Irene MacDonald (17 Jul 1934 - 18 May 2017)

In loving memory of Irene MacDonald who sadly passed away on 18th May 2017

Below is a copy of Irene's Eulogy:

Good morning. My name is Elizabeth Clarke. I am a Civil funeral Celebrant.
I warmly welcome everyone to Mortonhall today as we gather together to celebrate the life and honour the memory of Irene Macdonald who lived her life as a wonderful, daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and friend.
In coming here today you would quite naturally have thought that you were here to mourn Irene’s passing, but for the next little while, I would encourage you to join me in celebrating her life, to give thanks for the life that she lived, and for all that her life meant to us, and we will wish her a fond farewell now that our time with her is over.
Irene considered herself fortunate to have been healthy for the majority of her life, it was only in her later years that she began to show signs of dementia. For a while, she was able to live in her own house, but when it became apparent that she needed more care, Irene was moved, first to Cowan Court, and then to Pine Villa Nursing Home, where she received 24 hour care.
Sadly, having developed pneumonia, Irene peacefully passed away within the Care Home on the 18th May, 2017.
Let us be comforted from knowing that her mind is free from confusion, that she is now sleeping in a long and peaceful sleep and her spirit is free. Let us also be comforted from the thought that she has found her beloved Jimmy, and hope that they are together again for all time to come.
And now, as we sit here today, we will recall Irene’s life with respect and happiness. You see nothing can detract from the happiness and closeness you all shared with her. Nothing can detract from the joy of life that she knew. And nothing can affect your love for her or her love for you. It can never be altered by time, circumstance, or even by death. What has been, the past with all its meaning is sacred and secure. Be grateful that Irene was a part of your lives and give thanks for all the love, the laughter, the friendship and the inspiration that she brought into every one of your lives.

Remembering Irene …

Irene came into this world at 107 Broughton Road, Edinburgh, on the 17th July, 1934. Born to Robert and Jessie Grahamslaw, Irene had a brother Bobby, a sister, Dorothy, and a half-brother, Bruce. Sadly, Bobby died in 1982.

Irene attended Broughton Primary School followed by Bellevue Secondary where she apparently struggled with arithmetic and always got the belt for poor marks.

Irene was heavily involved with the Church from an early age and was a leader in the cub scouts.

She loved her grandparents Charles and Jessie Hamilton, and Mary Grahamslaw, and was a devoted daughter to her mother Jessie, keeping house while her mother worked. It may be that this is where her love of cleaning came from!

On leaving school, she began working for the firm of Millar & Bryce, Searches of Public Records and is where she met the love of her life, Jimmy Macdonald, and they were married on the 9th April, 1955, at Leith Registry Office. Irene continued to work with Millar and Bryce until they became very proud parents to Steven.

Soon after, her mother became ill with TB and so began a prolonged and lengthy time of both visiting her in hospital and looking after her when she came home.

Before Jeff was born, the family moved to Inchgarvie Court where, a few years later, Dorothy-Ann was born.

Irene and Jimmy strived to give their children the best education they could and all three went to Wardie Primary, a fee-paying school. Jimmy had missed so much of his education and he wanted the best for his own children.

Irene returned to work for Millar and Bryce when Dorothy-Ann was three years old, where she continued to work until she retired in 1994. Even as she retired, Irene kept in touch with ‘the girls’ at work, often meeting up for meals at The Standing Order, or they would send Irene cards and letters, and Irene was really chuffed when they came to visit her.

It was in 1972 that Irene and Jimmy took the plunge and bought their first and only house, in Penicuik – a three-bedroomed detached, for the princely sum of £7,105. They bid that extra five pounds for the house on the advice of their friend Joe Docherty, and what great advice that turned out to be, as their bid was highest by that very five pounds!!

The house they loved so much came at a price, though, as both Irene and Jimmy had to work long hours and lots of overtime.

In 1976 Jimmy became unwell and for the next sixteen years he battled with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Their life together was limited but when Jimmy was well enough they managed to enjoy a holiday in France with their friends Joe and Audrey Docherty, and visited Steven when they could as he was now living in the Cotswolds. They also enjoyed visits to Filey and Scarborough, spending time with Dorothy-Ann, Ian and family.

By now, Irene and Jimmy were very proud grandparents to Michael, Jeff’s son. Irene was unstinting in her care of Jimmy, her Mum, spending time with Michael and working. She was a totally selfless woman.

