Andrew Ian Farrington (8 Nov 1956 - 1 Dec 2017)

Sorry to hear about my father's brother, my uncle passing

What follows is the script of the service to celebrate Andy’s life on
Friday 22nd December 2017 at the Garden of England Crematorium, Bobbing, Sittingbourne.

The Celebrant, Bridget Sapiano was …….. simply wonderful.

Entrance Music – Autumn Leaves - Eva Cassidy

Welcome and Introduction

Good afternoon, my name is Bridget and I would like to offer you all a very warm welcome as we unite here today in both love and friendship - not just to say goodbye, but more importantly to pay tribute, honour and to celebrate the life of Andrew Ian Farrington, known to all of you here as Andy.

Although we are primarily here today to celebrate Andy’s life, I do appreciate that for some of you this is a very sad and difficult day as we say our farewells. Andy’s illness and his leaving us has happened so quickly, that understandably many of you are struggling with disbelief and shock that we are gathered here to say our goodbyes to this very genuine and big hearted man. There is no doubt that he has been taken from you all far too early, and if there is one thing that we can take from his loss it is the value of cherishing your loved ones each and every day. This is a philosophy that Andy and his family lived by, something they are so grateful for now.

As we say our goodbyes today, I have been told, by those closest to Andy, that he wasn’t the sort of person who would want any of you to remember him in sadness but rather with love and smiles. So his family have thought about today’s service and don’t want it to be just be about mourning his passing – but more importantly for it to also be a true celebration of his life, and for us to reflect on the many good and happy moments of his life along with the memories he made whilst here with us. They want us to remember what a wonderful man Andy was, his qualities and the role that he played in your own lives. With this being the focus of our service, I appreciate there may well be some tears, but hopefully there will also be a few smiles too if you remember the Andy you knew and what he meant to you.


Andy fought his illness with both strength and courage – he tried very hard not to let cancer define the way he lived his life with his family – and they were so very proud of how he battled to stay with them. He didn’t want to leave us – but sadly we cannot change what has happened, however we can honour his memory by offering love and support to those he leaves behind, in particular his wife, Lynn, sons Thomas and Ian, the rest of his immediate family, and his close friends. Grieving is the hard and painful, yet integral part of the healing process which all of us deals with in our own way, but is of importance to acknowledge it. Now is the time to come together and help all those closest to Andy through these difficult times ahead. As a husband and father, Andy’s biggest concern was leaving his family behind, to him they were his world, and offering your love and support to them at this very difficult time is something that would have meant a great deal to him.

As some of you know Andy was not a religious man, therefore in respect to his beliefs his funeral service is not going to be traditionally religious. However he did have his own values and moral compass that guided his every day actions, words and deeds. From what I have gathered he was a true gentleman, who meant so much to so many of you. His very dear friend and HSBC colleague Jenny would like to come up now and share with you tributes to this very special gent. I’d like to introduce Jenny Birdi.

“Andy worked at HSBC for 16 years and over that time he was not just a good colleague but also became a close friend to many of those with whom he worked at HSBC across the world, no matter how long or how short he worked with them. Pat Clinton, aka PLC, interviewed /recruited Andy when he came to HSBC audit for a job. He told Pat that he had worked in a Midland Bank branch but left as he found it a bit boring and wanted a more challenging job. Thus he began his audit career.

Andy worked with PLC on the BSkYB audit two weeks after he started. This was a very high profile review and Pat found Andy to be the complete auditor. PLC told me that and for him, Andy was one of the standout individuals, a wonderful warm person, capable in all he did, and many benefited from his experience. He also told that Andy was very proud of his family and on more than one occasions they shared thoughts about the importance of family life. And of course a pre-requisite to be a good Auditor, Andy liked a fag and a pint.

When we asked colleagues for memories, anecdotes and stories of colleagues’ time working with Andy, the emails poured into my in box. Too many to do justice to today.
Without fail, though, all of them told how wonderful caring, considerate, funny, informed and interesting Andy was to work with and know, although one of them did tell of his fondness for carnivorous plants!

These emails came in from across the world. Priscilla in Hong Kong wrote how supportive Andy was when she first started working with him, and how he gave her the confidence to present her work to others.

Gemma wrote of Andy’s travels to the far North (well Sheffield) to present a town hall meeting on Operational Risk - one of his passions. Andy was an excellent mimic and impersonator and presented his speech as a member of the Italian mafia – giving Al Pacino a run for his money! I am sure that many people there that day also remember far more about the subject of Operational risk than they would otherwise have done.

