Richard Paul Avron - Cotton (14 Nov 1983 - 12 Jun 2018)

Luke’s Tribute to Richard – To be read in Crematorium.

Richard was someone you could be venerable with, you could show him your weaknesses and you know they would be safe with him. He would never use them against you and he never judged.
He never expressed any envy no matter how hard things got for him. He didn’t understand why these demons tormented him but he was not bitter towards anyone more fortunate or in a better situation than himself. Instead he would gain happiness from sharing other people’s happiness and would be genuinely proud of your success. His only wish was that one day he too would feel that happiness for himself again and that moment once again share his happiness with you.
I will always be proud of what a thoughtful, loving, genuine soul my brother was. He has given me more in his short life than I can say and has helped me become the person I am today. It is because of this I know he will continue to live on through not only me but everyone that had the fortune of being part of his life.
You are my big brother and I will love you always and think of you every day.
Luke x

Lees Tribute to Richard – To be read in the Church

Someone recently said to me that the closest match to you as a person is your sibling, you are made from the exact same genes given to you from Mum and Dad and only us share that in the world.
All three of us are built from the same things and although slightly different on the outside its only recently I realised how whole I felt being the three of us. Despite the fact one third of me has now gone he will always be with me and that can never be taken away.
Rich will live on through me, I will take Rich on journeys and see places that I know would make him happy. He will be able to see the world through me and I know wherever I am he will be doing it with me. When I have that thing inside me that guides me at a cross road in life I know it will be Rich guiding me.
He was so passionate, caring and thoughtful, with such a creative mind. No matter how hard life got he would always see the better things in life, things that would normally pass a lot of people by. For showing me that I will be forever grateful.
I love you so much and always will.
Lee

Richard saw life differently to us

If we walked through a field we walked through a field
Richard saw the tiny flowers the breeze the life within the field

If it rained
it rained cold and damp

Richard saw the drops getting bigger and bigger till they burst
running down the window pain
the colours the patterns

If it snowed
it snowed freezing cold hands and feet

Richard saw sparkles reflecting in the snow the clean whiteness
the crispness
the feeling of the flakes on your face and eyelashes

If we looked up at the sky
We saw sky

Richard could see and feel the wind moving the clouds

and watched the different shapes forming animals people and Moods
He would spend hours doing so as his friends found out when they were travelling
and often had to wait for him

In his excitement he wanted us to see and feel what he saw
The stars,
The moon,
The sun rises
The sun sets
every day was exciting and new for Richard

He never saw anything bad in nature and in people
he was kind gentle a philosopher and a listener


He made my life a joy
introducing me to the beauty he saw

As soon as it snowed he’d ring me up
and say “mum do you want to go for a walk in the snow”
Now that could be any time of the day or night
(but usually night)!

When he was travelling he’d ring again at anytime
(usually night)!
to tell me the exciting thing he’d done or experience
Then he’d say “what time is it mum where you are “
I’d say 3 am Richard !!

He’d reply oh your not going to sleep now are you ?
no I’d say then I’d sit in the back door and look to the sky’s knowing he’d be looking at what I was looking at

his excitement was infectious his joy made you joyful even in a bad day

While he was away he bought 2 rings
1 blue ring and 1 crystal ring he gave me the blue one my favourite colour and said he’d bought it for me and the other one was for the girl he was going to marry one day

Now I wished I’d listened watched and stood by him a little longer at all of those times

I know he is in a new place we’re his eyes ears touch and feelings will be fulfilled every day
I’m glad he introduced me to his world and every time I look at nature and the elements I will be reminded of Richard and his optimism in life
Love you Richard Mum x

Goodbye for now Richard , you were my kind, caring, animal-loving, fun-loving, technical wizard nephew, who rocked hard with the best of them!

Richard, reading your obituary today with tears of sadness and pride, it seems your infectious smile and laughter, along with all your amazing characteristics, have touched many people’s hearts.

I will always keep the many memories of you locked in my heart, like playing in nanny’s garden with the animals, watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with you and your brothers, chocolate spread sandwiches and chip butties.
Trips to Rochester castle, the local rec and all of the games we’d play, stories told sitting on top of the landing so all three of you could hear and later of your travels and adventures.

You always, (well most of the time)favoured Auntie Mel’s taste in music over your brothers! You will always rock!

Loved you then, love you now, love you always. Rest In Peace sweet soul, Aunty Mel

Dear Richard,
I’m so sorry you aren’t here anymore , but so glad you were. Love you always. Granddad xx

Sweet Rich. This news floored me. Some of my most cherished memories of my 20s and fun times at Odeon feature you. I also remember how you were looking out for me on one occasion in particular. So sorry I didn't do a better job of returning the favour when you reached out in more recent years. I wish I could be there to say goodbye. I know there are lots of people thinking of you right now, even though, like me, they may not have seen you for many years. Rest easy xxx

I've just heard the news and am so sorry. Rich you were always the life of the party and never had a bad word for anyone. My later teenage years wouldn't have been the same without you and I feel lucky to have known you. Even after we grew up and moved on you would always have a hug for me when we bumped into each other in town, you'd say hi to my son and we'd catch up briefly. I'll miss that. I hope you have found peace xx

Richard: a Reflection

For me, Richard was a big part of my childhood. I didn’t really know him during the last 10 or so years, but his passing drew me into a retrospective discourse. He was not just a big part of my childhood. Together with my brother and a few others, he was my childhood.

