Pauline Alice Mary Carney (8 Aug 1928 - 19 May 2018)

In loving memory of Pauline Alice Mary Carney who sadly passed away on 19th May 2018.

Pauline was born to Ernie and Alice Freeman on 8th August 1928 at St Thomas hospital in central London.

Born premature, her twin sadly never made it.

She spent her early years at the family enclave in New Cross, where they lived near to other Freeman and Allen family members.

She had two younger brothers, whom she loved, Alan and Brian, and with them the themes for her life were formed: family-first, caring and fun.

Before the War, the family moved to a new house in Prestbury Square, Mottingham, South East London, due to Pauline’s asthma.

Pauline had many stories from the war, including one when her Mottingham school playground was machine gunned by a German fighter plane. As the children were told to sing ‘Jesus wants me for a sunbeam’, she was ‘rescued’ by her father on his pushbike, and taken safely back home, to the family shelter.

The Freeman children were not evacuated but spent summers with maternal Allen aunties, cousins and their grandparents, in the countryside of Three Bridges, Crawley.

Due to a number of illnesses Pauline suffered as a child; she had a lot of time to read: Milly Molly Mandy, Swallows and Amazons and later anything by Thomas Hardy were firm favourites. Pauline was always creative and loved Art. She had well-honed skills in illustration, watercolour and especially embroidery.

After the war, Pauline worked for the Ministry in Chislehurst at 14 years old, her job touching operations she mysteriously described as “all very hush-hush”. No one is still any the wiser to what was involved.

In the mid 1950s Pauline emigrated to America, an experience that was not only brave and adventurous, especially for a woman in her 20’s at that time, but one that would define her in many ways afterwards.

On leaving Southampton aboard the RMS Queen Mary, after waving off her family at the quayside – apart from father Ernie who refused to join in as he didn’t approve of the trip – in tears, Pauline entered her cabin on the ship and found a bouquet of flowers on her bed. They were from a childhood friend and distant admirer, John Carney, wishing her all the best in her adventure.

Pauline found America to be stimulating way beyond the then dowdy London, and stayed there for two years. She lived in Trenton, New Jersey with the family of an old friend from Mottingham (Doris) who had married a GI (Dan) and their daughter (Joyce). Dan’s family owned an orchid nursery. Pauline was loved as one of their own, and worked first as a telephonist, then a computer operator at Smithkline French, Mobile Oil and Mercer drug co. – no doubt having the time of her life, learning all about how to be an accomplished young American.

After requests from her mother, Pauline returned to England on the RMS Queen Elizabeth, moved back to Mottingham and worked as a computer operator for IBM and ICI in London. Her beloved cousin Mary remarked recently “how clever Pauline was – to teach computers to the people ‘in England’ – as we didn’t know how to use them at the time”. Many holidays were taken on the continent, by train, or with the new Martin Rooks travel agency.

A hard worker and devoted fan of both dogs and style, Pauline was bought a chocolate poodle by her boss and his wife, from a breeder in Manor Way, Beckenham. She called her Tina.

Pauline’s parents became the guardians of Tina in the early 60s, as Pauline was working and spending more time courting John Carney.

On Grand National day, March 31 in 1963 Pauline married John, in St Mary’s Church, Chislehurst. Cousin Mary was her bridesmaid and brother Brian was best man.

Pauline and John enjoyed a devoted marriage that would last 55 years to the end, bar their very-last four months apart this year.

They moved into a flat in Avington Grove, Penge where they had two children Néna and Jonathan, and a bath in the kitchen. Early years were spent happily in the Victorian flat with family and playmates for the children close by.

After a brief while in a new flat in Penge, they moved to their first house, in Rookery Gardens, St Mary’s Cray, that turned out to be less than idyllic – with some strange neighbours and wild motorcyclists in front of the house. Thanks to Pauline’s capabilities, the family swiftly moved onto the new Sandycroft Estate in Orpington, where Pauline and John set up the family home for the next twenty-seven years.

In 1970, Pauline lost her father, to cancer, and remained extremely close to her mother, with Alice moving into the Orpington home at her last.

Throughout the 70s Pauline worked relentlessly hard, ensuring the kids had what they needed, including a beautiful home, well knitted jumpers, fantastic food at home and regular weekly trips to the Kent countryside in the family Morris Minor that she had nick-named Herbie – in reference to the ‘similar’ VW Beetle. Pauline was an accomplished dressmaker and regularly made extraordinary clothes for the family, including matching ‘Little House on the prairie’ dresses for Nena and her younger cousin Joanne and various outfits for Nena’s school holiday to Belgium. Shopping trips to ‘Marks’ in Bromley, John Lewis in Oxford Street – for furniture, or ‘Mary’s’ along East Street for more clothes (and the obligatory pie and mash in Arments), was usually on the agenda for a Saturday.

Annual family holidays spread from Westgate to Rye, to the Isle of Wight in 1975 and 76, then Devon, Dorset and Cornwall - often with other family members, especially brother Alan and his family.

Pauline mostly enjoyed life in Orpington, with some good friendships and a fairly genteel, suburban lifestyle. Like all war-generation people, she was an accomplished gardener, with a broad knowledge and like of plants and flowers, and cultivated the family garden to both look good and to grow strawberries and tomatoes in. Most evenings she’d sit down comfortably to watch a favourite soap with Britt the whippet on her lap – an evening ritual that she enjoyed to the very end, often with a grandchild and cup of tea next to her instead. She also hosted many family parties and most of the extended family would descend on the house each Boxing Day and birthdays for a ‘knees-up’.

She understood what her children wanted, and improvised to make sure they got it - including home-made Kentucky fried chicken, ‘American’ pizza (pastry with cheddar cheese, oregano and tomato ketchup on top), a form of curry, and Bata-brand, fake Doctor Martens.

She worked part-time in a children’s home and a disabled-care home, often going way beyond the call of duty – to give friendship, kindness and love to the children within. She couldn’t have done it any other way.

With her own kids grown up, and her and John retired, they moved to a flat, by Kelsey Park, in Beckenham, but spent many weeks in their house in Andalusia southern Spain that they owned with relations Betty and Alf, which she fondly described at the time as follows:
“Avenues lined with oleanders and hibiscus, bougainvillea’s and morning glory. There are vineyards too, orange groves, palm trees - buildings are those beautiful cool, pink, yellow, and white low ones. Fabulous beaches, clear water.”

Her pleasure in showing you around the Elviria area was huge.

Both John and Pauline were very content during the 19 years they lived in Beckenham, near family, friends and lovely neighbours. Actively participating in their grandchildren’s lives was seen as a pleasure and a privilege. The pleasure and devotion was repaid in later years. The grandchildren were Pauline’s greatest passion since the 1990’s, the six in total - Nancy, Lucca, Loli, Suzie, Lydia and Iggy. She dedicated much of herself to help raise them with unequivocal love. They no doubt all have a very special place in their hearts for her.

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On 08.08.08 Pauline turned 80.
Ever youthful, ever elegant, she celebrated at midnight, with a martini in hand, at a cocktail bar in Barcelona.

Pauline had Alzheimer’s in the later years of her life, but she still maintained her undying love and 100% appreciation of her family and managed to remember all her close family to the absolute end. She left us surrounded by the ones she loved, feeling loved, at home.

She will be remembered as someone who was witty, warm, light hearted and always loyal, loving and, above all, caring.

In her time a keen amateur artist, gardener, flower arranger, embroidery champion, knitter, dressmaker, traveller, devoted daughter, caring sister, and a truly great doting mother, grandmother and carer of those she met along the way.

Have fun Mum. x