The following was part of my eulogy to Mum.
It was clear to me from an early age, that family means so much if you are willing to put in the effort. The number of times I would witness mum and her siblings both here and over in Belfast turning up on each other’s doorsteps unannounced to surprise them and vice versa was amazing.
The effort involved would require the help of others in the logistics of making the event take place. More often than not, everyone would know it was happening apart from the one sibling for whom it was intended for.
I will always remember the shocked expression each and every time and then the long night that would follow on as family caught up in good spirits.It wasn’t just turning up unannounced to cause a shock surprise that was the only event, there were other events too with the sole aim being the big surprise. I had one such shock 6 years ago when Rebecca and I had our joint 30th birthday party as set up by Mum and Vince. An unexpected present was given to us, an all-inclusive holiday to Alcudia, furthermore, Mum and Vince along with my uncles and aunties would also be coming with us. It was like Christmas as a kid all over again.
A year later and we’re in Spain having a great time, each night we would go down and watch the holiday reps do their cheesy shows and we’d all howl with laughter. For me though, we were sat a bit too far away from the stage to enjoy it properly so one night I insisted we sat inside the club and after agreement, I went for the first row of seats just to the side of the stage. The reps came on and started their show, this particular night was a bit of role play about a young lonely woman living on an island full of monks.
As the monks came out onto the stage, and I should point out, they were wearing nun’s robes with veil’s as the reps couldn’t get hold of any hooded monk robes, I caught my mum looking at one of the monks for a bit longer than you would expect. She immediately turned around to say something to me however I wasn’t sat down and she couldn’t see me. She turned back and continued looking at the monk as the lonely young lady started her routine of circling him, thrusting to try and break his vow.
It was then that the monk lifted his head slightly, looked at Mum and winked with a big smile. Mums face went into shock, open mouthed hand held over, pointing at the monk with her other hand. Yep, it was me dressed as a nun playing the monk and I had kept it quiet all day so to surprise mum and it worked a treat. I think her mouth was open for the whole routine if I remember correctly.
Of course, mum was to give the last surprise earlier this year when during our holiday in Dorset, Mum and Vince turned up unannounced.
If I was shocked at my 30th birthday party, then I have no words for how I was back in August. I literally froze in my seat when I heard her shout at the back of my head from their car “Daniel, are you going to put the kettle on?” It took me hours to actually believe they were with us.
Eventually I did start to believe it and soon that belief turned to recognition. Recognition that these next 5 days would be so important to me, not then in the moment, but now and beyond.
Making memories is something I value greatly and it’s something I have Mum to thank for in showing me these virtues in a person.
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