Reuben Balarsky (26 Apr 1924 - 29 Dec 2016)

In loving memory of Reuben Balarsky or Ralph as everyone knew him. Ralph passed away on Thursday December 29th at his home at 10 Queen Mary Avenue, Glasgow at the grand old age of 92. Ralph passed away peacefully surrounded and comforted by his family. Ralph leaves a loving wife Sadie and devoted daughter Ann, step son Norman and son-in-law George and grandchildren Steven and Andrew as well as other family members and many, many friends. We will miss Ralph terribly and he leaves a big hole in our lives.

Ralph was a very positive and friendly man who loved life and family and was very contented. Those who knew him well would appreciate these things and for those who knew him less well I hope you see this from the following experiences.

Ralph was born in Glasgow, on 26th April 1924. His family home was in 132 South Portland Street in the Gorbals in Glasgow.

Ralph was one of five children; two older sisters Fanny and Elizabeth (Betty), a younger sister Evelyn and an older brother Solemon. His father Joe Balarsky was a Jewish immigrant from Belarus who settled in Glasgow after fleeing the pogroms in Russia in the early 20th century.

As a young boy growing up in the Gorbals he loved playing football but his forte was table tennis. At this stage in his live this was the love of his life (apart from his love for Jewish cuisine particularly chicken soup and kneidlach). Ralph was a member of the Glasgow Jewish Institute table tennis team and enjoyed spending many evenings playing table tennis at the Glasgow Jewish Institute.

At school Ralph particularly enjoyed maths and throughout his life he enjoyed puzzles and crosswords. At the age of 15 he left school and followed his father’s trade as a cabinet maker. Sadly his young sister tragically died and shortly after his dear mother Sarah died from a broken heart.

At 17 years of age Ralph left for London but his love for family and the Gorbals drew him back. This though was short lived as he enlisted in the army and was soon posted to a regiment in Suffolk. Ralph’s regiment was part of the D-day landings at Arromanches France and he finished the war in Germany. He loved telling people of this fact particularly in the closing years of his life. So whoever came into his home, say to fix cooker, or heating or whatever, they were invariably treated to a detailed story of Ralph’s involvement in the D-day landings!

After being demobbed from the army he returned home to Glasgow to be with his family and continued as a cabinet maker working mainly at the Southside Sawmills.

Towards the end of the war years the family arranged to bring in help with the running of the house. So a friend of the family knew of a young woman with a young baby who had recently been divorced from a man who had treated them very badly. She became housekeeper for the family and stayed in the family home. This kind young woman Mary and her baby son Leslie became very important to Ralph. Over a period of 10 years Ralph fell deeply in love with Mary. In 1956 Ralph married Mary and the loving couple set up home in Castlemilk in Glasgow. Ralph loved Leslie and was a real father to him as many happy photographs testify.

A very bright light burst into Ralph’s and Mary’s life in 1962 with the birth of his daughter Ann Marie (my wife).
It was a very happy and close family unit, Ann and her dad where inseparable. He would take Ann out to the park where Ralph would play bowls while Ann played on the swings. Up until his eighties Ralph and Ann would call each night to say good night and after that hardly a day would go by without them seeing each other or speaking on the phone.

One interesting fact about Ralph is that he was a terrible traveller. He just about managed to travel on a train without getting violently sick and he got travel sickness by just looking at a bus! I never really understood how he managed with this condition in the army. Anyway, the distance from Castlemilk to his work was a difficult walk and Ralph invested in motor bike with a sidecar.

Ann remembers fondly the motorbike. Ralph drove the bike and Ann and her mum Mary would ride in the side car. In quieter roads the side car cover would come off and Ann (3yrs old) would stand up and wave to passersby who would wave back. Great memories.

However, onetime Ann remembers a commotion with the neighbours, Ralph had had an accident on the bike (not a serious one) but after that Ann could not remember any more bike rides. I guess Mary put her foot down.
Ralph moved to Govanhill to be closer to his work, the Southside Sawmill. Over this time Ralph formed many lifelong friendships both at work and in the neighbourhood too many to mention by name.