Andy could, as Denise says, make topics like Audits, Risks and Regulations both comical and theatrical, and his colleagues always looked forward and enjoyed meetings with Andy as a consequence – a very rare thing to say about an Auditor!!

John Bromwich who travelled on audits with Andy across the world regularly during his audit years says that the journeys never dragged and always flew by as Andy regaled him with tales and stories.

Sean told of the more social side of work when they went out for dinners at off-sites for example. Sean once accompanied Andy to an off-site dinner at a restaurant where all of the staff were trained opera singers and liable to break into song mid-serving. Of course Andy was immediately singled out for attention by one of the waitresses and took it in good spirits as he was serenaded as part of the performance.

Andy was also always very articulate and eloquent in written communications. His audit reports were always a pleasure to read, not least to try to identify the most unusual word or phrase he had been able to get past a review by Jerry, our boss at the time.

However, a story from John Moran by far superseded any tales I could tell of this. Andy was reviewing a document that would subsequently go to the Bank of England and the Regulator. Andy took the liberty of making some further final adjustments to the document to simply and clarify. When John read the final draft, he was ‘lost for words’ when he finally found the changes that Andy had made, for in the middle of the section headed ‘Guidance for an Effective Commentary’, he had simply written

“I keep 6 honest serving men (they taught me all I know);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.”
The Elephants Child by Rudyard Kipling

My own favourite memory of Andy is of his immediate offer of help when I was faced with a difficult dilemma when seconded to Vietnam. We had a Siamese cat (Teddy), who had cancer and who we could not take with us to Vietnam. I was chatting to Andy and happened to mention this. He immediately and without hesitation offered to take Teddy and look after him, knowing both that he would have to take him for regular treatment and also that he would not survive for too long. I am afraid therefore that we are therefore responsible for the Farrington families’ Oriental Cat obsession!

But this just summed Andy up. His care and compassion knew no bounds and even in those last months, as he himself faced the biggest battle of his life, he was still thinking of others rather than himself. He arranged a men’s health web-ex session in HSBC to promote awareness of men’s cancers. It was communicated far and wide across HSBC, and had a large global audience. Sadly Andy was not well enough on the day to tell his own story on the web-ex. I was very honoured to be able to tell Andy’s story on his behalf, knowing that if we prompted just a few men on that call to get checked out, then we had achieved Andy’s goal and aim.

Words cannot really do justice to the colleague and friend that Andy was to us all, but we carry his memories with us in these stories that I have shared with you today, and the many more with which to remember him by.

I know that I speak on behalf of all of Andy’s colleagues when I say that we will all miss him greatly. In the words of many of his colleagues who wrote to me, he was a True Gent.”


Thank you Jenny. Last week I had the chance to meet up with some of Andy’s family and we talked about him, his life and what he meant to them, I would like to now share some of that conversation with you in the form of a eulogy.


Eulogy

Andrew Ian Farrington was born in Minster the Isle of Sheppey on the 8th November 1956 to parents Ron and Dot. He was their second child and had one older brother David. Growing up he was a bright lad with a curious mind who loved to soak up knowledge; apparently he was never without his head in a book. His Mum used to tell him you “wont get anywhere in life with your head always stuck in a book!” Luckily he chose to ignore that pearl of wisdom from his wise old Mum! He was close to his Mum and Dad, and he enjoyed working with his father in the allotment and had some memorable family holidays in Butlins. He attended Westlands School in Sittingbourne, and because the school didn’t do A Levels and Andy who knew that he wanted to go to University took night classes to study the A Levels he needed to get into Uni. Even as a teenager he had a quiet, but steely determination to his character trait that never left him, if he wanted to learn he always found a way. He passed his A levels and then went onto Kent University where he studied for a degree in Industrial Relations. Throughout his teenage years, he wasn’t someone who enjoyed pubbing and clubbing, preferring to sate his mind through books and being with like-minded people. He also enjoyed model making of aircraft and such intricate models, both airplanes and flying piqued his curiosity and flying was a hobby that he actually did in his later years, both with a computer and in reality.

In his early twenties it was the start of what we now know was the revolution of the computer within offices. This was a big deal in its day, and a subject matter that intrigued young Andy from the start. Subsequently computers, how they work, their programmes and how to use them to their full potential became a huge passion of his. And yet again it was through books that he learnt all he could about computers - it is an impressive fact that Andy was a man who in everything he did he was completely self -taught. This was a man who read the instructions!!

