John Edward Mills (9 May 1930 - 12 Apr 2017)

In loving memory of John Edward Mills who passed away on 12th April 2017 Aged 86 Years.
He was much loved and will be sadly missed by all his family and friends.

John Edward Mills – My Father

John Edward Mills was born in 1930 and died aged 86 on 12th April 2017. Considering all the pranks he got up to, it’s a miracle he managed to live so long. He used to sing “luck be my lady tonight” when he measured and sawed a length of timber so perhaps lady luck was watching over him.

John’s father Arthur, was fit and active. He ran at the local athletics club. He worked as a postman for the GPO. John’s mother Dora, was “in service” at the big house. John’s parents may well have met when Arthur delivered letters to the big house but we can’t be certain.

Out of the three boys, John was the cheeky, mischievous one. He was popular with the local lads who sought entertainment and laughs around every corner. On one occasion, John had the bright idea of setting a farmer’s haystack alight to see who could run around the most times and still be able to put it out. John nearly managed three times when his mates ran away and the farmer grabbed him, and took him home to his mother.

On another occasion, during the war, aged about 10, John and his gang members found an unexploded bomb which they tried to detonate. They set about it with a hammer and screwdriver, they tried to set fire to it, they rolled it down a hill, and then finally, threw it off a bridge, but luckily for them, no explosion.

His sense of justice led him to stick drawing pins under the school bullies chair. The only trouble being that John, was the only one laughing when the bully sat down. John got six hard sharp whacks of the cane in the palm of his hand as punishment, which he accepted bravely by offering his hand back to the head master.

John lived at number 10 Northfield Road in Cobham. In 1948, aged 17 my mother Betty, moved into the house next door at number 11. John, a handsome young man tried to impress her with his teddy boy, slicked back, gunked up Vaseline or butter coated hair. That incidentally went rancid on occasions but Betty was too polite to tell him. It worked, she was impressed!

They started dating until the day Betty didn’t feel that she had his full attention, so she made a date with another guy. The rouse worked and John was alarmed at the prospect of life without her. He proposed, and they married in 1952. They were devoted to each other until she died in 2005 leaving him heart broken.

In 1949 John was medically examined for national service and was labelled as a ‘grade 4’ due to a heart murmur, the examining board told him never to exert himself. A “Grade 4 is defined as the following - This Grade will include all those who are totally and permanently unfit for any form of military service.”Ignoring medical advice, John enjoyed running and was a member of the athletics club just like his father. He later took up cycling and used to cycle long distances and also took part in cycling competitions.

All three Mills boys owned motorcycles. Early in their marriage John took Betty to Scotland in his BSA and sidecar. He didn’t think much to Scotland when they refused to allow Betty entry into a pub as it was reserved for MEN ONLY.

Times were tough and money was short. So, John and Betty moved into Number 10 with Arthur and Dora. They shared the house with John’s two Brothers, Mike and Pete, and Little Linda aged 18-months-old, when newly born David arrived. With eight people living in a small 2-bedroom council house and only an outside toilet It must have been a very difficult time for the young couple. Betty made this quite clear to her sister in law when she warned her “If Arthur and Dora invite you to live with them, say “no” or it will be the divorce courts for you!”

They managed to scrape together the money to move to a maisonette, then later a council house in Cobham. John, always a grafter worked as a delivery boy and then in a Joinery yard where he learnt some of his skills with wood that would serve him throughout his life. His father arranged for an interview with the GPO. John passed the interview and disappointed his father by choosing the telecommunications side instead of a being a postman like himself.

John travelled by motorcycle to Henley and Swansea for work and training with the GPO. In 1968 he passed his Telecommunication Technician exam with distinction. He was offered management positions throughout his career but chose to work out in the “field” or more precisely up and down ladders and in and out of holes fixing telephone lines and cables.

He was a smoker up until 1980. He must be one of the few men to have had their life SAVED by a woodbine cigarette! He was down a manhole trying to get the lighter spark to ‘catch’ and enjoy his smoke. He returned to the surface and the flame ignited without a problem. He surmised that the low oxygen gases had prevented the flame igniting and he was an extremely lucky man to have got out alive!

In 1972 John and Betty moved out of their council house and bought their own property at 10 Chestnut Close. The house cost £10,600 and consumed all of their savings, time and energy. John wanted to spend their savings on a new car but Betty insisted they buy the house. John was eternally grateful for her insistence and together they started on a project that would consume and enrich their lives.