There was a funny event that comes to mind when Ralph worked in the Southside Sawmill. There was a fire drill on a cold winter day. As they stood outside the building the managing director suggested to Ralph and a few others to sit in his car out of the cold. After chatting a bit in the car the managing director realised that there was a better parking space just a short distance down the road. Unaware of Ralph’s condition he just started the car and drove to the new space. Ralph was beside himself in the back of the car and tried to get him to stop but too late. In that short distance he was ill. He was so ill that he had to be sent home! He was too unsteady to walk and he certainly couldn’t be driven home. So Mary had to be called to help him home to his bed. I learned of this incident when many years later I had a new car and I thought it would be a funny to have a picture of Ralph in the car. I really struggled to get him into the car. The only way we got the picture was by Ralph sitting in the driver’s seat where he knew there was no chance of the car moving while he was there! Once bitten .....

In 1980 Ralph’s and Ann’s happy world was devastated when Mary died from a heart attack. Ann and Ralph supported each other during that difficult time which resulted in an especially strong bond.

In 1981 he started work in Keyline and soon they recognised his very friendly manner and quick mental agility that came from his love of maths and puzzles was promoted to managing the wood department. Ralph worked fulltime in Keyline until he retired at the age of 74. This was Ralph’s decision brought on by a fall in the ice as he walked to and from work each day. His dread of motorised transport meant that Ralph was a fit man right up until his very late 80’s. He really enjoyed his work at Keyline, not only the many lifelong friendships from his workmates but all the builders that regularly came in for timber.

Ralph kept himself busy with different activities and took bowling more seriously. After a few years later in 1982 Ralph became good friends with Arnold Benjamin. At bowling club dances Ralph would take Ann as a partner and Arnold took his wife Sadie. They all were good friends visiting each other’s home. Sadly within a few years Arnold died and Ralph kept a friendly interest with Arnold’s family. Over several years Ralph and Sadie’s friendship developed and they eventually decided to marry in 1991. Ralph had found happiness, companionship and love with Sadie who became his “world”. He took a fatherly interest with Norman, Arnold and Sadie’s teenage son. Norman was always there for his mum and Ralph and many happy years were enjoyed with the united family – Ralph, Sadie, Norman, Ann, myself (George) and his grandchildren Steven and Andrew.

Norman remembers a conversation with Ralph aged 88½ (Ralph was always precise about his age) where Ralph stated that he had not a single regret. He would do the same again. That is a great way to feel.

Ralph was a people person. He loved meeting and chatting with people. In 1991 Ann and I moved into our house in Crossmyloof. Several times a week Ralph would walk the few miles from his home in Queen Mary Ave to our home. After a few years living in our home, Ann and I thought it would be a nice change for Ralph and Sadie to stay at our house while we were away on holiday. After returning from a week’s holiday I was very surprised that all the neighbours were chatting to us and asking for Ralph and Sadie. So in less than a week Ralph and Sadie accomplished good friends with the neighbour something that we failed to do in three years! Ralph continued to make the journey from his house to our house up until his late 80’s. Even now when I walk down the street my neighbours ask about Ralph and Sadie.

In the last few years of his life, Ralph’s mobility gradually reduced but he was always positive in his outlook and found happiness in receiving friends and family members :- nephews and nieces Syd and Nina and Ivor and Evelyn with both of their families into his house. Nina was particularly kind to Ralph and Sadie, each Thursday Ralph would phone Nina with his dinner preferences for the weekend and Nina would prepare them and visit Ralph and Sadie each Friday afternoon leaving the meals she made. Ralph was especially fond of Nina and of course Syd too. Pictures record many family events with Ralph smiling from ear to ear. Although he was wasting away physically he took great pride that his mental faculties were as sharp as ever. A phrase that I will always associate with Ralph is “... I’m on the ball” indicating that he was up to speed with matters. Ralph always liked to be independent and in charge of his affairs. On the day before his death when Ralph got out of hospital he went through his various bank statements and other letters. From his 60's onwards but particularly from his 80's Ralph and Sadie were avid cruciverbalist (crossword alcoholics). They won many crossword puzzles prizes. I know that Ralph entered crossword competitions under different family member’s names and most if not all have received cheques from various newspapers for crosswords they had unknowingly successfully completed!

A constant feature in Ralph’s life from a young boy until his late 80’s was his trips to Saltcoats, Troon, Prestwick but especially Ayr. He would stay at small family hotels or boarding houses and after just one stay Ralph would become good friends with his hosts and they would regularly visit Glasgow and stay with Ralph. Ralph would return to their boarding house year after year until they either moved away, or he changed his holiday destination. People enjoyed Ralph’s company and he enjoyed theirs.

His beautiful smile and kind heart will be greatly missed by family and friends.