In loving memory of Carol Christine Sonola who sadly passed away on 18th February 2018
Beloved wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.
Carol was born on Christmas Day in 1949. She was one of ten children and she lived in Tile Hill, Coventry until she married Gori and left to live in Zambia in 1973.
As Gori and Carol's family grew, they lived as expatriates in Zambia, Nigeria and Papua New Guinea, returning to the UK in the early 1990's. During her time living abroad, she achieved a degree and qualification as a Montessori teacher and was the head teacher for her years in Papua New Guinea
In the UK, she returned to work for the social services ensuring the care and welfare of children and vulnerable women until she retired in 2007.
Tribute to my Sister, Carol Sonola.
It was in the Fall of 1971 that I first met you. I was on my way to the USA with my four-month-old son and you met me in the doorway of your flat with your baby daughter, Mickela in one arm and with the other hand you gathered my son. Perhaps the fact that both babies were born two days apart cemented our kinship at first sight and melded us into one forever sisterhood. Whatever it was, you became part of me more than your husband, my big brother Gori could ever be.
I have always wondered what would make a lovely English rose follow a Yoruba man first to Zambia, then to his home in Lagos, Nigeria and then to Papua New Guinea. I guess you were a rambling rose at heart and with unquestioning love and devotion followed your husband wherever his work took him and raised my nieces and nephew to the upstanding adults they now are. Your legacy is written in gold. But I salute your parents, the Mcfarlanes, who gave you your wings early in life and the confidence to traverse the universe. I remember them, particularly your Mom, with fondness, and for the fact that we never took that trip from Coventry to London that she last visited in the ‘50’s. It was our private joke. But you really traveled the world, getting caught up in erupting volcanoes in Iceland or wherever the wanderlust took you. I remember reading your journals on a three-week transatlantic cruise you took from Barbados to England. Your last trip two years ago was with four generations of your family. You glowed with happiness in the enclave of your loved ones on that vacation.
How can I thank you Carol, for the care and love you showed my Mom, the Mama in Mickela’s newly published book, Angels and Dead Dogs, and the support you gave me when she passed unexpectedly and way too soon? Or for that matter for the happy and irreverent times we shared when you lived in my house in Ile-Ife. Oh, for the languorous times we had at the Staff Club with you having your cigarette and Scotch and me my cold beer, both habits for which Pa SKO Sonola scolded us any time he caught us so indulging ourselves. We also both secretly hoped our combined five kids then were not up to anything dangerous. But since I see them all here, your belief that children will land on their feet in their own time is true after all.
In the last two decades, I have made a habit of visiting you in your lovely home once a year for a week. You always complained that the visits were too short. On one such trip you drove me and my daughter Oreoluwa to Shakespeare’s birthplace for the culture of it, definitely not for the bitterly cold weather. Just an example of your kindness to me at all times. Whenever I was in any part of England for any reason, I came to your house just to be spoiled. You even allocated a chair for my comfort right in front of your fireplace where you plied me with coffee round the clock and my favorite fish and chips for dinner once during every trip.
I fondly recall Carol, all my trips mostly in Winter when all we did was talk and catch up on family news. We mostly went to the city center more to talk than to do any major shopping. Can it really be that we have done our last Tesco outing, or that you will no longer be in Bedworth next time I come? I was going to come a little later this year for my annual visit and to thank you and your very loving children for taking the time out to come to celebrate my 70th birthday in your house a year ago. I was going to return the favor when yours came around. But…
Do you notice Carol, that I haven’t even mentioned your husband in all of this? That is for a reason. The story of your four decades and more of marriage is his to tell. I can only thank you for the unalloyed love for and devotion to my brother. You took such good care of him that he would call you from Lagos or wherever he was in the world to ask your opinion as to his meals or medication for his ever-querulous stomach.
My husband, Kayode whom you also spoiled shamelessly with your hospitality and our children and indeed the entire Ojutiku clan are all devastated by your passing as are our two other siblings, Agboola and Olusola, and the entire Sonola family. I am still numb and unaccepting but take consolation in the fact that you are now beyond the physical tribulations of the last few years. So, our Carol, my Carol, on behalf of all of us, I wish you a triumphant passage into the higher realm like the true victor that you are. May the Angels and all the hosts of Heaven continue to love you and keep you where our physical love can no longer reach you. Sleep well, my Carol. Goodnight.
Doyinsola
For the Ojutiku family.
A SHORT TRIBUTE TO CAROL
1. The loss of a mother, a grandmother, a sister, an aunt or a family friend brings much pain and is usually a sorrowful experience. In the passing of Carol, we have come to celebrate the life of a great lady; we are here to honour her memory and pay homage to her legacy.
2. With her family members and many friends, we join in paying this tribute to the life that she lived, so full of compassion, her nature loving and giving, a good neighbour, friend and a caring humanity.
3. It was clear to many of us that her end came too soon. Even as her health deteriorated, her family remained steadfast in fulfilling their mother’s wish. In the end, she died peacefully in the loving arms of her husband and children.
4. This final tribute we come to pay Carol is shared in equal measure with her friends. I bear witness to the loving care and comfort she gave to her husband and children. With a smile, I can recall her telling me some of the earlier experiences living abroad So much of her life and happiness centred on her husband and he was always there for her and making her the centre of his life and happiness.
5. He would sometimes tell me about her trials of cooking the many ethnic dishes. She was a mother whose interest in her family came high. And he was a husband and father who made her the sole concern of his life. He and her children tended to their mother’s needs right to the end and she will be truly pleased with them.
6. To Gori, I trust the time you spent with your Carol and the memories she has left you will add comfort and strength in your lonely moments ahead.
7. On earlier occasions I visited her home I would become a captive audience to her story about the choosing of her husband, about her family members, her marriage, and the fond memories of her yester- years.
8. It was as if her memories were filled with joys, happiness, fulfilment and later on a life of sickness and pains.
9. For me, her passing was a great shock. She had many stories to tell about her life and that she did. While her passing should remind us that tomorrow is not promised to any of us for Carol she was blessed with a good life and now she has come to the end of her earthly pilgrimage.
10. Carol, you are not just a memory or part of the past. You did your best for your family, your caring hands are now at rest, we thank you, we honour you, we celebrate you, we will miss you, and we shall always remember you as long as life lasts
12. To Gori - MAY GOD’S COMFORT ABOUNDS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AT THIS TIME
And to Carol - May you find eternal rest and may your soul rest in peace
Donations in memory of Carol are supporting local charity Doorway, Working with Homeless Young People in Warwickshire. If you wish to make a donation online, please click here.
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