Jean Margaret Rose Hewitson (15 Nov 1931 - 22 Nov 2016)

In Loving Memory
and a Celebration
of the Life of
Jean Margaret Rose Hewitson
15th November 1931 - 22nd November 2016

North East Surrey Crematorium
Cemetery Lodge, Lower Morden Lane, Morden SM4 4NU
Monday 12th December 2016 at 2.40pm

Entrance Music: Songbird - Eva Cassidy

Welcome by Andy Climie

Good afternoon, my name is Andy Climie, and I would like to offer you a very warm welcome, as we unite in love and in friendship, to celebrate, to honour and to pay tribute to Jean Margaret Rose Hewitson. To give thanks for everything she meant to us, and to say goodbye, now that her time with us is over.

I am especially honoured, as I had the privilege of conducting the service for Jean's dear husband Bob: And had the great pleasure of meeting Jean.

Jean so very sadly passed away on the 22nd November. Robert and Jackie were by her side.
Today our love and thoughts go to all of you who have been hurt by Jean's passing, but especially to her loving children Robert and Jackie; and beloved grandsons Nicholas and Anthony.
I am sure that everybody here joins me in saying to you that we are here to support you in your grief, and that love and friendship will continue to sustain you in the forthcoming weeks, months, and years.

The passing of someone we know and love is always a tragedy, the initial feeling is, I'm sure one of shock, and most times in our grief we can only look at the darker side of dying, when we are robbed of those we love, but sometimes when that person we love faces any form of extended pain or suffering, then their passing can sometimes appear more as an angel of mercy, gathering them up in her arms, to free them from pain, and from the bodies that refuse to function as they should.
Jean's spirit and her life, were part of the spirit and the life of those closest to her, and with her passing, I guess there is a part of you too, which dies
We mourn for Jean, but we also mourn for that part of ourselves, which is now behind us..... But there is something that remains.
Whilst, we are here today primarily to celebrate Jean's life, it is very important to acknowledge our grief because we know that Jean's passing has left a huge gap in our lives, which can never be replaced.
Grieving is important, though it is the hard and painful part of the healing process, so this service is also a time where we can safely let our tears flow, or indeed raise a smile, as we begin to change our relationship with Jean; From one of physical presence to one of memory.
As we remember Jean, we will reminisce, we will laugh and we will cry. Eventually, the times when we cry will become further apart and shorter in duration, but grief takes it time to work through.
But one thing we can be sure of, is that Jean, would not want to be remembered in sadness, but rather with love and with a smile.
We can be grateful for who Jean was and what she meant to everyone here, and that the memories of her are always going to be good and warm.
Today, although we are feeling incredibly sad, we give thanks for a life that is to be celebrated.
I have no doubt that whereever Jean is now she is in a better place, and we can hold on to the belief of peace, rest and fulfilment: And that people are reunited in love.

What do you say about, and how do express in mere words the life
of someone who has brought such joy and love into your lives.
There are many memories that you will all have of times you spent with Jean;
a few I would like to share with you now, on behalf of Rob and Jackie
that capture a sense of who she was.

A Personal Tribute to Jean

Jean Margaret Rose, or "Dene" as Bob called her, was a devoted Wife to Bob her husband of over 60 years, a loving Mother to Jacqueline and Robert, a doting Grandmother to both Nicholas and Anthony and a caring Aunt to Peter, Linda and John.
Jean was born on the 15th November, 1931 in Dulwich Hospital, Brixton, to George and May Buttle, and later was to be joined by her baby brothers George and Brian.
The family lived in Camberwell before later moving to Rostella Road, Tooting.

Jean's schooling took her to Smallwood Road Juniors, then on to Defoe Road Seniors School, Garrett Lane, Tooting.

Jean would always recall her Dad taking her as a little girl, down to see the Docks on fire after the big air raid on the East End of London.
During the war Jean was evacuated to Cheltenham for about a year with her Granddad's family on her Mother's side, William Corbett, Hilda, Dolly, Jean, Joan and Joyce.
She left school at the age of 14 and worked for the Royal Arsenal Co-Operative Society for five years.
The start of the fifties saw Jean working in Oxford street for the "Drapers Chamber of Trade" as an Accounts Clerk for the next three years or so.
In 1953 Jean worked in the Cornhill Exchange, London, as a Clerical Admin officer for their shipping department.
She meet Bob around this time, and they got engaged then married at St. Nicholas Church, Tooting on the 27th June 1953, with Gwen, Jean's best friend, as her head Bridesmaid.
They ended up living with Bob's Mother at the Holt Lodge, Morden in two upstairs rooms for a while before they eventually managed to buy a house in Bickersteth Road, Tooting.

