer, left us suddenly almost a year ago. They say time is a great healer but the best thing about time is that it allows you to reflect on the joys of a great friendship. Colin was part of my life in many ways from the first day I met him (through my cousin Sanjeev), when I was 19 years old. Never looked back since that day and will continue to look forward now in his memory.......we had great laughs no matter what we did, football, cricket, golf, eating fine curries and the odd drink of the finest ales! He was a great person, a true gentleman and a loving father, brother and husband........Colin, you will remain in my memory until that day we eventually meet again.........and then share a pie and a pint after playing a round of golf, or two!

A TRUE FRIEND IS HARD TO FIND.......THEY ARE RARE AND ONE OF A KIND.............I DONT CARE IF I HAD ONLY A FEW.........AT LEAST I HAD THE PLEASURE OF ONE OF THE BEST IN YOU........ COLIN SPENCER. I MISS YOU MY DEAR FRIEND

What can I say about Colin? He was a true family man who's family extended beyond his beloved Jean, Darren, Emma and grandchildren, to those he welcomed into the fold at Peoples College F.C. Putting an arm around you or giving you a bit of friendly stick as he saw fit. And while standing on the touchline as manager he almost made army jackets fashionable again! An honest, genuine friend who will be sadly missed. Rest well mate and I'll catch up with you one day - I'll bring my boots!
- Mick "Whits"

Colin, the last time that we met at your house for dinner I arted to tell you how much I admired and respected the way you lived your life. I really thought that you were living your life to the full and what a great husband, father and friend you were. You found hearing praise about yourself difficult to take so we reverted to banter. Banter had been our main form of communication since our days at college. It was easy to hide behind. I should have continued to tell you what a great guy you were, but I only told you part of it. Sorry mate.

I have known Colin since I was 11 years old, when he met my sister Jean. I have many happy memories over the years, as our lives were always closely linked, he was very special to me and I loved him like a brother.

I was a bridesmaid at their wedding, I would have been 13 or maybe 14 at the time and loved every minute of it. Jean made her own wedding dress and Keith helped her with the cake. I now wonder, if that was the first wedding cake Jean ever made.

I remember when Emma was born, when they still lived at Clifton. I travelled over on the bus to see them all, my first time that way no doubt.

Colin helped teach me to drive many moons ago, allowing me to drive their then Moggy Minor, on a trip up the A1. Not the road it is today I have to say, many roundabouts, with not many Motorway stretches. It was on this trip, I learnt the difference between stopping at 30 miles per hour and stopping at 60 miles per hour. Colin shouting, brake, brake, brake, louder each time. I did eventually brake in time but I stalled the car engine. The problem was, it didn't have a starter motor, Colin had to get out of the car, in the middle of the stationary traffic to start the car with the starter handle. I recall one lorry driver shouting something at him, but as always Colin gave some banter back and wasn't at all embarrassed by it, he just saw the funny side.

We all know how much football meant to Colin, well I can brag, I kept him away from a finals match at Wembley Stadium. I had a family party at home the evening before, Colin having much to drink and late to bed, didn't get up in time for the bus the following morning. Oh Dear!!! We did all get to Wembley though for a football final. Unsure whether it was before or after that time, but we went to see Rainworth Miners Welfare play, 1982, lads I went to school with, playing on Wembley pitch, unfortunately we lost. Dam!!

Wembley was also the venues for concerts we all went to, both Arena and Stadium. Colin, Jean and I had a day in London before an evening at the Arena rocking to Billy Joel. The Stadium was the place we saw Queen in 1986, the Magic Tour, what a brilliant day that was. Colin drove down, I offered to drive back, but no, he was alright, until suddenly he pulled off the motorway and asked me to drive. Within minutes he was asleep in the back and all the others too. Another special memory was seeing the Drifters at Jacksdale, would you believe that, and Hot Chocolate in Birmingham. These were the start of many concerts Colin attended, he loved his music and his tastes were very varied.