On leaving University he got his first job with the Kent Careers Service, starting off helping out with general admin and progressing to become a qualified careers officer. It was whilst here that one day his office was to take delivery of several boxes containing brand new computers for all its employees. For the majority of the staff these computers represented a Pandora’s box, a lot of people were very hesitant to embrace this new technology, but for Andy it was quite the opposite and he was in heaven. With great enthusiasm and much encouragement from his colleagues who had no idea how to use these machines, he ended up setting up the whole department and teaching his colleagues how to use the computers. As you can imagine, in those early days he was in constant demand by all the many employees of the careers service and his reputation spread far and wide amongst the whole central office that he was the “go to man” if you had a problem with your computer. For Andy it was a natural fit, he understood computers and loved them so he couldn’t have been happier. It wasn’t long before his talents were recognized and he was promoted to the position of computer auditor for KCC. Andy loved his work, for him computers were a joy and helping, guiding and checking the data was being used properly, was very enjoyable to him.

As to his personal life, in the year1990 whilst Andy was working at B.E.T., he was to meet his future wife, Lynn Alderson. This was before the days of on line dating, and in his quest for romance Andy put a personal ad in the local newspaper hoping to find love. He was inundated with 77 responses, (the wording on the advert was very persuasive), and he through his own selection process he whittled it down to three ladies he would like to meet up with. The first date wasn’t a success and the second date, which was with Lynn, started in the rather glamorous surroundings of Medway Service Station. He had said to Lynn you will know who I am as I will be wearing flowers, she thought he would have a rose in his lapel – she was confronted with this big man wearing a loud leery Hawaiian shirt! She couldn’t help thinking OMG is he a freak? And then she started laughing, to be fair it did break the ice between them. Despite his shirt and their location, their first meeting was a huge success and date lady no 3 was subsequently cancelled. On their second date they went to London to the theatre to see Miss Saigon and Andy soon learnt that Lynn was a very independent lady as she insisted on paying for her own ticket, despite him having already bought them - he really was a gent and she is a fiercely independent lady – they both realised that this was the start of something special. Love blossomed for them both, indeed Andy was not just a gent but had a big romantic streak and Lynn recalled that whenever he turned up to take her out he presented her with a single red rose. They dated for a couple of years and then moved into together, they both knew without doubt that they had found the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. They were both keen to start a family and were thrilled on the arrival of their first son Thomas who was followed by Ian to complete their family.

They made their partnership official by getting married on the 16th September 1993. They had a very happy marriage, Lynn said of Andy that he wasn’t just a good husband and father, but he was a good man and her soul mate. He was a very loving husband and they could talk, laugh, love and cry together, and he was always there for her whatever she needed. Over the years as with most married couples they had their ups and downs, times where their love was tested, but Andy never wavered, he was kind and patient and solid. Whatever problems they had they worked through and came out all the stronger as a couple. Obviously they had many plans for the future, which are now sadly not going to be realised. Their dream was to sell up and buy somewhere in the country where Andy became a beekeeper and then he and Lynn were going to sell her craft work and his honey at local markets and county shows. They also wanted to travel, Bali and New Zealand were two countries on their itinerary and Lynn has vowed in his honour she and the boys will still take at least one of those trips next year. Understandably at the moment she is devastated that he has left her so early – and feels very lost without him. However she treasures the 27 years that they had together and feels so very lucky that they found one another and shared a wonderfully happy life as man and wife. She will miss him desperately but knows that he will always be part of her as all she has to do is look at her sons to know that he will never really leave her.

