Marilyn Lineker (9 May 1946 - 2 Jul 2019)

I want my nanny more then anything right now, i just want you so badly. i miss your hugs and your voice and it worried me that i’ll forget it. i wish i could have one more conversation with you, for you to tell me that you love me and you’re proud of me. that’s all i could ever want. i want to make you proud and to know that you love me.
5 years ago i wished i held you tighter, i can remember when we had our last proper hug without you being in your bed and that pains me. i just wanna be in your arms again irritating and cackling at grandad, back when things were happy. it’s been awful, especially recently when i’ve left school but realised you never saw me start it and i had prom yesterday and it didn’t go very well but i know you would of made me happier and helped mum get me ready. i just want you back nanna so badly. i’ve been messaging your phone and it kills to see the not delivered sign. i wish you could see this.
i don’t knke how to move past loosing you and grandad and it hurts more and more everyday without you by my side. i just want to feel your love again. there’s so much i want to tell you about but i know ill never get an answer and i can barely listen to our song because im sitting waiting for you to sing but it never comes.
i miss you so much nanny more then anything in this world . thank you for being in my life although it was short lived and should of lasted many lifetimes but i’ll meet you in the next one. i pinky promise

Can't believe it's been 5 years since I last saw you. Sometimes I still forget your not here and think of ringing you and dad. I miss you every single day and always remember things that you used to say to me. I miss your advice even tho I didn't always take it lol. You have always been the bravest person I've ever met, and despite being ill you never lost your beautiful smile. I've got married to the most amazing man, you and dad would love him and he looks after me the way you would want me looked after. There's so much I want to tell you, I've often needed your advice and wise words over these past 5 years, you always knew what to say. I like to think you'd be proud of me for the decisions I've made.
Even though your not here in person I often see a white feather and know your still here watching over me. On your birthday 3 beautiful white feathers fell past the front window and I knew it was you and dad sending a message that your still here.

Just want you to know how very much I love and miss you, not only today but always ❤️

Just wanted you to know mum that I miss you and dad every single day. It’s harder today on your anniversary but it hurts every day that you’re not still here. I’ve needed your advice and guidance and probably more than a little bit of your straight talking words over the last few months. I just miss my mum. I wish I was the strong brave mum you were. I hear you in my head every day but it’s not the same as having you here. I hope I haven’t let you down. I love you mum xx

Hi nan,
It's 1:30am and I can't sleep, and I guess it's kinda strange to think it's been five years today.
No matter how much time passes or how much changes, it never really seems real.
It's funny because there are so many things that I look back on and feel like I took them for granted. I always enjoyed yours and grandads company, but I feel like I should have taken the time to appreciate you both more.
I miss everything about you both. The sleepovers at yours. Fruit salad drenched in cream - I'm sure it was your attempt to get us to eat something healthy! Days spent watching Primeval and Ferngully. Birthday buffets. Decorating your house at Christmas. Playing with that toy castle and the little knights. Sneakily eating grandads shredded wheats. Riding our bikes around the garden. Filling a washing up bowl with water and dragging our wet feet across the paving slabs. You making me food parcels when I'd come home from uni.
I miss being able to tell you all the things I've been doing, and chatting to you about what you've been up to. I suppose sending yet another a text that I'll never get a reply to does help - it's not the same.
I'd like to think you'd be proud of all of us for everything that we've all done in the past five years. It just hurts knowing you weren't here to be with us through it.
I love you both so much, and I miss you both every single day.
Love you always 🩷xx

I miss you today, tomorrow and always Nan.. 🤍💜

Hi nanny, I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I guess it’s just for closure and hope that you can read this and the fact I miss talking to you.
Guess what nanny, I’ve got a boyfriend, he’s lovely and you would of loved him.
Im in a friend group that loves me and looks after me.
Im sitting my GCSEs this year and I’m really scared. I wish I could hear you cheering me on, I don’t want to sit them, im too scared that I won’t do you proud. I hope I make you proud, I know I’ve not been the best daughter recently especially when mummy is struggling but I hope you can forgive me.
I just want my nanny here.
I just want you back.
I want my happiness back.
My hope and braveness that was once shown in you.
Oh god how I miss you.
I love you eternally don’t ever ever for a minute doubt that. I’ll never ever forget you.
Until we meet again my lovely nanny ❤️

hi nanny,
i really flipping miss you.
i know you’d tell me off for saying that so im sorry but i just want my nanny back. i just want a cuddle from you that’s all i want. i wanna be in your arms and you telling me it’s going to be okay and feeding me scones with the cream we made. i think god was so cruel to take you from me. i will never forgive him for that. i hope you won’t forget me. i love you nanny

i need you now more then ever before nanny

Nan,
I really wish you were here yesterday to be part of mums special day, it’s so unfair that you and grandad aren’t here anymore.
Mum looked beautiful, and she’s so happy and I wish you was here to see that.
I hope you had a little boogey up there last night with us and dragged grandad up haha.
Love you always nan
You’ll always live on in our memory, hearts🤍

