In loving memory of Audrey Stella Butler, who sadly passed away on 10th January 2019. Audrey's death was very sudden, caused by acute cardiac failure. Her passing was unexpected and painless. If there's such a thing as a 'good' death, then this is what happened to Audrey.
Audrey Stella Tinkler was born in Malta on 21st September 1948, to Charlie and Kath Tinkler.
When she was three, the family returned to the UK with her younger brother Clive, and were united with her elder half brother Rod, who had stayed with his grand parents when the family went to Malta.
She lived in the beautiful village of East Meon, Kath’s family’s home, and grew up surrounded by her extended family. Although Charlie was often away at sea in the early years, the family was a close and loving one.
She went to the local village school where she excelled and was always popular.
At the age of 9, Charlie was posted to Singapore for three years and the family moved there with him, and took up residence in Serangoon Garden Estate. It was some contrast from the quiet English countryside, but she loved it and it gave her a lifelong love of travelling and sun-drenched sandy beaches.
She attended an RAF military school, Seletar Primary, which was quite a contrast to East Meon, but she soon adapted to the new environment.
After 3 years, the family returned home and bought a house in Clanfield not far from East Meon. Audrey went to Havant Grammar School but after a year, the family were off again to Singapore for another 3 years. After a short period living on the Malayan mainland, the family relocated to Serangoon.
She attended Alexandra Grammar School and St John’s Comprehensive. She discovered a love for languages, studying French, French Literature, German and Spanish at O and A level.
When she was 17, the family returned to Clanfield and she completed her A levels at Havant Grammar.
She also had her first job as a Saturday girl in Woolworths in Petersfield, not a job she had a great passion for but she enjoyed the wages.
After passing her A levels, Audrey obtained a place at King Alfred's Teacher Training College in Winchester where she trained to be a Languages teacher. It is at King Alfred's where she met her best friend, (Sue Purcell) and her future husband Stuart.
On completing her training, she worked for a short time teaching in Portsmouth but soon afterwards, Stuart and Audrey had an amazing opportunity to teach abroad and they set off to live and work for two years in Zambia. This provided them with lots of experience and stories to dine out on for life! It also gave them an affection for the African continent and the people they met there.
After returning from their African adventure Audrey and Stuart settled down in Kent and taught at The Dartford Downs School where they made many lifelong friends. After setting up home in Cliffe Woods, Clare was born in 1978 and Katie soon followed in 1980 to complete their family of four.
After becoming a mother Audrey returned to teaching part-time as a supply teacher. Whilst she enjoyed her career, for Audrey home was where the heart was, and she thoroughly enjoyed making a secure, safe and cozy environment for her family. Anybody who ever visited Audrey would testify that she had great taste, and eye for making a house feel like a home. You never left with an empty stomach either as Audrey was such a good cook.
Although they had moved away from their family homes, they regularly visited Clanfield and Stuart’s family in Portsmouth and Audrey was very close to both families. Family get-togethers were very important, and New Year’s Eve parties with Stuart’s brothers, Terry, Derek, his sister Angie and their families were always a highlight!
After Stuart secured a new job at Brockhill Park school in 1989 Audrey and Stuart, along with the girls, moved to Hythe, on the South East coast and had a very fulfilling family life together. They loved living by the sea and the ease with which they could get across the channel to visit European holiday destinations. They made good friends and enjoyed life together there.
After the girls had grown up and flown the nest Audrey and Stuart decided to retire early and buy a house in Els Poblets in Spain. They loved the sunshine and quality of life it afforded them and were able to share their experience with family and friends alike. They both really appreciated that Sue and John Purcell also had a home in Spain nearby and got to reunite with them on a more regular basis. Both Audrey and Stuart made many friends in Spain and always felt a sense of belonging in the ex-pats community.
They also made the most of their retirement years by visiting incredible holiday destinations such as Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Australia and their favourite, South Africa which Audrey revisited twice in recent years. To say they exceeded the average air miles quota would be an understatement!
After five years of living solely in the Costa Blanca, Stuart and Audrey decided to split their time more equally between the UK and Spain as they missed the ties of family and friends back home. They bought a flat in the village of Wroughton where Clare had set up home with her husband Chris and could also be closer to Katie and Steve.
After Stuart's untimely death in 2013 Audrey managed to rebuild her life and had grown in confidence; although she missed him immensely, she was leading a life packed with fun and adventure, something of which we are very proud. In recent years Audrey lived a life full of family, friendship and travel adventures. She especially enjoyed and appreciated the company of Clive and Ginny, her sister-in-law Son and Sue and John in her travels. In order to fund her jet setting lifestyle, Audrey returned to the world of work at the age of 65 and became an exams invigilator at Commonweal School, this kept her out of mischief but not necessarily out of Clare’s classroom!
Audrey made the most of village life in Wroughton, and had a wonderful network of friends, enjoying coffee, ‘ladies who lunch’ and cinema trips with Janet, Ruth, Pam and Krystyna.
In the last year of her life she had traveled to Paris and Cyprus twice, a variety of Spanish destinations, Italy and Fuerteventura and had lots more expeditions in the pipeline. She loved attending her Spanish group and thrived on the culture and company it opened up to her. Her life in Spain was always a pleasure and she loved nothing better than sitting on the patio in Els Poblets with a glass of vino and a good book (usually a Spanish one!) or catching up with all of her Els Poblets and Denia friends.
Audrey's family was always at the forefront of her mind. Finlay and Orla, her gorgeous grandchildren, were the apple of her eye and she adored them. Her most treasured moments were always times spent in the company of her family but especially her 'little darlings', as she called them, whom she lavished with love.
Audrey was a wonderful Mum, Grandma, Sister, Aunt and friend who meant the world to many people; life just won't be the same without her.
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