The quaint house in the corner of the Close with the love-hearts cut out of the wooden shutters, the enveloping purple wisteria, the bright pink fuchsias, purple and yellow pansies and water brimming birdbath is a result of shear hard work and dedication.

John discouraged him, but David was showing an interest in motorcycles. John by now had shifted HIS attention to cars and was often seen polishing his V8 P6 red Rover with beige leather seats then his ‘Tank’, a blue Ford Zephyr that dominated the driveway and guzzled vast quantities of petrol and then his ‘Monster’, a green Jaguar XJ6 Mk 2.

John went to night school to learn how to dig the foundations, lay the bricks and of course his wood working skills were engaged in constructing the rafters of the roof. In 1973 he built a side extension. In 1974 he build a rear extension and in 1976 a front extension.

John was now building extensions in the evening and weekends as well as working full time for the GPO which in 1980 became British Telecom. He helped both neighbours either side of him to build their extensions as well as colleagues at work. He enjoyed improving people’s lives by improving their homes. Many times, he worked for nothing, sometimes he even PAID for other people’s building materials just so that he could finish the job for them.
He was a very generous man. A really good day for him would be to work on a building project while sipping a large whisky and feel like he’d used every hour and every muscle at the end of the day. This wasn’t always a recipe that worked for Betty and unfortunately, she would spend a day in the kitchen cooking for a husband that would get home filthy, shattered and very late! Once he fell off a roof and broke some ribs another time he broke his arm he refused medical intervention for both and just got on with it.

The generosity that John showed in his building projects was also a feature in every area of his life. John was selling one of his cars, a buyer turned up to view it. The buyer didn’t buy the car but went away with one of John’s jumpers as he looked cold and John insisted he put it on!

In 1980 John and Betty went on their first holiday abroad. They flew to Rhodes and spent two weeks in glorious sunshine, hired a motorbike and explored the island. It was an experience that they delighted in repeating up until Betty died. The house is now filled with Greek statues, ink drawings of Greek arches, plaques and Greek plates. Mementos of happy times. Just recently, when John was browsing YouTube clips on his iPad, he found footage of the Greek villages Betty and he explored all those years ago and was thrilled.

By far, the most important and most precious thing in John’s life was his Family, he devoted his time to them right up to the very end. John and Betty had four children Linda, David, Robert and Sheila. He discouraged David away from motorcycles because of the danger, but helped him repair and tinker with them anyway. He nursed Linda back to health following a serious cycling accident when he was 83 himself! He arranged an interview with BT for Robert and has spent endless hours improving his beautiful house. Sheila remembers at 5, standing on John’s hot brown tanned shoulders in the sea at Bognor and demanding more, more, more as he threw her high into the water.
John liked competitions, games and rewards. On the beach, he would say “see if you can get the stone in the bucket and I’ll give you 10p”

Many Christmas’s were spent at the family table with piles of pennies and two pence coins. John would be laughing and joking with cigarette and whisky in hand patiently explaining the game of three card brag and encouraging a win. He would always leave the table with nothing himself and make sure the children learnt to win and lose gracefully.

One of John’s children recently asked him “I’m thinking of giving up my second job at the weekend, money is tight but I’m exhausted, what should I do?” John’s wise words were spoken with thought, empathy and insight. He said “You won’t bring home so much money BUT if you carry on working you won’t ever get that time back and it’s precious”.

John was very proud of his nine Grandchildren; Emma, Donna, Philip, Charlotte, Stephanie, Megan, Rachel, Laura and Liam. He was a great grandfather to Jade, Nicole, Amber, Summer, Luke, Elizabeth and Matilda. And in 2016 he became a Great, Great Grandfather to Henley and Lexi.

Some of the phrases John used were:- “Good for you!”, “Bless your heart”, “Another botched job!”, “Ho ho ho well done my boy”, “Just a bit of fun”, “Good girl!”, he was full of praise.

John was interested in current affairs, formula one racing, golf, snooker, horse racing as well as football and other sports. He was an incredible man full of fun, spirit, courage and determination.

He was still taking on building projects at 83! It was only recently, in the last two years, that his body gave way and he wasn’t able to be as mobile as he wanted. He refused all assistance of help and somehow managed to remain independent to the very end.

He lived his life without drama or fuss and he died peacefully at home in his bed of pneumonia following a spell in hospital. In 2006 he bought the car of his dreams, a Porsche.

The week he died, he chose the winning horse in the Grand National called “One for Arthur”
He chose a glass whisky, instead of water, He smiled as Frank Sinatra sang, he closed his eyes and sipped away.