Whilst married, Andy was to have the joy of becoming a Dad to his two children Thomas and Ian. Both his sons said that Andy was a wonderful Dad, they shared a special bond with him, and he was a wonderful role model and instilled in them the value of a close family. Growing up he was hands on father, not strict in anyway, in fact they both he was a big old softie. He had a talent for putting on silly character voices and they both vividly recalled him reading them stories at night, particularly the Harry Potter series, where every character in the book had a different voice – they loved his reading so much that he was still reading them bedtime stories when they were about 10! He was always patient with them however there was one time that Thomas remembered where he tested that patience to its limits – they were on a family holiday to Disney Land in Florida, a holiday destination they all loved and Thomas was desperate to go on the Dumbo ride, unfortunately for Andy the queue for the Dumbo ride was 2 and half hours, but his son wanted that ride so being a great Dad he queued for all that time. Finally it was their turn and as they went around in their flying Dumbo, which was a very dull ride, it seemed to Andy that it was over in the blink of an eye. But Thomas loved it and as soon as he got off he said to his Dad “again, again – understandably there was no way on earth that Andy was going to do it again, and as he persisted and whined, as only small children can, Thomas said that was the closest his Dad every got to strangling him – I’m sure all parents here can relate to that story! As a man and a Dad he always provided for his family and for both Thomas and Ian he was a father they not only loved but also respected and admired, especially in what he had achieved in his career. The fact that he was self-taught in all that he did made him all the more amazing. He was always encouraging with their academic studies and so proud of their achievements, both boys getting to Uni and Thomas actually getting a first class honors degree, it doesn’t get better! He was a Dad they could talk to, and also a great listener who would always have a well-reasoned argument that made you think, but in addition to this you could have a laugh with him. Along with this he was the human oracle when it came to computers, only if it was a PC though - Macs were the devil’s work! Any computer problem – he could solve it and as you do, he even showed his boys how to put a computer back together again, not something that most Dads can do! He was a father who was always there with love and support and guidance, a great Dad, who they know that because of the love they shared will be with them always, and they in turn intend to do their best to continue to make him proud.

As regards his working life, after KCC he moved onwards and upwards to a company called BET. After being made redundant from here he then set up on his own with a colleague where he was a freelance computer audit consultant. Not long after this he was offered a job with the Woolwich Building Society from which he moved onto his current company HSBC Bank based in London. He was to work here for 16 years and as you have already heard he was a very popular and highly regarded member of the team. Andy worked hard in order to provide for his family, a responsibility he took very seriously. However his loved ones never truly understood the high esteem in which he was held in his work place. Over these last few weeks since his passing they have been so touched by the many messages of condolence they have received from his many friends and colleagues. Phrases such as, “ a great boss”, “a leader and a gentleman”, “so highly thought of” have been used time and time again – which for them is so lovely to hear and has made them realize how valued he was and how deeply missed he is by many friends and colleagues at the bank.

When I asked his family to describe his personality it became very obvious that Andy was without a doubt a very loving man where his family were concerned, but also a very likeable man to all those who met him. He had a big heart, a wicked and somewhat dark sense of humour, along with a very kind and generous side to his nature. He was quite traditional in his mannerisms and the words “perfect gentleman” and “dignified” seemed very appropriate for his character. I understand he firmly believed in manners, politeness and was stickler for punctuality, something that Lynn could vouch for, if they were going out she would be running round trying to get ready and he would sit and wait for her and then his exasperation would come through with the words “are you finally ready now?” He had an organized mind and liked routine and always planned and prepared for things. He was a confident man, comfortable in his own skin, but also very modest, and a great conversationalist on a one to one basis. Apparently he had a great way with words, both spoken and written, and could be quite playful and provocative in his reasoning which could lead to some interesting family debates! He wasn’t a man who got irate really, though anything that came out of Donald Trumps mouth could get him hot under the collar, he had quite strong opinions about politics both in the UK and the States.

Andy was a man who liked to keep busy and had many hobbies and interests. He wasn’t someone who liked going out to pubs, preferring to be in the company of his family, this included his extended family. He got on very well with his brother-in -aw Ian and he and his niece Sally used to love a get together as the pair of them would always partake in some form of lively discussion and debate. He very much enjoyed family holidays and they all have some wonderful memories of times in Cyprus, California and especially Florida, he was in his element when he visited Epcott and NASA whilst in Florida. Lynn recalled a funny incident a few years back whilst on their honeymoon in Bali – being young and adventurous they decided to try white water rafting. When on the raft their instructor explained that if during the ride anyone fell out of the boat they were to keep calm, float on their backs, knees bent and the boat would come and pick them up in due course. The ride started and from the off it was full of spills and thrills and lots of laughs for Lynn, Andy and the other tourists in the boat. Half way through a fellow rafter noticed that someone was missing form their boat – Lynn looked out to see who it was and then realised that it was actually her new husband - who was doing exactly what he had been told, floating calmly on his back with his knees bent – the boat picked him up and he was fine physically, however he was rather miffed that his new wife hadn’t even noticed that he had been thrown overboard and was missing!! They did laugh about it later!

