Robert Gray (18 Sep 1949 - 13 May 2018)

I cannot believe one year has passed since you’ve gone and the pain and loss is endless
I miss you desperately but you’re still here in my heart forever
I would not have got through this year without the love and support of Bertie,Selena,Helen and as always your wee brother Thomas and his wife Denise
Without these good people I would not have managed to survive and with your cousin John and the fabulous Catriona always looking out for me ,somehow I’ve struggled through
I will Love you Always

Thinking of you today. Will Love & Miss you Always ❤️

Robert was my friend, and a friend of some of those gathered here too, many, more knowledgeable of his past than I.
He was also a loving husband to Irene, a brother, uncle, nephew of considerable respect and loving by his wider family……..

So I am privileged, and honoured, to be asked to reflect on how he was one, who will now be, so sadly missed..
There is so much about Robert he kept largely to himself and his intimidate family …………………..and I was lucky enough to share some of his interests too.

He had always been an avid reader throughout his life and then more so into retirement to the extent that if the book didn’t have at least 400 pages it was viewed as a novella …...
And, although he read mostly non-fiction, he did diversify to ‘relax’ his mind, occasionally….... and novels were just short stories….. a ‘snack’ on the side…………..

He and I were poles apart in so many ways even having being brought up in Glasgow around the same time. He from the from one side of the city, myself from the other, separated by distance, schooling, religion, football interests, even politics …….and many other life affecting issues
Yet Glasgow was and still is n the end, to my thinking, just a collection of villages, from which we are all drawn to the centre where our more selfish colloquial interests can be discarded, even temporarily , to mould and meld each others lives to become, eventually, the long lasting bunches, groups of friends we are today, despite all of our history and differences.

Retirement brought Robert and I together a through our interests in finding out what the rest of the world had been up to whilst we had been busy following out own initially defining self-driven paths…..
Roberts’ through industry to Trade unionism and Politics, myself in military service, the RAF.
Having joined up at the age of 16, in the 60s, I had missed out on Glasgow life, until the late 90s, other than occasional visits back to see my parents in Linthouse………..
Whereas Robert had spent his youth and younger years becoming city-wise, street-wise and people wise, sometime to his cost, …….until he found his niche in the Trades Union movement.. and ‘local’ politics….

In our earlier years we had both been self-absorbed in what we were doing at the time with little care or knowledge of the ‘other’ side’s realities…

His interest in the Cold War period, the Security Services and ‘Communications’ in particular, was our meeting point..
He gaining an understanding of what the Government had been up to while he had been otherwise active in opposition to it, to some extent, …
and I trying to find out the same
……………. whilst the same government had fed me like a mushroom in the darker cavities of underground bunkers and such like, trying to ensure the safety of everyone, including those against it…. ……..

We were to become the meeting of minds in other similar ways too.


In the same vein an interest in Northern Ireland’s most recent, tragic, past and now present attracted us.
His as an ‘outsider’ and Myself again ! as an ‘insider’, of sorts, having served there during the ‘Troubles’..……………..My son is proud to be Northern Irish……………….

We were lucky enough to have a good friend, Sean, who arranged a most memorable group weekend away, to introduce us to what were, had been, the realities of life during those times of the people of Derry, and of the life and vitality, and friendliness that runs through it’s core today.
Just the basic ‘jack-the-lad’ jaunt to sample the ‘culture of Sean’s beloved home town.. (City!)… with lots of drink to lubricate the journey. Memorable to us all for the comradeship we made within our group, unforgettable, the catalyst the city itself…………..

Robert was very much his own man…... Whilst we were away, up early, to stroll into town, find a coffee shop where I would find him sat, relaxed, with coffee and a newspaper and he and I could breakfast and enjoy another part of Derry, outside of it’s pub life….. !. Watch the City rise and go on it’s daily way.……….
Whilst the ‘others’ of our motley crew were either still dead to the world or wrangling their brains back into order or making breakfast in the flat where we were staying………..

Robert devoured books. Books on Philosophy, Politics, Religion, The Cold War the Security Services to name a few ……………….
often with two or three on the go at the same time.
He was an intellectual sponge with a cavernous memory

I’m not sure how many of his friends knew how deep his interest in literature was.
His literary lust led him to gaining a degree ………….and then teaching English and English as a Foreign Language at the John Wheatley college.
And, I’m sure, with his understanding of German could have gone on to teaching that too. ..
Had he wished,…..
I’m sure he could have written too, but with such a diverse set of interests I doubt he could have found one subject of choice to settle on and compose himself enough to concentrate on it with the singularity it would have required.

