In loving memory of Joan Betty Fuller who sadly passed away on 16th April 2018 from Andrea on behalf of her whole family: Although the country was still suffering badly from the effects of The Great War, January 1919 must have seemed a good time to bring a new baby into the world and there she was, our Mum, by all accounts a little scrap of a thing much loved by her elder sister, Doris, brother, Bernard, and, of course, her parents, Alice and Alfred. There wasn’t much money but her childhood was a very happy one, loved as she was not only by her immediate family but by her numerous aunts, uncles and cousins who frequently got together whenever there was a family occasion to celebrate.
Mum did well at school and entered fully into school life, her great love being the amateur dramatic society which was the start of a life-long love of the theatre; indeed as she earned her own money, she spent many a Saturday in the West End queuing for a half a crown ticket. If she was feeling particularly flush, she would rent a stool for, I think, 6d which guaranteed your place without your standing there all the time.
She met our Dad during a school production, the romance blossomed and they married in November 1940; not exactly an auspicious start as it was raining, the church had been bombed and had no windows and she had such a bad cold she could hardly speak. As you all know, Dad was in the RAF and, it being war time, life was not at all easy for the newly weds. In March 1942 Mum received the dreaded telegram that Dad had been posted missing on a flight to the Middle East. She was pregnant with me at the time and one can only imagine the anguish at receiving this news along with details of how to claim her war widow’s pension. Thankfully, this proved to be an administrative error – he had been transferred to a different squadron and they had simply lost track of him. That wasn’t the end of a dramatic year – another telegram in December told of a serious crash and critical illness so, once again, she was left with the daunting prospect of being on her own with a small baby. Thankfully Dad made a full recovery and they enjoyed nearly 50 years together, creating a loving family life for Sue and I.
Mum adapted brilliantly to the wandering Air Force life, making friends all over the world with whom she kept in touch – hand written letters in those days! There was tragedy in Ceylon (Sri Lanka) when they lost a third daughter to gastro-enteritis at just under a year old – our sister Judith – but were determined not to let it shadow our lives.
Our parents were extremely sociable – Boxing Day parties at our house were legendary at whichever Station they found themselves where everyone enjoyed playing party games instead of the usual Service “Cocktail Affair”. This sociability carried on in their civilian life after Dad retired from the RAF and they had a lovely bungalow built in West Chiltington, Sussex, where they fully engaged with the many activities on offer there, especially Scottish Dancing which they both loved and Burns Night with all its rituals was one of the highlights of their year.
Although for much of her life Mum was kept busy making homes for us wherever we were, she did venture back into the world of work on a couple of occasions, the most impressive job, I think, was when she “ran” a charter airline from where Dad was stationed in West Germany back to the UK for service personnel to get back home on leave more cheaply. Dad had come up with the idea of chartering aircraft for which he had to fight the Aviation Powers that Be for a licence and Mum set up a small office and took all the bookings, instalment payments and issued the tickets. As you can imagine, this enterprise was extremely popular.
And then when they moved to Sussex, she was a valuable member of the team in a local Estate Agency.
They always had plenty of time for Sue & I, our husbands, Malcolm and Jim, and our children Visits to them in Sussex – both in Hatherley, their original bungalow, and Challows, the smaller one they moved to – were always a delight. Mum was devastated when Dad died but was determined to carry on enjoying her many activities which ranged from Scottish dancing, tennis, table tennis, flower arranging, gardening, theatre outings to holidaying with family and friends. Sadly Dad didn’t meet his grandchildren’s partners or his great grandchildren but we are so very pleased that Mum was able to get to know them all; she was interested in all our lives right to the very end and liked nothing better than a visit from any of us or to be shown photos. As the family matriarch, not much escaped her notice.
She will be sorely missed; especially at Christmas which she loved and where she was always the life and soul of the party. We are grateful to Kew House for looking after her so well for her last 18 months and are so thankful that we had her for so long.
