Dawn Buck (28 Sep 1970 - 3 Sep 2018)

In loving memory of Dawn Buck who sadly passed away on 3rd September 2018.

Born in Lincoln County Hospital on 28th September 1970, as a child Dawny lived ay 29 Matlock Drive in North Hykeham, Lincoln with her Mum Christine, Dad John and younger brother Lee. When she was 19 she went to live with her Nana for a year who Dawn loved to bits.

After attending Fosse Way primary and Robert Pattinson secondary schools, she went to college and passed her secretarial skills course before embarking in the big wide world of work. Firstly for a brief period for BT as a Direct Enquiries call girl, I mean call taker!, she then went on to work at two local estate agents. At the second of these, GA Properties, is where she met her best friend Helen. After a few years there and having both being made redundant at the same time together, which ended up being the best thing to happen to them, they decided to start their next adventure in the Big Smoke (aided by the lure of two London boys!). They eventually moved to London, and rented together properties in Enfield and later Barnet. Dawn then decided to take the plunge and purchase her first property at 10 Artesian Grove, a top floor ("penthouse"!) 2-bed flat, and Helen ended up renting the other room.

In London, Dawn went to work for Barclays in the square mile and worked as a PA for John Varley (who became the head of the whole of Barclays) and then latterly in the HR team. She enjoyed weekends out clubbing and having fun out in London with Helen and her other friends such as Jen, Liz, Tracy etc and sampled all its delights, having a real love of dance music of the early 90's era and dancing / raving all night long. Gigs were attended with Helen - Take That, Oasis and Robbie Williams. She was a party girl yet never needed alcohol to have a good time. That love of dancing and having a good time lasted all throughout her life, the life and soul of a party given half a chance and always ready to dance on tables!

After 13 years in London, Dawn then got with Neil (her "Toyboy", him being 3 years younger, although that didn't matter as she loved the fact she always looked so much younger for her age anyway, as did Neil!) and onto the next chapter of her life....after he plucked up the courage at the bar to tell her he fancied her in the Centurion pub in Hykeham on NYE 2003. Her nickname became Sweet Cheeks for obvious reasons. Later tattooed for the wedding day on Neils a*se as a joke! They went out on their first date to the cinema (watched Love Actually) on 2nd Jan, and from that point forward were together for the next 14 years, right up to her death.

After 9 months and an exciting but long distance relationship, with many great weekends spent together seeing the sights in London, Dawn was ready to leave the big smoke and after much pining by Neil for them to be together one way or the other, she sold her flat for a tidy profit and moved back to Lincoln.

After a few months she got a job as a Secretary at Siemens, firstly in the legal department. She loved that and after her boss Hiral left she became a PA to a few Directors and MD which she also enjoyed. She eventually ended up a Team Secretary in the HR Dept so I guess her career had come full circle. She remained at Siemens up until her death, making many friends there over the years with her friendly personality, wide smile and caring nature. Beautiful inside and out.

A few months later in Dec 2004, they brought their first home together at 12 The Ropery in Lincoln city centre which they loved the location of, enjoying all town had to offer. After 3 years there they opted for a more "family'-friendly" house when starting a family was the next stage of life for the couple. In Jan 2008 they moved into their current home, 20 Lotus Court back in Hykeham. March 2008, saw Deefer the black lab arrive first - who Dawn loved very much from Day 1.

After 2 long years of trying for a baby and on the verge of IVF, Dawn announced she was pregnant - the best moment of her life, she was so so happy and loved being a "yummy mummy" as Neil used to call her. Nine months later, on 13th May 2010 Sophie Ann Buck came long and change Dawns world forever. That was definitely the best moment of her life. The best gift she ever presented to Neil - the gift that keeps on giving. Sophie certainly has the style, strength and independence of her Mum and likes to give her Dad grief every now and then so she's definitely a chip off the old block! Dawn was so proud of her, loved her beyond words and relished doing all the things Mums do with their daughters - the hair, dressing her in nice clothes and so on.

Sadly only a few short months later her Mum Christine sadly passed away from cancer and Sophie was her Mums salvation and kept her going, cruelly over the weekend of her 40th Birthday. Little did Dawn know at that horrible time that Neil has been planning for months to propose to Dawn on her 40th birthday, so plans were put on hold temporarily.

In Oct 2010, in a swish hotel room in Edinburgh, Neil plucked up the courage with the big question "do you want to get spliced"?! Dawn thankfully said "Yes" to the slightly unconventional question (probably not knowing what spliced meant!)!! The wedding was on 25th August at the tiny but beautiful church in Aubourn, with the reception being held in a marquee in the The Royal Oak pub garden. She said that was the second best moment of her life and was so happy and truly radiant that day. A few days later a short honeymoon in Positano on the Italian Amalfi coast gave her and Neil a brief taste of the highlife and although it was a short stay it was very much cherished and will always remembered as being the most amazing break they had together.