The family was devastated when Jimmy lost his battle for life and passed away on the 3rd of January, 1993.

More grandchildren arrived when Dorothy-Ann and Ian’s sons were born – Finlay and Fraser, together with Irene’s only granddaughter, Zoe, followed by Euan. With her life getting busier by the minute, Irene remained devoted in her care of her mother who passed away in 1999, but her excitement knew no bounds as she embraced the role of great-grandmother to Isla, Arran and Lewis.

I would now like to invite Zoe to say a few words in tribute to Irene, the grandmother:

“Throughout my granny’s life she met all of you at some point and to each and every one of you she was something different. To some of you she was a great friend who was always there for a good chat when you needed her. To some of you she was a mum who loved and cared for you all her life. To me, she was my granny.

Granny was – going to Lewisvale Park in Musselburgh then down to Lucas for an ice cream;
She was – singing me to sleep at night the songs that her granny had sung to her;
She was – trips to Portobello promenade and the arcade;
She was – playing board games all day, mostly Monopoly, Cluedo and sometimes even dominoes;
She was – dancing in the kitchen with me standing on her feet;
She was – trips on the bus to Hamley’s toy shop;
She was – Fab Ice Lollies and Vienetta ice cream;
She was – sitting in bed at night helping each other complete or crosswords;
She was – feeding the ducks in Musselburgh;
She was – a neighbour of Joyce’s;
She was – holidays in Filey and Scarborough with the Topleys;
She was – a comfy chair to Tasha our dog;
She was – trips to the Botanics;
She was – endless card games, trumps, switch, rummy;
She was – ginger buns and chicken soup;
She was – going to Jenners at Christmas time to see the massive tree;
She was – Mum of three, Granny to five and Great Granny to three;
She was – Sunday afternoons with Michael, Lisa, Isla, Arran and Lewis;
She was – giving Dad a row for making too much noise with the kids;
She was – the best Mum that Dad could have asked for;
She was – the best granny I could have asked for;

I will never forget the memories I have with my Granny and I am so grateful for all the time I got to spend with her. I really hope you are having the best time up there with Granddad Jimmy. I am glad you are now free with no more worries and no more illness. Just you two together again. Love you Granny.”

You all have so many wonderful memories of Irene, the Mum and the Granny and I really wish I could share them all with you right now but unfortunately we do not have the time. So here are just a few:

Jeff recalls being hit with a wooden spoon on a few occasions and having his mouth washed out with soap – but he’s not mentioned why! He recalls many stories about Millar and Bryce, the staff dances and outings and the ‘bonuses’ and his Mum bringing home huge books so that she could work overtime at home.

Her energy knew no bounds as she would get up early in the morning to do the washing before she went to work and come home in the evening to make tea for everyone, then doing the ironing and the cleaning and although, as a typical teenager, he didn’t do too much to help, Jeff now appreciates how hard both his parents worked, and how they instilled a real work ethic in him and how he is so proud of all that they achieved, considering their relatively poor upbringings.

His Mum even found the time to bake for Church coffee mornings in Penicuik and in Musselburgh her fruit loaf was legendary, just like her scones, traybakes – and lovely ginger buns.

Steven recalls his parents’ love of dancing, and going on holiday to Butlins in Ayr where he was ‘left in charge’ while they went out to dance the night away - and his prize? A Captain America Comic! He also remembers his Mum’s pristine white blouse and black skirt, her uniform for working in the evenings at Crawford’s restaurant.

Her sister Dorothy remembers being washed in the kitchen sink, with Irene singing little rhymes to her, and later on being taken to the Grand Picture House, to see ‘King Kong’, where she was promised an apple if she didn’t cry at the scary film!

Everyone who visited Irene was sure of a good feed – and she had a wide and varied menu, too – Spagbol, Salad, Steak pie, macaroni cheese, stew, beef olives, chicken and rice soup – and yes, more of those wonderful ginger buns!

She wasn’t just Granny to the family – Irene was everyone’s Granny – even to Michael’s friends and his wife Lisa, and to all the children of ‘the girls’ from Millar & Bryce. She loved taking photos and collectiing china pigs!

