Lorna Mary Mills (14 Aug 1946 - 30 Dec 2018)

In loving memory of Lorna Mary Mills who sadly passed away on 30th December 2018

“Warm, caring and loving.” The words on many of the cards received after Lorna passed away spoke much of her kindness and generosity. “A lady who knew her own mind and was not afraid to speak it, but always put others before herself.” How true this was!

Lorna was an early post-war baby and as the first child of her mum and dad she was the ‘apple of their eye’. She was a chubby little girl with masses of curly hair and lots of energy and she certainly didn’t like being told what to do! The family lived with Lorna’s grandparents until just before her sister Adrienne was born, when they moved into a new house a short distance away. The two girls dearly loved their grandparents and often packed a bag and ‘ran away’ to Nanny’s, thinking mum wouldn’t know where they were.

She was almost eight years old when her sister Vanessa was born and she helped her mum look after the baby. Eight year old Lorna did not always appreciate her new role, especially when it came to feeding time.

After two years at secondary school in Rayleigh, Lorna’s mum and dad felt she was getting in with the wrong crowd. Pastimes such as throwing penknives between the feet of her friends may have been the last straw, so against Lorna’s better wishes, she and Adrienne were packed off to boarding school in Fyfield, Essex. Lorna was not particularly academic although she was good at tennis, hockey, running and practical lessons, so school was something to endure rather than enjoy.

On leaving school, Lorna had a several short term jobs in Chelmsford. It was whilst working for the AA that she was asked to go on a blind date by her friend Sue, with Colin and his mate Brian. Colin told Brian that Lorna was blonde and that her father owned a Rolls Royce and Sue told Lorna that Brian was quite a catch as he had a posh car. In truth Lorna was a brunette, her dad had bought the Rolls Royce to sell and Brian had a motorbike. He hadn’t even learned to drive a car. Their fateful first date was at Maldon carnival where, on the Dodgems, the young couple had a twinkle in their eyes and love was born.

During the following months both couples spent a lot of time together and Lorna developed a taste for the ale that Brian drank, so in pubs the round was usually three pints and a ‘Baby-Cham’ for Sue.

Lorna’s dad wasn’t keen on her riding pillion on Brian’s motorbike, so they would meet around the corner where he couldn’t see her being whisked off in a cloud of dust to get up to ‘who knows what’.

Lorna’s dad was a self-employed motor mechanic and car dealer so he taught Lorna to drive early and she passed her test first time at the age of seventeen. On her first outing with her sister Adrienne in one of dad’s cars, the brakes failed and Lorna wet herself. Fortunately, this event wasn’t repeated!

By now, Brian had bought a ‘very posh’ green Ford Popular and Lorna went along while he learned to drive it. They had numerous adventures in that car and once it got stuck in the mud in the dark on Tiptree Heath when they pulled off for a kiss and cuddle. To get the car moving, they had to get branches from some shrubs by torch light to put under the wheels and they were very muddy indeed when they arrived back at Brian’s parents’ house. A rather embarrassed explanation then ensued with a nudge and a wink from Lorna’s future in-laws.

Later on, Lorna got a job with the Marconi Company where Brian worked and they would meet up for lunch and walks. A year or so later, just before Lorna’s 21st birthday, they had already chosen the engagement ring when Brian went down on one knee and popped the question one Sunday afternoon in a park in Rayleigh. They married in October 1967 and bought a new house in Sible Hedingham, Essex and so began a very happy married life.

Such was young love’s passion, their first son Gary was born nine months to the day after their wedding day, and motherhood came to Lorna rather sooner than she may have wished. By her own admission, she wasn’t the most natural of mums and found it quite hard being alone all day with her baby. Soon after Gary was born they acquired a puppy, Rufus, and the baby and dog played well together so things looked up. A second son, Duncan was born two and a half years later. He was so quick arriving there was no time to get to hospital and he was born at home.

Lorna wasn’t afraid of hard work and when Gary started school she did several part time jobs to help with the family funds. Duncan recalls going to the fields on a tractor and trailer when his mum went fruit and potato picking. He always wanted to go where he shouldn’t so Lorna had to have one eye on the spuds and one on Duncan.

