Derek Ronald Hayden (8 Jul 1930 - 12 Feb 2019)

In loving memory of Derek Ronald Hayden who sadly passed away on 12th February 2019

Born in Dagenham on 8th July 1930 to Aida and Alfred Hayden, Derek Ronald Hayden was one of 5 children. Eileen and Edna from Aida's first marriage to Alfred English, and Alfred and Bet from Aida's second marriage with Alfred Hayden.

Derek was just 8 years old when WW2 broke out. During this time he spent a lot of time at home instead of at school and it was during these years that he learned from his father Alf (who himself lost three fingers during World War 1), the skills that he used throughout his life to help both his family and his friends.

Derek spent his teen years in the family home in Trehearn Road, Hainault. After the war, Derek did an apprenticeship with Mallets, a surgical instruments maker near the Green Man in Barkingside. Derek met his future wife, Joyce at the local pub, The Old Maypole, in 1950.

Although Derek had managed to avoid National Service due to his apprenticeship, he finally had to start it, so on the 26th of December 1952, Joyce and Derek married and they moved into a room at Joyce’s mum’s house. It was during his National Service that, one fateful night returning to the camp on his motor bike, he had a motorcycle accident, breaking his collar bone and giving his loved ones quite a scare.

Joyce stayed with her mum whilst Derek did his National Service but when he came home, they bought their own home. Their first home was a brand new bungalow in Brentwood. It cost them fifteen hundred pounds with a fifty pound deposit which they couldn’t afford, so the estate agent loaned them the deposit!

In time two sons came along to complete this branch of the family, Adam first in 1965 and then Lee in 1968. When Derek’s mum became ill, the family moved into a big house at 114 Beattyville Gardens, Barkingside so that Derek’s mum could live with them.

In the time from the 50s to the late 70's whilst Derek and Joyce were living in Hainault, Brentwood and Barkingside, families lived much closer to each other and at Christmas time there would always be a big party with the family altogether. Christmas Eve was Aida's birthday, Burt and Edna would always throw a party, and of course, Boxing Day was Derek and Joyce's Anniversary. There would be singsongs and everyone would choose a song to sing.

The family enjoyed many family holidays and it wasn’t just the family. Many other members of the family and friends would get together and go to holiday camps including Clacton and Bognor. There was also a memorable holiday in Scotland when the boys were young, where the adults went for a walk around Loch Lomond and some ended up sinking into a bog!

Apart from Derek's wife and soulmate, Joyce, he did have another love....... Arsenal FC! Derek has been a massive fan of The Gunners all his life. In the years before his boys wee born, he would go off to see home matches at Highbury with a group of lads including John Scarlett, his cousin Keith Wright, and sometimes Arthur, packing them into his Thames van and later a Ford Consul... Later he would take his sons to Highbury, passing on the legacy!

Derek continued to work for Mallets until 1980 when he was made redundant due to closure in the face of competition from China. In January, 1981 the family relocated to Beccles in Suffolk, where Derek and Joyce helped with the running of the Fleece Inn (Beccles) for a year, which was run by his sister, Eileen and brother-in-law, Ken Carter. Eventually they bought a house in Bungay and went to work for Bernard Matthews.

Adam began work for a pallet firm, marrying at the age of nineteen. Derek and Joyce continued to support their children whilst Lee finished school and sixth form.

Derek decided to take a voluntary redundancy from Bernard Matthews in 1989 and started his own self-employed business as a multi-skilled painter, decorator and all-round handyman serving the local community. He was always immensely skilled being able to turn his hand to anything practical - a legacy that he passed on to his first son, Adam who used to help him during those years.

Over the next years, Adam gave Derek and Joyce three grandchildren, whom they loved and cherished, meanwhile Lee left to attend University in Nottingham and eventually settled back in London for his job. More recently, Derek became a great grandad. He loved being visited by his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

In later life, when Joyce became less able, Derek lovingly cared for his wife. He was a very generous, caring and devoted husband and father who always put others first and rarely complained (apart from when Arsenal lost a match).

Joyce sadly passed in May, 2014. Derek continued to live at Nursery Close in Belton surrounded by a caring community of neighbours who really helped Derek through the time following the loss of his beloved wife. Lee and Alison finally managed to add Dylan to his collection of grandchildren.

The life of this remarkable, friendly, hardworking, generous and loving man sadly came to an end on February 12th 2019 where he finally slipped away from us at James Paget Hospital after a period of declining health following a series of falls. This is just a snapshot of his life and all of you who read this who have known him will have your own personal memories of this great man. Cherish them, share them, and be consoled that he is now at peace.