My father, my father, my lord, my shepard,
I now realise wot that means,
Joshua Oluwade Awofesobi
My protector
My guardian
My father
I go back to the days i believe my existance began and i see things i dint understand until now,
I remember growing up, waking each day, excited to see my mother and father as i left my room to see what the day would bring, i remember they was the first thing id think about.
When i think of my father i now understand that he is loving proof that there is hope, that our lives are our own, that we have a choice, that i can, he blessed me with the power of ambition, he equipped me with what i needed to get through hell itself.
Each time i saw my father, i remeber feeling a sense of self realisation, he took the time to care about the things i could never see, i always knew that, every living second i feel his conscience guiding me through my troubles, i can surely say he accomlished his mission.
As our lord blessed me with my existance, he blessed me with a strong, caring mother, like minded in his ideals, who would share the light and love he had for her with every soul she passed, like him she carried the same passion for hope, love, and righteousness, together they blessed me with siblings i can only love and admire, only greatness can be produced by the light they have.
Christiana - my sister
Amos - my brother
Julius - my brother
From the day i existed they have inspired me alongside my father and mother, i recognise that my father was the root of everything i am. I have spent years searching for the love i thought i lost, i tried everything to get back what i lost, i tried so hard and did not realise that it was in front of my face the whole time. I miss him, since the day he passed away i do not feel the same. However i feel that i am now the person i have tried to be my whole life.
This makes me understand that we cannot worry, we cannot control our paths, as WE are not in control, all we can do is love what you are and what you have, or prepare to lose everything you love at a time you do not expect. I feel so close to my father, closer than i have ever felt to anything, it is the same force that makes me love my family, partner and children. This has left me at the conclusion that my father always knew that i didnt love myself as much as he loved me.
I realise now that the thing that protected me at times i should have fell was my father his conscience, values and ideals.
I knew the only person i thought i was letting down was my father when it was really myself. I was ashamed of what i was but did not understand why he still kept trying with me, such mercy, forgiveness and paitence, such love. Losing my father made me see that. I just wish i could show him what he has done. I can now love properly and play my role as a father, brother and son better than ever. I know he would be so proud of what he created. His pride, his praise, his smile completes me. I vow to spread the love he gave me in his name. Joshua Oluwade Awofesobi.
My protector,
My guardian
My father.
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