David Wakefield (25 Dec 1968 - 12 Sep 2017)

In loving memory of David Wakefield who sadly passed away on 12th September 2017. The dearly loved husband of Helen, dear dad of Joshua, Dominic, Leo and Alex, also, the much loved son of Vivian and Colin and brother of Samantha, Mark, Todd and Michael.

Where do you start to write about the love of your life .. our journey, our memories and our ultimate struggle. David was diagnosed with cancer last September. Our life was never to be the same again .. and yet we would have continued to fight on our knees forever if we could.

Suddenly my beautiful, strong, confident and independent man was at the mercy of this vile disease. Suddenly you find yourself in charge of everything .. calls, letters, appointments and care. Waves of sadness come over you again and again but I couldn't give in .. and David certainly wouldn't. He would often describe to me the impact of diagnosis, how you are just casually breezing through life and suddenly you get a tap on the shoulder .. you turn round and it's cancer .. there in all it's vileness saying 'it's your turn now'

We would talk for hours .. discussing miracle cures, travelling abroad, visiting different doctors .. but the prognosis always remained the same. I would lie in bed at night my brain in turmoil trying to find ways to 'fix' which always ended in anger and helplessness engulfing me like tidal waves. I started to cry alone at night because I noticed if I cried it was the only time David would .. the last time we cried together I found out why. He said if I was crying then he knew he had something to be worried about .. he trusted me that much, and it broke my heart despite throwing everything at it .. it couldn't save him. You live in a constant state of sadness watching the person you had planned forever with slowly fade away. Everything that life threw at us we mended, this ultimate cruelty was a task too great even for us.

David changed a lot over the past few years. We talked about regrets .. and things he wouldn't have changed for the world. He felt he had sometimes mis-invested his time. He said that if people die suddenly they never have the chance to reflect on their lives but he had got that opportunity and he was certainly going to take it. He told his lovely sister Samantha that his illness had in fact brought such positivity and meaning to his life but yet ironically would be the thing that would ultimately take it away.

David fought and fought .. I have never in my life met such a braver soul. Nor (even as a nurse) had I witnessed such suffering. Yet never once did he moan, complain, want sympathy or pity himself. The only time he told me off was when I wore the same clothes three days on the trot when visiting him at Weston Park!! ? I forgave him being the immaculate perfectionist he was .. coupled with the fact he apologised a hundred times for it! His sense of humour was something the cancer could not beat. Our last month with David was a unique, enriching experience, painful, spiritual and emotional, and yet he made us giggle like you could never imagine .. his wit and utter charm at their finest.

His last month was so difficult for the people who were the closest to David. We managed to get everyone he requested to see him .. but his suffering was immeasurable. Yet despite this he still never gave up hope and we were still planning our trip to York on New Years Eve to go the the Minister for the evening service and light a candle. It was my main aim to keep this hope alive and I am so thankful I managed to protect David from the timeline of his illness .. At least I was able to achieve something.

Davids passing was so peaceful with me and his wonderful sister Samantha holding his hand. That morning he had beeen loved by his Mum and Dad. After he passed I spent some time with him alone. He had patio doors in his room which he always wanted open no matter the weather! A beautiful large brown and cream butterfly appeared at the doors .. I started to get up from my seat as I thought it was going to enter his room .. it hovered there at the doors for around 5 seconds and then she flew away. I would like to think taking my beautiful Davids soul to heaven ??

I hope you have all found the time to read this as I really wanted to share this with you all. Please feel free to share your words and feeling here for David and if you have any photos please share them with us .. and light a virtual candle for him too, he would love that. David was a very private and dignified man and never a Facebook fan but I am so pleased I got him to try it at the beginning of his illness because the support you have all given him truly overwhelmed him .. and we thankyou from the bottom of our hearts for that.

I hope you can join us to celebrate Davids life at his funeral. Please feel free to wear whatever you like. David was never depressing or dull and he wouldn't want us to be. If I could request no flowers please and if you feel you would like to donate anything we have chosen St Johns Hospice .. which I actually cannot find words good enough to grace and Little Rainbows .. this is a small Doncaster based charity that provides activities for disabled children. Leo our son has benefited greatly from this charity and horse rides regularly with them and David has loved following his progress on the horse!

So this is where I finish .. but not the final destination of our love. The happiness I found with David was everlasting and our journey was certainly profound. No matter what life threw at us our bond could never be broken. This will never change with his passing. I love him eternally ..

Until we meet again ?????