We were so sorry to hear the news of Aunty Joan's passing away. We have many fond memories of her from family gatherings, including our wedding. She was always very kind, took an interest in what we were doing in our lives and, as family matriarch, not much escaped her attention!. Praying for God's comfort as you mourn. With lots of love - Alice, Andrew & Caleb
To Andrea, Malcolm, Sue & Jim and, of course, all your lovely family: I know how much Joan will be missed in all your lives. Her family meant so much to her and she always enjoyed showing me all her photos whenever I visited. She will also be a big hole in my life but I will always remember the wonderful times we had together especially at Mewstone and me showing her the coast of Ireland when she visited. Rest in peace, Joan, and I thank God for her long life and wonderful family. Of course she will be very much in my thoughts at 11.30 on the 9th May and I send you a big hug as you say goodbye to her. With much love - Phil xx
I am so sorry to hear the sad news, Joan was a lovely lady who I enjoyed talking to. What a wonderful age she was and was still interested in everything. I am sure she will love her last resting place here in Strete as she used to love it here particularly sitting in the "shed".
So sorry to hear about Dear Joan we are glad that she went peacefully.
Thank you for the lovely photos.
I still find that I am at a loss on Thursday mornings!! She was part of my life for nearly 30 odd years, I first met her in 1978 and Brian met her when she was working for John Mills.
She always got me tickets for the xmas flower show, she was very talented with flowers before her sight got bad. Flowers always meant a lot to her , she always had lots of colour so she could see them before she left West Chiltington.
We are sorry but we are unable to get to the funeral but our thoughts and sympathies are with you especially now that we have the photos.
Love Penny & Brian
So sorry to learn of Joan’s passing, she was always my favourite aunt. Bernard and she were so close that there always seemed to be a bit of magic in the air when they were around each other.
Apart from the photos from Ceylon my earliest memory is of you guys turning up at Lodge Avenue with that brand new Ford Consul on your return from Gütersloh. Then there was the house at Bushey and you had a food mixer that made orange juice!!
Of course all the times at WC with Gran being there, that was very special for me as it was a freedom for me to come down and visit and always to be made so welcome.
I do remember the time however that I missed out on - I was meant to be driving Bernard and Kitty down for the weekend to WC but got so drunk the night before celebrating some exam results that Geoff had to drive and I stayed in bed all day in Romford! Never drink whisky from a plastic cup when you have gatecrashed a party - I can still taste it now urgh.
All to say every single memory I have of dear Joan is a pleasant and precious one, I always felt she would be there for me as well as you guys if ever needed.
So to Joan the perfect mother, hostess and AUNT
Joan was a wonderful lady, a good friend and near neighbour. When Paul and I married in 1989 (we were then 32) and moved to West Chiltington, I joined the Floral and Table Tennis Clubs where I met Joan. Age had no boundaries with Joan and despite an age gap of 38 years, I was included within her friendship group. When our son Adam came along a few years later, Joan, along her dear friend Kay, were only too willing to babysit for us which was wonderful! It was lovely to just be able to pop in for a chat – and a cup of tea - about everything under the sun and of course a statutory wander in the garden to see what was going on out there too! She would always want to know how Adam was getting on and had such a great way with young people of all ages. Joan was so special and will be greatly missed by everyone who knew her. I will also miss the updates, along with the many photographs, on all the wonderful family events and celebrations that always seemed to be taking place! God Bless Joan, we will never forget you.
With love Carol, Paul & Adam Nash xxx
'Aunty Joan' survived her sister Doris (my Mother) by 22 years.
With her wealth of experience she was always interesting to visit even as she aged as she was full of family information, tennis, gardening and West Chiltington news and until the last few years we shared our love of the theatre. However she was just as keen to know news of our family and what I had 'been up to lately'.
I have fond memories of a few Christmas's spent together when as a child I would be given a part in 'the play'. These required a certain amount of imagination - but I loved it, as we never did anything like it in our house.
I can only remember one story my Mother told me and that was when Joan returned from school one day holding a piece of white paper. This meant she had nits. A huge shame in those days. But it was a prank for which she was duly punished, though I doubted it mounted to much.
A favourite Aunt who will be fondly remembered.