Lorna’s early evening escape from the strains of family life in the 1970s was to shut herself away in the lounge to watch Crossroads, her favourite soap at the time. Gary and Duncan were strictly forbidden from entering and Brian went as far as installing an unreachable high level bolt on the shiny green door to prevent unwanted intruders.

In their first years of family life Brian used the only car, which meant Lorna walking to the shops and baby clinic so she soon made friends with other local mums; in particular her near neighbour and lifelong dear friend Brenda and her husband Allen. The Mills and Astell families were very close and didn’t need much excuse to get together including many happy gatherings at Christmas and Lorna and Brenda became like a second mum to each other’s boys.

Despite a coach holiday to Italy in her teens and her long-haul honeymoon flight to the Channel Islands, Lorna was not one for boats and planes. Or indeed steep hills, deep water, tunnels, bridges and lifts. Despite this obviously curtailing any further foreign travel or holidays of wild adventure, many happy times were spent visiting all areas of the UK with family and friends. One night, during a camping holiday in a howling gale, Lorna sat on a rope strung between the corners of the tent frame while Brian was outside frantically knocking in tent pegs. Lorna survived this and other camping disasters with courage and fortitude!

She cared for the wellbeing and achievements of children during her many years working at Hedingham secondary school and Youth and Adult centre. She always felt, perhaps in light of her own school days, that those who were more practical than academic should be allowed to leave at an earlier age and learn the skills of life. She gained a lot of respect from the pupils because of the way she dealt with the wayward ones. If she saw a boy smoking at break time she would approach him casually as though she hadn’t noticed. The offending child would invariably cup the cigarette in their hand and put it into their pocket. She then stood and chatted nonchalantly until the heat forced them to take their hand out.

Lorna devoted many years to supporting the local Cub-Scout pack. As a leader she was the mother hen who took the shy and vulnerable cubs under her wing and encouraged them until they gained confidence.
Her own sons were always encouraged to take up new challenges and being a pianist herself she made sure they learned to play the piano and another instrument. She felt all her efforts were worthwhile when Duncan was selected to play the trombone in the Essex Youth Orchestra and Brass Ensemble. She and Brian were overjoyed when both the boys went to University but she also worried if they were feeding themselves properly.

Lorna was also very caring with older people and helped to run a ‘Living and Learning’ club at the Adult Centre. She learned to play dominos with two of the elderly gentlemen, who loved her to bits.

Brian and Lorna’s shared pastimes included family history, gardening (though for Lorna not the dirt as she called it), theatre and concert visits, the local trad-jazz club and the folk dance club. Lorna always said that she couldn’t ballroom dance with Brian “because they both had two left feet” but folk dancing was different as you were often changing partners during a dance and at their club no-one bothered if you turned the wrong way and messed it all up. It just caused a big laugh.

In recent years Lorna’s main interest was card making with a small group of friends who made increasingly detailed and intricate cards to sell to raise money for Macmillan Nurses. She enjoyed being creative and making unusual cards which were admired by her family and friends.

A new joy came along in 2005 when her first grandchild Elsa was born and Lorna couldn’t wait to get to the hospital and have a cuddle. Over the next two years Elsa spent many happy Friday afternoons with her grandparents and Lorna loved reading stories to her. In 2007 another bundle of joy, Adela, was born and was given the same loving care. Lorna loved going to see them perform at football, gymnastics, school plays and at the theatre. She was delighted to encourage them playing the piano, trumpet and violin and loved listening to them playing their latest pieces.

When Duncan, Helena and the girls moved to Louth there was much soul searching as to whether or not to move as well to be close to the family. After a year the decision was made and three years ago, after forty-eight years in their family home, Lorna and Brian moved to Louth too. Thanks to wonderful neighbours they soon felt at home and Lorna was so pleased to host an enjoyable summer get together in their garden last year. Lorna and Brian also celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary with their family in 2017.

Lorna very much wanted to see her two granddaughters Elsa and Adela grow up to become young ladies.
Sadly, she will not be able to do that. Lorna was happy with the simple pleasures of pottering around her home and enjoying the garden. Sunday mornings with the Archers Omnibus and Desert Island Discs will never quite be the same again. We will all miss her very much.