So a happy life went on with many trips, walks, family parties and holidays, all with much laughter, lots of love and sometimes a little sadness. As the years went by, holidays became a massive love of Colin's, he was always talking of his holiday fund, every small win he had on the premium bonds always went into his holiday fund. I had the great pleasure of going on holiday to Italy with Colin & Jean in 1992. Where one evening Colin and I had a big debate on the difference between working tolerances in the metal industry, verses the sewing industry. Colin not believing it was right to have cm allowances instead of the mm allowances as in metal work. Colin ever the perfectionist. Italy was the start of our saying " Luke Spook" which was said down some lonely back street , while visiting Assisi and Colin learnt his first Italian words " Due Berra grande" two large beers. When he panicked that the barman was only pouring two glasses which were far to small for Colin. We went on to touring America, then to the Atlanta Olympic games. Such a brilliant holiday. Then to Australia and the Sydney Olympic games, where Colin taught me a lesson in getting the quietest of people to talk. We had the grumpiest taxi driver ever, on the way from the airport, but Colin eventually got him talking. I can't remember the subject, but it was Colin's belief, that there was always something that everyone wanted to talk about, it was just a matter of finding it. But then that was Colin, a big believer in all people, he had a big heart and a big personality and it's a lesson I still use today and always will.

Colin was very dear to me, I will miss him always, he has left a massive crater in our lives and I feel devastated for my sister Jean, their love and life was very special and it breaks my heart to see her so upset and hurting. I am always thinking of his children Emma, Darren and their families and how much they too are missing their dad and grandad, he was a great man who was a privilege to know. Love you always Colin
Love Doreen

In memory of Colin, a true friend.

Almost a year has passed since Colin was taken from us so suddenly but memories of him are as strong as and meaningful ever. They are changing however, from being sad and unbelieving at his passing, to those that tend to make one smile when particular situations take you back to him or you encounter something that you know he would have appreciated, a good golf shot or a finer point about the day's football topic. This is a good thing as a steadfast friend such as Colin deserves to be remembered in happy thoughts, and for me, he always will. Rest in peace Colin.

Well where do I start.I still can't believe that you are no longer with us. We will never forget you. We've had lots of special family times and a really great time in Australia . You're irreplaceable and someone who was taken far to soon . Thank you for being you and for everything you did for us all. God Bless Colin.

From Jean:

28th March 2015 started like many other Saturdays, but ended like no other, when Colin was snatched away with no warning,a little more than 2 hours after he left home, seemingly fit and well. His loss, as you may imagine, has left a gaping chasm in my life.

It's been, at times, an unbearably long year, full of tears, but also memories of many happy times over our 49 years together. There have also been a few times, amazingly to me, over the past year when some more happy memories have been made, albeit with a hint of sadness.

It's been a huge help to me to know that Colin's loss was felt keenly too, by the many people he had met during his working and social life. He would have been surprised but also pleased by how many of you came to pay your last respects, how many of you were so shocked and saddened by his sudden passing. I don't think Colin would have been surprised though by how many of you have been so kind and supportive to me and my immediate family. You have been truly amazing.

I want to thank all the very many friends and family who have helped me over the past year, always saving me from the awful crippling grief that threatened to overwhelm me at times. A lot of you were willing and crucially able to go the extra mile. You know who you are and I am and always will be eternally grateful. It's said that time is a great healer, but it certainly helps enormously, to feel surrounded by the love of people who care, during that time of healing.

Finally a few words to Colin:- You always did want to impact upon people's lives, to make a difference, to be remembered. You certainly acheived that!
You where a principled, strong man, who loved people, enjoyed life and wasn't afraid to embrace it. A unique and special person to me, unforgettable and irreplacable. You'll always be in my heart and thoughts, remembered with all my love forever. I'm everything I am because you loved me and thanks for the memories my darling.

A top top bloke, the best, couldn't believe it when I first heard the news, always had a smile on his face, always encouraged me on the football field, spoke real words of wisdom, will be deeply missed by all that knew him Rip Colin will always remember u, craigyboy

So sorry to hear you've passed away Colin you were a true gent and such a cheeky chappy. A brilliant tutor who inspired me from being a little off the rails at 16 to having an avid interest in engineering. I came to you once as a 17 year old fed up where I was working and the following week you'd set me up an interview at a top company. I owe you so much, can't believe you were taken so soon. God bless you my friend, Gaz.