I’m sure too that it was his love of literature, exposure to new readings and in depth interest in everything he read, that further turned his political views to a more level view of life, government, politics, well beyond the participation in the ‘extremes’ of his younger years.
He surprised many with his more recent political outlook, never forceful in company, but neither suffering fools gladly who didn’t take care to get their facts right or voiced opinions out of turn in an ill mannered way.

He loved the heat, the sun, the culture of foreign places. Again we met with a common liking. He loved the bullfighting something I too was reasonably well versed in having lived and worked in in Madrid and Sevilla over several years…..
We even had similarities in favoured holiday destinations, Porto Soller was one, . Staying at the same hotel, although not a the same time….

His idea of a real holiday was a sunny patch, on a sea front, in a bar, a good book or two, coffee, a beer or several…..and people watching. Relaxing.
Whilst mine was to get out early, tramping the Tramuntana Mountain range to prove that there can be a full life after a period of intensive care……. thankfully for me it worked

Robert loved his football too, as does Thomas his brother. Lifelong Celtic supporters, as I know a few, well probably… many of you here are too...and we often met up when particular matches were being played, with myself as … dare I say….the ‘token’…”Hun” observer.
He had a discerning eye when it came to the good and the bad and was not beyond being critical of his team’s performances when he felt the need .

But more than that , he just loved Football, La Liga being a particular favourite, enjoying watching on TV the skills and performances of the Barcelona, Real Madrid, and other ‘International’ teams on display…………. Just as he was disdainful of the state of Scottish football, .. at the lower end of the of the scale, even locally!… Like down the road !…... As it is today….

He and I even had a medical connection, the medications he was using, as with Irene too, I had been subjected to some years before, so we could discus openly on a different comfort level with understanding of the intricacies of the treatments……………….
I got lucky they found one that works, as has Irene,……………….. a relief for Robert. ……..
Sadly for Robert he never had time to enjoy benefits of better health before he died.

Over the past year or so, without the face to face contact, on our weekly chats, he always asked after ‘the friends’, Glen, Colin, Wee Bob (Thomson) to name a few.. those he couldn’t meet, as much as he wanted to, ….the cold, the medications On/Off, changing, took their toll……….But he nearly always sounded cheerful.

He was an everyman to everyman.... a wit, a raconteur.. a teller of tales ...even correcting Glen’s memory on occasion to the light relief and laughter of us all.
His presence in company always eagerly awaited, to add his observational humorous input. Often at the cost to his previous and present friends, associates and comrades………….and always without malice.

Robert stood tall, a quiet man, relaxed in his own skin, the ‘classic’ casual smart’ dresser , always clean shaven….every ounce of him oozed character.. a quiet presence.
On Sunday afternoons,….in between Glen’s ongoing jokes and general banter..…. !…
………..an interjection.. Robert...... the flashing toothy grin and you knew you were in for another joke, a tale of times past….…….No matter how many times repeated they accounted for laughter, a catalyst for others to to respond……. If you could get one in,

Many here will never have met before, we are all from disparate groups and I am lucky enough to have crossed the paths of some in my times spent socialising with Robert.
Most notably getting to know his brother Thomas and meeting Bob Thomson and some of his comrades.
I have only met his wife Irene today, although we have chatted on the phone, ….. but friends are what they are…. and can always come together and call on one another when needed , whatever suits …. it doesn’t matter, it’s about knowing and caring that counts….

Robert compartmentalised his groups of friends, his associates, and in many cases there may well have never been any interaction or only limited contact between them, until today.
It was not about being ‘secret’ in some way, it’s just the way life falls and goes on ………….he was not like the ‘younger’, and some of the ‘older’, generation who keep their friends in their pockets and unknowingly in the pockets of ‘others’, even ‘strangers’ too.
Robert, was noted for forgetting where he’d left his mobile phone, forgotten to switch it on or even keep it charge……….it was his way….

Now gone from us, he’s missed, and undoubtedly thankful not to be encapsulated under medical care,………... being looked after…………..., taken care of……………., like a victim of life’s obnoxiousness…………….. He could never play a victim.

It’s farewell from fiends and all gathered here and I’m sure he would agree, if he could, That even Real Men cry sometime….

You were the Love of My Life,My Soulmate and My Family.Love & miss you but you will be in my heart forever

Will always miss you Robert.