Holidays (and short breaks - mainly pre-Sophie!) were always a highlight to look forward to and enjoy during the 14 years Dawny was with Neil - memorable ones include our first holiday in Cyprus, a villa in Portugal and the Maldives in 2009. Short breaks included Ibiza, Dublin and Amsterdam (which was so much fun in so many ways!) and Paris and Disneyland at New Year 2006. We sadly never got to experience the Big Apple New York together but Dawn had already been to NYC with Helen to visit her friend Tracy. However, the best holidays were to come with Sophie; her first holiday in Portugal, then there was Menorca, Tenerife and Gran Canaria plus our UK staycations to Cornwall and to our fave place at Wells-Next-the-Sea in Norfolk. However, by far the 2 best and most memorable ones we shared as a family were our special trips to see Santa in Lapland and our amazing 2-week holiday to Disney World in Orlando, Florida in April, only 5 months ago. We were so lucky with what we saw and did on holiday over the years but those two were very special and the last one was clearly meant to be I think before Dawny sadly got too ill to do anything else. It was after our last fave UK holiday in Wells last Summer that she noticed pains in her bum, blood in the pan etc and put it down to other common things, "womens stuff" and all that. In hindsight, near the end when she was suffering the most, she said so wished she had gone and got checked out earlier at that time as it may have helped get an earlier diagnosis and prevented the anal cancer that ultimately killed her. [Note: Hindsight is a wonderful thing and anything to do with that personal area of the body is embarrassing to most people so she kept putting it off, like many others do sadly. However, if I can give anyone any advice, please don't be embarrassed - getting checked out for 30 seconds is a far better option than potentially suffering and dying of cancer and leaving your loved ones behind, which hurt Dawn in the end more I think than the physical pain.]

Illness had always played a major part in Dawns life and she extraordinarily didn't let it get her down. She accepted the situation and tried to get on with it as positively and as normal as it would allow. Her rare Wegeners granulomatosis condition was diagnosed at age 25 (in her case it caused a narrowing of the throat, which affected her breathing ability) and a suppressed immune system meant she had to be on steroids every day from then on and had many serious operations almost yearly to widen her throat so she could breath properly again. She sadly missed her Best Friend Helen's wedding in the first September we were together for one of her most serious operations. She put herself first on that occasion but she really was so upset she had missed her BFF special big day. She was treated for over 22 years by her amazing and caring London doctors - Professor David D'Cruz at Guys Hospital and Gavin Morrison, both of whom she thought a lot of and appreciated their expertise along the way over the years, right up to the end. Hence, she did well on the few occasions she could do any exercise and her trim figure luckily meant she didn't need to exercise that much really anyway! But she simply did her best and although she couldn't drink much alcohol due to the steroids etc, she didn't need it to enjoy herself anyway thankfully. But it's fair to say her ongoing illnesses did affect normal life and it wasn't easy for her (or me at times) at all, yet she just carried on without moaning. A few years ago she also got skin cancer that was thankfully quickly diagnosed and treated and simply just got on with it, the numerous scars on her body were her tell tale signs. In fact her throat scars from the wegeners ops were one reason why she started wearing scarves and it became such a "look" for her every where she went. In 2012 she very nearly died from a serious infection and spending many weeks in hospital (leaving Neil to look after 2 yr old Soph, which he did quite well until he severed his tendons in his thumb opening a can of tuna and had to manage with one hand for weeks!) But she somehow pulled through that to be able get married just a few months later and look stunning. She also nearly died of sepsis during the 5 month cancer battle too. Again she somehow battled through that and overcome it with amazing strength although it clearly had took it's toll on her in the long run and didn't help the fight. So was pretty much an Iron Lady as I started calling her! But she was no Maggie Thatcher - Dawny was far better looking!

The last few months of her life, after the amazing Disney World trip in Orlando Florida, were absolutely torrid with constant pain and she suffered greatly at the hands of anal cancer, which spread aggressively to her liver and cut short her life way too soon. She never returned to work after holiday and only managed to leave the house once in the first week back - only to see Sophie being presented with a certificate at school - she was in agony and only out for 30mins but she wanted to go for Sophie. That was the only time she left the house for anything else other than for medical appointments and the long hospital stays, which hurt so much as it meant I couldn't take her anywhere for a trip out or even a meal to cheer her up. It was so cruel to her mentally and physically (having to have a stoma fitted to try and ease the pain) and she just didn't deserve it at all. However in the last few weeks she showed such an amazing positive mental attitude ("PMA") and accepted her fate with such bravery and courage she was incredible. She was simply amazing and sticking two fingers up to the cancer, despite everything. I will ensure that Sophie knows how strong her Mum was and she will hopefully be able to use that knowledge as her own inspiration. Dawn was sorry to have to leave us behind, again showing she cared for us more than herself. Ironically, I think we both agreed that those last few weeks of our relationship contained some of the best, and most cherished times with all the love and tenderness and words we spoke to each other and for that I'll forever be grateful. It was on a whole new level.

The St Barnabas Hospice team really looked after her in the last 3 weeks (she never got home as we intended except for 4 precious hours one Sunday afternoon) and treated her with compassion and a level of care which is off the scale. They do everything possible to make such a desperate time as nice and acceptable as possible for the patient and their wider family. It really is a special place that I now hold dear to me. They even let us bring our dog Deefer in to see her on the last day she was well enough (Fri 31st Aug) and little did we then know then that was the last time we would all be together as a family of 4. But it was a cherished moment that they allowed us to share together. As a result of their good work, donations to St Barnabas Hospice would be very much appreciated instead of flowers at the funeral so that some good can come of our terrible loss.