Where Andy worked hard he did like to relax in his home and a big hobby of his was his garden. He really enjoyed gardening and would spend a lot of time being green fingered outside pottering. He specialized in cultivating orchids. Though rather strangely for a gardener he did have a phobia of worms, if he saw one in the garden he would have to call Lynn to come and remove it. Once for a joke his son Ian bought him a tin of chocolate worms for Fathers day – he couldn’t bring himself to eat them. Another big passion of his was flying and he would sit for hours on his home computer doing simulated flights. For his 55th birthday his family treated him to ride on a hydraulic plane simulator for the 737, a model that pilots train on – of course he landed it perfectly. He even took several flying lessons in a light aircraft, which again he mastered very quickly. He also loved to cook and I understand he was responsible for the majority of the cooking in the house. All of his family said he was very good at Italian food especially, and when he was in the kitchen whatever nationality food he was cooking, his silly voices and accents of that country would come out to make the meal all the more authentic, so he not only cooked but entertained as well! He did enjoy his food, indeed fine dining along with good wine was one of the joys in his life and he and the family always celebrated any special occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries, by going out somewhere nice. To relax he liked sitting at his computer and he did enjoy a bit of TV, his favourties being Red Dwarf, Star Trek and Dr Who – as you can see there is a bit of theme running here.

Looking back Andy had everything to live for; he had a happy and full life that was enriched by a loving family who were his world. He was a very content man. However as we all know life can be very cruel sometimes and in July of this year he began to feel unwell. He underwent tests where much to the shock of both him and his family he was then diagnosed with bowel cancer.
He put up a brave and valiant fight, undergoing the treatment that he was offered to try and beat it, but cancer can be a savage illness and despite his best efforts, along with the unconditional love and support of Lynn and the boys who were by his side 24/7 it just wasn’t to be. Lynn is so glad that they were able to grant his last wish, he was desperate to spend his last days at the home he loved and so she insisted that he come home from the hospital. Having him at home meant a great deal to her and the boys and subsequently Andy, very peacefully and with a dignity that befitted the true gentleman he was, passed away on Friday 1st December, with his loved ones all close by – he was 61 years old. His family is understandably heartbroken that he has left us, but they take some solace that he is no longer suffering and that in his last few months they all had their chance to say their own goodbyes. Looking back they take comfort that whilst here with us he had enjoyed a very happy and rewarding life of which they were a huge part - he will be very missed but never forgotten as we don’t forget those we love and Andy Farrington was a very very loved man.

You will all have your own special memories of Andy, we are now going to take a moment to listen to a track that he requested be played today. Whilst we listen take this time to reflect and to remember Andy as you knew him, maybe recall a special time that you spent with him, or just because you are going to miss him. Also use this moment to offer up any prayers to go with Andy on his onward journey and to say your own personal and private goodbyes....
Reflection Music – Shower the People – James Taylor

I now want to share a poem with you on behalf of Andy’s family as their last goodbye to him.

Poem for Andy - from Lynn, Thomas and Ian

As We Look Back

As we look back over time
We find ourselves wondering ….
Did we remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for us?
For all the times you were by our sides
To help and support us ….
To celebrate our successes
To understand our problems
And accept our defeats?
Or for teaching us by your example
The value of hard work, good judgement,
courage and integrity.
We wonder if we ever thanked you
For the sacrifices you made.
To let us have the very best?
And for the simple things
Like laughter, smiles and the times we shared.
If we have forgotten to show our gratitude
For all the many things you did,
We are thanking you now.
And we’re hoping you knew all along
How much you meant to us.

Committal and Farewell

Closing Words

Exit Music – Change the World – Eric Clapton

Reception to be held at The Family Home, 6 Nore Close, Darland, Gillingham, Kent ME7 3DG All Welcome

Andy you was a devoted family man with Lynn, Thomas and Ian being your world! You put up a spirited fight against an evil disease that snatched you away in the prime of your life.
You will be sadly missed by us all x

Andy was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, he was never afraid to be himself, the best way we can honour his memory is to try and be a bit more Andy. Even in the face of the worst adversity he tackled it with courage and good humour. He will be a constant inspiration. He lives on in all our thoughts.

I will always remember Andy's Kind words and encouragement when I decided to become a teacher as a mature student and buying one of my paintings. He was a thoughtful and lovely person. Rest in peace Andy.
Tina x