Irene loved her holidays to Filey and Scarborough, initially bringing grandson Michael with her. She just loved being part of a family; she didn’t ask to be taken anywhere or to do anything, but just enjoyed being in the company of her, daughter, son-in-law and grandsons – enjoying the lively chat and banter! Irene enjoyed walks along the seafront and cliff tops, visits to local gardens and garden centres and the big treat for the ‘boys’ was to be taken to Bonnets café for lunch! She was easy to please where food was concerned and enjoyed the family’s home-cooking with relish!

Euan remembers Grannie’s Scrabble tiles flying up in the air, every time the dog barked – she had a particularly keen ear and was always sensitive to noises of any description – but this was priceless and even made her laugh!

Irene continued to live in the house in Penicuik until a year after Jimmy died and eventually moved to Grove Street in Musselburgh where she spent eighteen happy years, supported by her neighbour and wonderful friend, Joyce Burns.

As time and her ill health progressed, Irene moved to Cowan Court, but only three years later, as her dementia progressed, she needed full time care and she became a resident in Pine Villa in Loanhead.

During her life time Irene had many friends and was well liked as she had a great sense of humour too. She was a bit of a worrier, but didn’t suffer fools and I am sure everyone will remember the look she gave you when she was less than impressed with anyone.

She was the lynchpin of the family, visiting Auntie Jean Hamilton & Cousin Jean Hamilton, regularly, and similarly, her aunt, Isobel Grahamslaw.

She had a great affinity with her grandchildren and loved having them to herself, enjoying the time that she hadn’t had with her own children. She would play endless games with them and could make a balloon provide hours of amusement for both herself and the grandchild involved!

Irene will be remembered by so many people for so many different reasons – such as her willingness to walk everywhere she went, her voluntary work with her friend, Nancy, at the ‘Hollies’, and with her sister, Dorothy, at the Oxfam shop, both in Musselburgh – and for her obsession for keeping her house clean. As a child, she wished that there were houses in Heaven to clean!

Irene’s son-in-law Ian and grandson Euan are sadly unable to be here today due to ill-health, as is her grandson Fraser, who is currently teaching in Beijing.

I know that Irene is going to be so very sadly missed by everyone who had the good fortune of knowing her.
Of course, you will all have your own thoughts and memories of Irene and so I now invite you all to take a few moments to think of her and what she meant to you. During this time of reflection we will listen to one of her favourite singers, Russell Watson, singing You Raise Me Up..
Words of Committal
Although we must now say our final goodbyes to Irene, please remember that it is only her body which we say goodbye to today – not her personality, her soul or her spirit which will remain alive forever in your minds and in your hearts. To live in the heart of another person is not to die – love doesn’t end with dying, or leave in the last breath, for someone you’ve loved so deeply, love doesn’t end with death.

(Could everyone please stand)

Irene, You closed your eyes and were taken to a beautiful place
And left us to try to understand.
Others are taken, this we know,
But you were ours and we loved you so.
You’ll be in our thoughts every single day
And in our hearts you will always stay.
A silent prayer and lots of tears too
We will always love and remember you.
Go with our love, in time we will understand,
Go with our blessing into Heaven’s caring hands.

(Please be seated)

Today, we have acknowledged our appreciation for the privilege of sharing a part of Irene’s life. Even though her death has meant a physical break in the links of the chain that binds you to each other, the influence and effect of Irene’s life is still evident now as we speak her name. And so we say that we are glad Irene lived. We are glad we saw her face. We are glad we felt her touch and heard her laughter. We will forever cherish the memory of Irene’s love of life, her loyalty to her family, her resilience, her wisdom, her friendship and most of all, her unconditional love.
We have been remembering with love and affection, Irene’s life which has sadly ended and now is the time for you to go out and continue living your lives enriched by her memory.

The family warmly invite those of you who are able, to join them at the Toby Carvery directly opposite the opening to the Crematorium, not only for refreshments, but also for the opportunity to share your own thoughts and memories of Irene with each other.
It is respectfully requested that a retiral collection be taken in Irene’s name in aid of Alzheimer’s Scotland, and so as you leave here today you will find a donation box and contributions, no matter how small, will be very gratefully received.

Finally, it only remains for me to thank each and every one of you for your presence here today, and those of you who have travelled far, I wish you a safe journey home, and I am sure, that if she was here, Irene would be humbled, if not a little proud, that you all came to say goodbye.
Thank you.