Herbert Dickinson (24 Apr 1929 - 11 Jun 2018)

In loving memory of Herbert Dickinson who sadly passed away on 11th June 2018,
Herbert,
a dearly loved husband of Maureen,
loving and much loved dad of John and Jill.
Will be sadly missed by all.

Eulogy from the funeral:

Herbert was a man of few words, so I will follow his example today.
The abiding memory most people seem to have is of him sitting in his chair, quietly taking everything in with a smile on his face. In fact, even through the last few years, while suffering from Alzheimer’s, the smile would be there even if he didn’t take in quite as much as he used to.
He left school at 14 to become an apprentice joiner, a trade he would follow all his working life. He was a craftsman of the highest skill and his work was always top quality.
While this was usually a good thing it wasn’t great when he went round with Jill and John while they were looking for our first house. He would pull faces and voice his opinion on the craftsmanship of fittings, question the quality of the wood used and, in the most embarrassing of the incidents, push a screwdriver into the window sill to show it was rotten – in a house that was still occupied. They didn’t buy that one nor go back for a second viewing.
When they did find the right house, it was Herbert’s great joinery that made the wreck of a bungalow in East Hardwick into a comfortable home.
The sad side to this was the frustration caused as the Alzheimer’s slowly made him forget how to be able to work with wood and be unable to carry out the repairs needed in the house.

He was always supportive of John’s wish to be a musician. I think it’s fair to say they were not the most musical of families so John’s wish to play may have come as a bit of a surprise. However, after buying a piano, paying for lessons and listening to John’s awful playing for years he must have felt some disappointment when John gave up (because he was hopeless, to be honest).
His support never wavered though and he then bought John a trumpet (which was brave given the piano failure and the noise a trumpet can make in the wrong hands). That led to many, many years of Herbert becoming a taxi driver, taking John to band practices, concerts and competitions and to his longstanding involvement with the Wakefield Metropolitan Band. He became treasurer of the band and made some good friends of the other parents whose children played in the band.

He wasn’t a particular lover of large groups of people or of family get-togethers (a trait John seem to have inherited) being much happier with smaller gatherings, but would always be there to help if needed.

His marriage to Maureen lasted well over 60 years and was one of happiness and love. In fact, when Herbert went into the Sycamores Care Home a few weeks ago it was the first time in nearly 70 years that they hadn’t seen each other for a full 24 hour period.
There were ups and downs, of course, not least when the chimney stack of the flat where they lived when John was as a baby fell into the bedroom in a storm nearly killing Maureen and John. Herbert got them out seconds before the bed was destroyed.
He would never throw anything away meaning the outhouse was full of what Maureen would describe as junk. The answer to this – build a shed. That was also soon full of “junk” leading to a second shed and so on.
Maureen used to go out shopping, not quite sure what Herbert would have built in the house (or the garden) while she was out. Perhaps the most useful foresight was his installation of a stairlift at a point when they were both very mobile. In his usual way of using the least words necessary, his reason was “we’ll need it soon enough”. It took a good few years but he was right.
After years of not wanting to go abroad because they all eat “foreign food” Herbert was finally persuaded to venture outside the UK, a move that would lead him and Maureen to many foreign trips and forge some very good friendships. Some of the happiest memories Maureen will have will be of their times on these holidays.
Maureen and John were everything to Herbert up to the 1980s when Jill joined the family and right to the end, she was his “little angel”. On one occasion, as his confusion through the Alzheimer’s became worse, he looked at a wedding picture of John and Jill and asked Maureen “who’s that man with Jill”? Admittedly John had glasses and hair in the picture but it showed how much Jill meant to him.

To close, Herbert will be remembered with love by all who knew him and as the man sitting smiling in the chair. While the Alzheimer’s took his memory and changed his personality, it is this calm and quiet man that will shine through.

Just one word of advice from John to all the people in Heaven. Don’t all go out at once and leave him alone unless you want Herbert to build a shed, fill it with rubbish and fit some wardrobes while you’re out.