I miss you so much mum xx

I miss you Nan,
And will always do so.
Until we meet again🤍

Mum just can't believe it's been 4 years since we lost you. Life will never be the same again. Miss all the buffets we used to have at yours, miss our days at herne Bay and even the times that uou used to pull my tops up round my neck lol. If I had ever known that was thr last day I would ever seen you I would never have gone home but I know deep down you wouldn't have wanted me or any of your children or grandchildren with uou, only dad. Miss you so very much and would give anything to see you once again and say all the things I wanted to say. Love you mum always and forevermore xxxxx

My Beautiful Nanny,
This time 4 years ago you grew your wings!

Receiving the phone call that would change our life’s forever, I miss you everyday Nan.

Life just isn’t the same anymore without you and gramps in it, I miss calling you over the silliest little things.

There’s so much i wish you both could have been here to see, I hope I’m making you both proud!

I wonder if there was anything else I could have done, said. I hope that you know how much I loved you both. I would do anything for just one more conversation and a cuddle! I miss your smile, and just being able to come and see you both.

I love you Nan,
Never forget that, you will always be a part of me, until the day we meet again my angel. The brightest star in the sky my Nanny!🤍🤍

Hi nan,
Feels surreal to say it’s been four years since we lost you, I still think about you and gramps every day and I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking about you and missing you. It hurts to know that two of the most important people in my life aren’t here anymore, and it’s something I’ve still not come to terms with. I miss coming back to Kent and making sure the first thing I did was see you both, I miss having cups of tea whilst we watched Primeval or that weird alien programme neither of us could ever remember the name of, I miss you piling me full of food every time I saw you, I miss your smile, I miss everything. Ever since we lost you both it’s like nothing has really made sense or felt okay, some days I guess it’s easier to hide that away than others, but on days like today it’s hard not to let it show through. You taught me so much and you were my biggest supporters through everything - even when I made stupid questionable decisions - and I don’t think I ever expected I’d be living in a world without you in it. I wish with all my heart that I would be able to spend one more day with you both, not doing anything particularly fancy, just the same as we used to. I wish I could hear your voices, could talk to you, even that I could have you tell me off one last time. It isn’t fair that you aren’t here. It isn’t fair that there’s so much I want to say to you, and all I can do is write it here and hope and wish that somehow, you’ll see it - or you’ll know what I’m thinking. I love you so much and I miss you more than I think I could ever explain. The one good thing is that I‘m glad that you’re both together, and I know that would mean that you’re both happy, even if you do have to put up with granddad’s terrible snoring! I just wish you were together but still with us all. I love you always nan ❤️

I can’t believe it’s been four years mum when it hurts just as much today as it did back then. I miss you every single day and I always will mum. I wish we had known that was to be our last time with you, I would never have left your side. I love you mum, I always will. I can only cope knowing that you and dad are together, as you should be, you belong together and as much as it breaks my heart I know that’s the way it had to be. God bless mum xx

My Beautiful Nan,
Todays your birthday and I wish more than anything we could have celebrated it with you!
No birthdays, Christmas will ever be the same without you..
You are honestly the bravest, strongest most beautiful person, no matter what life threw at you, not once did you give up.. I hope it’s lovely and sunny up there today and you’re eating lots of cake and have a Buffett. I love you Nan, I always have and always will..
Until we meet again,
The brightest star in the sky,
My Nan✨💗

Happy birthday nan, I hope that wherever you are the sun is shining and grandad is spoiling you rotten. I miss you more than words can say, so many things have changed since you left us and I wish more than anything that I could have the chance to sit down with you and tell you all about everything. I really hope you’d be proud of all of us. I love you so much and I would give anything to be able to spend today with you; chatting away with a cup of tea, preparing a buffet and all enjoying each other’s company. You and grandad were the focal point of the entire family, and not a day passes where I don’t think of you or miss you both. You always have three best advice and you always made me smile and I am so grateful for both of you.

I love you so much.

Happy birthday ❤️

Happy birthday mum, thinking of you today as I do everyday. Miss you so so much and your sound advice. My heart is still broken and always will be. Forever in my heart I love you so very much xxx