In the early days of marriage Bob insisted on only eating "Walls" pork sausages so Jean would always keep an old empty "Walls" packet under the sink to prove to Bob that he was eating only the best meats money could buy whilst in fact buying other cheaper brands.
Then after a career break to take on the full time job of bringing up two children Jean took on some part time work serving in a wallpaper shop and then as a school dinner lady.
At the start of the seventies Jean started part time then onto full time work with the National Health Service as an Admin Clerk working her way up to an Executive Office in the Finance Department where she continued up to her retirement in 1991.
Jean was now finally able to stay at home herself with Bob who had taken early retirement some years before and together they have had a long and happy retirement. Often saying to other "working" people "Oh you won't like retirement"... with their tongues firmly in their cheeks obviously!
Jean and Bob, together with their lifelong friends Gwen and Bob would go on holidays together sometimes with other family members or friends. In the early years it would be in this country but later the trips were further afield, which in those days was considered brave.
Jean took on the responsibility for organising most of the holiday trips abroad with her family and work colleges, collecting monthly contributions and paying the monies into a savings account ready for the payment of the final balance.
In later years Jean's "baby brother" Brian would arrange some fantastic family holidays at his apartment in Tenerife where many a happy time was spent in the Club House and pool area, together with her other brother George, all splashing around in the Jacuzzi after a long, long lunch.

Jean was devoted to her grandchildren. She enjoyed babysitting duties which would include playing endless games of "The Post Office" or "The Shopkeeper" where Nicholas and Anthony would have to buy things from a makeshift popup shop in exchange for pretend money.
Jackie also remembers how her Mum would have to help with the almost impossible task of getting the grandson's hair cut, sorry Nicholas but you were by far the worst behaved, on one occasion the hairdresser had to give him the water sprayer, used to dampen clients hair, just to amuse him long enough for the barber to do his stuff. They just about managed to give them both a hair cut but only with a very wet Grandma.
Jackie fondly remembers her mum being a very helpful assistant with the wedding cakes she used to make. Jackie making the cakes and her mum beautifully arranging the decorations of fresh or silk flowers.... they made a good team. They even attended an open evening at Renshaws, (a cake ingredient supplier), viewing new products & sampling one of Jean's favourites, marzipan.
As well as Bob, Jean also had another passion in her life and that was Sir Tom Jones, but long before he became a Sir. She would buy all his records and go to see him in concert where she once climbed up onto the stage and gave him a big kiss to remember. Perhaps later inspiring Tom to record one of his most famous songs ! "Kiss"

Robert's Loving Tribute to his Mother

When thinking of what to say today, I didn't know where to start,
so I decided to tell you about the many hours I've spent with both Mum and Dad,
on long cold winter evenings, out in the back garden staring up at the night sky desperately trying to spot a shooting star.
We would generally see a few, sometimes many, sometimes very few.
Dad always claimed to see the most, mainly because his eyesight was so bad that he would see all sorts of strange things dancing about the night sky.
Mum and I would just have to humour him.

It can be the most simple things that brings back such happy memories.

I would like therefore to ask you all, whenever you're out on a clear starlit night
look up to the evening sky and find any couple of bright stars of about the same size that look very close together as if they were a pair, and take time to think about
Mum & Dad, then that way their memory can be with you for the rest of your life.

To live in hearts of those we love, is not to die.
By the way - if one of those stars you choose is just slightly brighter than the other,
just a bit more dominant than the other, then that one is probably Mum's.

I know that you will each have your own wonderful and unique memories of the times that you spent with Jean, so we are now going to pause for a moment, of quiet personal reflection, to give you each the chance to remember Jean in your own way,
to quietly say goodbye in your own words and thoughts, to I'll See You in my Dreams.

Quiet Reflection
I'll See You In My Dreams - Joe Brown

A Memory and Reading to his Grandmother by Nicholas

A Poem to her Mother by Jackie

Farewell

We have been remembering, with love and affection today, Jean's life.
No, one person can sum up the life of another.
Rather, it must remain as it is remembered,
by those who loved and watched and shared.
Jean, who was truly a lovely lady, is so alive in every single one of you;
you have so many memories to share, so just keep sharing them and enjoying them.
She would want you to be happy.
Our lives are poorer now, for having lost Jean, but richer for having known her.
Her spirit remains. Her humour, her warmth and her love that have been given out and shared amongst you during her life.
Jean, is not just part of the past, each one of you carries forward an important part of her into the future. So 'please'; go out and continue living your lives enriched by her memories. We give thanks for all that knowing Jean has given us,
and each precious memory associated with her.

Lastly, I would like to share with you a poem that Nicholas had read
at his Grandfather's service.

We Miss You
We know how much we miss you,
We feel an emptiness inside,
It shows in everything we do,
It's something we can't hide.
We simply miss you being there,
Life seems dull and flat,
Without you nothing's quite the same,
We can't say more than that.
But one day we will meet again
We know that this is true,
But every day until then,
We'll just be missing you.

And so now we come to the time in our service,
when we have to prepare ourselves to say goodbye to Jean.
So please remember that this is only Jean's body that we are committing here today, not her personality, her memory or her spirit,
which will remain alive forever in your minds and in your hearts.
And as Robert so beautifully said,
To live in the heart of another person is not to die........love never dies:
And like the star that she was, Jean shone so brightly,
with her love of life, joy of being and freedom of spirit.

Committal

Jean, may the light of love shine forth upon you,
on those for whom you care and those who care for you,
may you be ever blessed with peace and understanding.
In grief at your passing, but in gratitude for your life
and for the privilege of sharing it with you,
we commit your memory to our hearts.
We honour the way you lived your life. We honour your character and your humour, but most of all we honour the love you gave to your family and to your friends. As we say farewell to you now, remember,
that you will be loved and cherished forever, and may you rest in peace.

May strength comfort and peace go with you all.

Exit Music: She's A Lady - Tom Jones