Granny Joan was known to be the source of all news (or gossip) about the family, often somehow knowing all of our goings-on ahead of everyone else. If anyone was engaged, pregnant, or buying or selling a home you can guarantee that she’d know, and remember all the details too. She and my other granny, Esmé, were fast friends and often collaborators, not least at Christmas, when whatever game we were playing came to be accompanied by giggles and none-too-subtle cheating. Granny was a keen theatregoer, always telling us about the latest shows she’d seen with the theatre club in West Chiltington. I’m sure the fact that the theatre is so central to the careers of my brother Richard (as an actor) and me (as an academic) can in large part be traced back to her. I also remember Granny and Granddad returning from their trip to the US and Canada with comics, candy, and tales of Disneyworld, which I’m sure sparked my own interest in traveling across the Atlantic and setting over there. Indeed, it was wonderful to revisit that trip with Granny a few years ago, when we both read through a series of scrapbooks from her travels. Even though by that point her memory wasn’t as sharp as it had been, she could remember her travels (by Greyhound bus!) in lots of detail (as she could also of their incredible, and somewhat hair-raising, trip through central and eastern Europe). I am very glad that Granny got to meet her American grandchildren—my stepson Charlie and my son Toby, as well as my niece Gwen—and of course my wife Angela, even if the last time we saw her she had moved out of her beloved home and into the excellent care of Kew House. But perhaps above all I will think of Granny sitting in her garden at Challows. It could be the glummest days anyway else in the South of England, but you could guarantee that the patio would always be bathed in warm Sussex sunlight, and that Granny would be enjoying a sit-down (perhaps with a glass of something soothing), soaking up the rays.
Granny with Angela, Toby, and Charlie
What a privilege to know Joan, Betty , Fuller. Always so interested in our family, how they are and what they are up to. We always looked forward to the times when Andrea and Malcolm came with Joan to their home, Mewstone in Devon to enjoy a few days away or celebrate Easter in Strete. Her flower arrangements are legendary, so I was always mindful to pick the freshest Camilias from our garden for Joan to arrange for the table on Easter Sunday. Once we learned of her favourite tipple of an evening we shared a love of olives so we would enjoy them together as Andrea and Malcolm did the hard work of preparing supper. For us, Joan will always be remembered for her sunny personality, wonderful smile and love of plants and flowers. Although we will miss her, she has left a wonderful legacy with such happy memories of an amazing lady with such a loving supportive family. We thank you for being our friend. With much love Andrew, Lesley and family.(Devon) xxxx
Joan we miss you at Kew House, especially when the sun is shining.
Joan's love of the outdoors continued right until her last days. My only sadness is having struggled through the long winter that she could not enjoy it a bit longer.
Joan's character shone through until her last days, she certainly new her likes and dislikes.
Family, sunshine, talking books, red wine and her seat in the dining room all important. Being kept waiting was not for her but always kind, thoughtful and understanding of the staff.
Joan showed great determination with keeping mobile. Kew House got her back on her feet so she could transfer from bed to chair, walk to the bathroom and most importantly not require the use of the hoist. She managed this until the last month of her long life when her fraility finally got the better of her.
Still always polite and appreciative Joan was a dear.
We all miss her smiling face.
That hair was taken care of by Elaine until the last week of her life, still a head full to be proud of and never a curl out of place.
I cannot sign off without saying how delightful, helpful and appreciative the whole family have been in the support of their dear mother, mother in law, grandmother, great grandmother. Well and truly the much loved matriarch until her hundredth year.
Very best wishes to you all,
Sally
Physiotherapist
In loving memory of Joan!
All of us at Kew will remember your bright and cheerful smile you always wore with such grace.
You were an absolute joy to meet and care for, always.
You will be remembered here at Kew House.
It was tradition in the North of England for there to be ribald jokes about Mothers-in-Law. Les Dawson had a series of Mother in Law jokes, such as, such as ‘I upset my mother in law the other Guy Fawkes Night, I fell off the fire’ or ‘How many mothers-in-law does it take to replace a light bulb? None ... she always gets the son-in-law to do it’. Joan did not fit that Northern stereotype, although she was never short of a firm word if I was not looking after Andrea. But where it came to the garden she was tireless, and I do not believe that I was ever trusted to do anything.
Time had been tough for Joan and John, marrying during the war, and being apart when Andrea was born. I always admired Joan and John when they put so much of their life into cementing good relation between the UK and Germany after the war, and in starting their airline too help service people fly home at prices that were affordable.