What was Dawn like as a person, wife and Mum? Here's just a few of the memories I have (but please feel free to share some of your own about her on this website, as me and Sophie would love to read them):

She really was a beautiful person, inside and out, very sociable and wanting to be with friends or family whenever possible. She was always positive and enthusiastic and was always happy and willing to help others. She had a big infectious smile, always on display. She loved to dance when on a night out, right from a young age - she even wanted to be a Pan's People Dancer on Top of the Pops! She liked a glass of fizz and many photo's show her raising a glass with her wide smile on show. She was a born worrier and always wanted to do the right thing by people. She was constantly late and kept me waiting every time we went out - which frustrated me like mad and caused many a row! She liked watching good drama's, reality TV - Made in Chelsea and Love Island! and movies on TV (when she could stay awake long enough!) and visiting the cinema with me occasionally - the last time together was at the special Kinema in the Woods at Woodhall Spa which loved. She liked cooking her made up pasta dishes. She liked her 'To Do' lists and had a notepad to hand and liked getting prepared and ready for anything necessary. She definitely liked helping and caring for others when she could (me and Sophie were shown that constantly, and I now so wish I had appreciated her more for it at the time). She never held back on giving advice or her opinion to anyone who wanted it, and to some who even didn't want it! She took pride in her appearance so much, never leaving the house without ensuring she was completely presentable with make-up and nice clothes. She loved an eye for a bargain (Primark being her favourite shop!), liked doing car boot sales and selling stuff on ebay and loved hoarding clothes, bags and shoes (as well as receipt and tissues in her pockets!)! She wasn't really a reader but made an exception for the 50 Shades books! She didn't like spicy foods and was quite at home eating British! She hated getting wet and always watched the weather forecast on TV in the morning and even if it was sunny she went nowhere without her little umbrella, just in case! She was a rubbish driver, but she said I was too, so I'm getting the last word in here on that one! She was a good, kind sole; honest at heart and easily pleased (good job with me as her Hubby!). She hated her "army" belly (army being a shortened nickname for armadillo!) and would never fart in front of me - how good is that!! Lol. She was an amazing kisser and knew how to please her man. So, I really couldn't ask for more of a great wife. But of course I did, stupidly never being satisfied!

Family was everything to Dawn, always concerned for them and she had a special close relationship with her brother Lee and later her half-sister Abbey, always supporting and wanting to help them celebrate at birthdays and Christmas.

All these memories and so many more simply make me realise just how lucky I really was to have had her in my life.

Dawn really was a great Wife to me, as I now realise and it'd be impossible for me find anyone who loved me more than she did (despite her putting up with so much from me and never even really moaned!). I was punching above my weight when she kindly let me into her life back in 2004! She was always amazingly supportive of whatever I came up with or wanted to do, offering advice or help and backing me 100% with faith, like when I set my business up or when I suggested we should travel, she would have simply been happy to give up everything to do that with me, for me. I wish we had now. She was reliable and dependable and was always interested in what I did and cared so much, always worrying about me and always wanted what was best for me. How could I ask for more? She was 100% loyal and trustworthy and that was a massive thing in our relationship, trust was everything between us and that never waned. She built me up when we got together and gave me confidence for which I will always be grateful. We had our up and downs over the years and it wasn't a 'perfect' marriage by any stretch but we found our way through or over it and it was a different 'quirky' kind of love we used to say we had and we made it work despite the hardships along the way. We were somehow bonded and stuck together through thick and thin, through sickness and health (sadly more sickness than health). We were like chalk and cheese in many respects and I saw that as a negative sometimes but now she's not here I realise actually it's not a bad thing, it's just the way it was and we made it work somehow anyway. I'd do anything to have her back here with me, no matter what.

She was a super Mum to Sophie, who Dawn just simply adored from Day 1 and did everything for, caring for her so well in those early years, organising and sorting things out even when she was so tired or poorly herself. She was the one Sophie ran to when she was poorly and all the positive, lovely things Sophie wrote down in home made cards and T-shirts for her Mum during the last 5 months demonstrated just how much she supported and loved her Mum and wanted her to get better. Sadly it was a battle Dawn couldn't win this time in the end and Sophie misses her so much. Even at the end Dawn was putting things in place for when she had gone to help Sophie deal with her death and that's already helped Sophie in many ways which is amazing. A Mum never stops loving or caring.

We miss her immensely in the most unimaginable (big and small) ways. Our lives feel less bright and more hollow now but she will never be forgotten and always in our thoughts. My 'Sweet Cheeks'. Best Mum and Wife. Thank You for everything and all the amazing times we shared together.

You have taught me/us so much about life and love. We will indeed now Carpe Diem from now on in your memory.

143 XXX

Written by Neil Buck, in loving Memory of Dawn Buck. I only hope it's done her justice. :-) XXX