Our creative imaginations brought us together as kids. Rich shared his love of railways, model-making and adventure with us, and whilst others were running around madly; screaming and shouting on the playground, we were ‘setting up shelters’, ‘digging up dinosaur bones’, ‘backing up trains in the yard’, and acting out our favourite childhood adventure stories of ‘Hiding Out’ and ‘On the Run’. Richard would even compose songs about these little games of ours. We would draw maps and make old-looking diaries; all stained in coffee for effect. We were stuck together; Richard, Adam and I, during our days at St Peter’s Primary.

Richard loved the idea of being a survivalist from a young age; roaming around the trench-ridden unused lands surrounding Milton and Kemsley with his pen-knife and creating a secret language for us to use-not that I could remember a word of it! I guess it made sense that it would lead us to eventually pack up a couple of bags and go travel the world once we finished school.

Richard loved friends. He always wanted to be in the centre of it all, and the more people he had around him, the better. If we went out somewhere, he could immerse himself into a group of others quite quickly and just wanted to have fun. To this end, I found him most at home in Australia and New Zealand; getting on with other backpackers and being the last to bed down for the night. At times I thought I could slip away and he wouldn’t even notice!

However, Richard seemed most at home at his Uncle’s ranch in the Blue Mountains, on the Great Dividing Range in Oz. It was like his calling to be there, immersed in the outback, working all day oiling the timber of the ranch’s buildings, then bbq’s and beer for dinner. We would hike out into the bush and be at peace with the world around us. That twinkle in his eye showed us that people and parties may cater to his spirit, but hard work and wilderness catered to his soul.

I would guess that Queenstown, New Zealand may have been his favourite spot though. Set by a huge lake, and back-dropped by an incredible mountain range known as the Remarkables, I don’t think he ever wanted to leave that place. That and the more local ‘Conyer Creek’.

We spent so much of our time over at Conyer. Climbing trees, cycling over the coastal banks and generally mucking around. We even went there to revise for our exams. Richard would bring his rubber dingy, and we would paddle out into the channel to study our science and French. Only one time, he had a puncture. We emerged out of the water like swamp monsters, dragging our soaked gear behind us, much to the bemusement of a family trying to have a picnic on the banks!

Over time, our circle of friends would grow and shrink. Faces would change and so would the social dynamics, but he was always there. We may not have been stuck together like in the old days with our Royal Blue school jumpers, but we were still in each other’s company. He was loyal and enthusiastic. Richard would turn up for our band practices, even though he wasn’t in the band. We would see each other every day, even though we went to different secondary schools. He was always complementary of my art work and kept me motivated at Art College (even though we played more pool than we did paint!).

Richard’s creativity never faltered. Over time, our visions shifted though, and his creative ambition fell out of alignment with mine. He hung on to what he had, whereas I wanted to seek out something new and different. It was that ‘explorer’s bug’ he instilled in me back when we were playing ‘On the Run’.

We had our ups and downs, what friendship doesn’t?, but we always returned to each other’s company. Years of living away and travelling, I would still wind up sharing a pint with him over at the Ypres, talking about old times. His hair grew longer, more curly and more wild, and his views more prolific and existential, but he could still laugh at the time I threw my drink over his face when he was doing a flaming Sambuca during the New Year’s celebrations in Singapore, and I thought his head was on fire! Or the fact he used to be so superstitious that he would actively avoid man-hole covers if they were sets of two, and seek out the sets of three for good luck! This obsessiveness about him made him charismatic and actually quite charming.

Our lives became more separated, and I never really knew who he became as a man. I know he struggled. I visited him in hospital on a number of times and tried to convince him to take up the study of Philosophy or Physics. He never quite admitted to me how tormented he was and soon his emails stopped. I know he still loved the old gang and dreamed backwards of the old lives we led. I knew he loved his family. And I knew he still craved that adventure, but sadly lacked the resources.

I will always remember and thank Richard for my childhood. The friends we shared from five years of age and thereafter. The goldfish he bought us. The swimming lessons he invited us to join him on. The Scouts outings Paul took us to so that we could share the fun with Rich (even though Adam and I weren’t members!). The time I crashed my motorbike in Thailand, and Rich drove me back to the hostel, cleaned my wounds with his vodka and dressed it every day to make sure it didn’t go septic. The boats we would design, with ambitions to sail the world. He was so inventive and meticulous about every detail, “your boat looks good Chris, but you’ve not left room for the fuel compartment, or the cold store”. We were only 9!

Thank you for those years Richard. Now your torment is over, may you rest in peace.

Aww Richard, I loved you from the very first moment I saw you.
We didn't know that God was going to call your name that day. I would have shouted louder and asked him to let you stay.
But your life was a blessing, I have memories to treasure. You were loved beyond words and will be missed beyond measure.
Our family tree is broken and nothing seems the same but when God calls us one by one. The chain will link again.
Love from your grieving Auntie P. XXX

We miss you more today, than we did yesterday.
But not as much as we will tomorrow.
Farewell Richard
E J Bell