In later years when the sun did not shine, Joan took to listening to books. These were supplied by Calibre Aylesbury Bucks HP225XQ. Should you wish to support this Charity you can donate on their web site: https://www.calibre.org.uk/donate.
But how I remember Joan is in the garden; active in her younger years, or passive, sitting in the sunshine. My memory of Joan is of Sunshine, which always seemed to be shining on her when she sat in the garden –be it at Challows or Hatherleigh in West Chiltington, outside Kew House, or in London when she stayed with us, and especially in Devon, where her ashes are to be spread in the garden at Mewstone.
Perhaps the main thing that I have to thank Joan and John for is their daughter, Andrea, to whom I have been married for over 50 years.
It was just over 40 years ago whenI first met Sue’s parents, Joan and John, in a flat we shared in Pimlico, London ; the meeting was brief but I was left with the firm impression that Joan was a formidable character and not one to be trifled with - this proved to be the case throughout the following years of our Mother-in-Law/Son-in-Law relationship.
Soon after that first visit we were invited to their home in West Chiltington for the week-end; a prior dinner engagement meant Joan & John had to leave us to cook for ourselves. Unused to the electric hob, we realized too late that the chip pan was blazing fiercely and beyond our control. Later, watching the departing fire engine reverse over John’s neatly manicured lawn and surveying the gutted kitchen - Joan’s pride & joy - I guessed my prospects with the Fuller family looked grim.
How wrong I was; simply glad that we weren’t hurt, they calmly dismissed the devastation with “accidents will happen” and after surveying the damage, started planning a replacement kitchen. I was truly astonished at their reaction, especially Joan’s, and it was to be a good few years before I got to know her full life story and at last understand how she could be quite so magnanimous.
Joan Betty Smith was born in Forest Gate on the 26th of January 1919, arriving into a country devastated and impoverished by the so called ‘Great War’. Little is known about her early years; no doubt times were hard but she clearly did well at school and it was there that she met John Fuller who, as it turned out, was to share her life for the next 5 decades.
By the time she was 21 Britain was again at war, and John enlisted with the RAF. They married in November 1940 and it’s hard to imagine how Joan must have felt about the possibility that one day he might not come back; indeed, early in 1942 John was reported missing in the Middle East and Joan was pregnant with their first daughter Andrea. This proved to be an administrative error, but later that year John was critically injured in a crash in Canada from which thankfully he recovered completely.
In 1948 second daughter Susan made her appearance and two years later John was posted to Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) where, according to Joan, conditions were appalling - no air conditioning then - very little social life and bugs & beasties were everywhere. And it was here that
tragically they lost their third daughter Judith, aged 2, to food poisoning - every parent’s worst nightmare. That they got through all of this is a testament to both Joan & John’s strength of character; postings to Germany & the UK followed and John was demobbed in 1955.
After a fraught time in their early life together, then now things took a turn for the better. Although not quite retired - John was working for Barclay’s Bank and Joan in a local Estate Agent - ‘Hatherleigh’, their cottage in West Chiltington became a constant source of delight. They were eager to share their home & garden with the rest of the family - the grandchildren spent many happy holidays there and were most impressed to discover a strawberry field over the back wall!
Later, it became clear that the garden was becoming too much to manage and so they moved a few hundred yards up the road to a bungalow they renamed “Challows”. Here they lived happily until John’s untimely death from cancer in 1992. Joan, although devastated, somehow found the courage to continue a busy social life - from flower & theatre clubs to Scottish dancing and travelling to Greece with old RAF friends. She also accompanied Andrea & her husband Malcolm to several European cities.
Finally of course, her advanced years took their toll and travel became an impossibility. Although virtually housebound and with failing sight, she was content to rest in her garden whenever weather permitted and defy whatever ailment old age contrived to throw at her.
At a recent family gathering she met all 6 of her great grandchildren, including two from the USA.
Joan’s last year was spent at Kew House care home in Wimbledon, London, where the lovely staff also discovered how formidable she could be! She died peacefully in St George’s Hospital, Tooting on the 16th April, 2018 after a brief illness.
Joan was in her hundredth year; West Chiltington proved a happy haven for so many of those years and the village will always have a very special place in the entire family’s hearts.
Jim & Sue Brooker
Granny with Angela, Toby, and Charlie
Comments