Harold Frederick Benjamin Ibell (28 Dec 1925 - 20 Sep 2016)

Rest in Peace Mr Ibell.

RIP Harold.

RIP Harold. Reunited with Josie x

Well, a year on from Gary, I'm now writing my thoughts and memories about you on here Grandpa, although it feels, and indeed is so different.

When i reflect on our time together, i feel a range of emotions. On one hand, you were the guy that set the tone for the men in our family to some degree; Dad, Gary and me all have and had some of your traits, such as organisation, an eye for detail, determination and motivation. I will always thank you personally for helping embed those qualities, via Dad, into me, they are certainly useful if not sometimes extremely infuriating to some people, especially close family! You were on the whole, a good decent man, maybe who didn't really know how to show his emotions, but who had a good heart, and along with Grandma, and Mum & Dad, gave both Gary and I a childhood many would give their hind teeth for, and again, i thank you for that. My admiration for you as a solider, who helped to defend the rights and freedoms we all enjoy today, and as a guy who went from having absolutely nothing, to financial security and comfort, will never diminish - i always thought that being remembered for how much you achieved in financial terms was the thing you would always want to be measured by when people look back at your life, in terms of if it was a success or a failure, so i guess in that respect it was a triumph!!

There is another hand though, and it would be remiss of me not to put it down on here, as it would do you a dis-service, and not provide a true reflection of the man you were, the man i grew to understand more about as time went on. I would hope that, if we were sat in your kitchen now, discussing how i was going to write my thoughts about you when you had departed, you would appreciate my honesty, and it would maybe make you smile, if only a little bit, and remind you of a younger Harold, or even a Brian Ibell. You, like all of us, never always got it right, in fairness sometimes you got it very wrong, and i am so glad that, after Gary's passing, I got the chance to tell you my views man to man. Some of the things you said and did made me angry, frustrated, upset and often bewildered - you know, and those within our family know what i am talking about, and i am not going to start splashing it all on here, but you were royally out of order, especially when it came to Gary's funeral. You could be harsh, uncaring, sometimes downright thoughtless, and money was the be all and end all to you, to the point of obsession. For everything you achieved in your life, and there were many good things, as i have said previously, you ended up fracturing our family unit on more than one occasion, because of your lack of empathy, and ability to consider other peoples feelings. Some of the things i witnessed you do, your behaviour sometimes, will live with me forever, things i never thought i would see, and that still leave me totally perplexed to this day.

The last time we were together, i sat in your kitchen and we talked about the war, Brexit and Basford Utd. If we agreed on little, our desire to leave the EU was totally on the same page,, and i'm glad you were around to see us get out of that shambles! You gave me a load of frozen sausages and steaks, some of which are still in my freezer (a part of our freezer is dedicated solely to you, such was the quantity of meat that you gave me that day). You weren't in great shape, and i left that day wondering when the next time i would see you was going to be. I wondered if the chance for redemption and repair for you and our family had passed, if the wounds caused could be healed, if never fully disappear. I think deep down, during that discussion over a cup of tea, made as ever with evaporated milk (the only person, other than Grandma, i know and probably will ever know who made it with that bloody stuff), we both knew things had gone too far, and that this was as good as it was going to get. So it turns out, we never did see each other again, the development of Basford Utd's into a world football superpower the last thing we discussed, something i'll have to update you on, along with the FTSE when i eventually join you all up there.

So how to sum it all up, my 39 years of knowing you, and the memories i'll take away from our time together. I think we finished with a position of mutual respect, and no regrets between us at least. You knew what i thought of you, good and bad, and you took it all on the chin that day. You didn't shy away from telling me what you thought, and i thank you for your honesty. I thank you for always being there, for being a proper Grandpa to us both, especially through our formative years. A guy i will always respect for what he achieved, many times against all the odds, and without whom, i wouldn't be here typing this now.

I hope you find some peace and comfort, wherever you are, i hope that the discomfort and the darkness that you suffered in recent times have left you, and that you are reunited with Grandma and Gary in a far better place than this world. You will never be far from my mind, in fact, driving home from work tonight, the news on Radio 4 reported the FTSE had hit an 31 year high, share prices were soaring, and i pondered, as i drove back to Nottingham through the autumn Northamptonshire sunshine, you would be looking down from somewhere, and cracking a little, knowing smile.

Take it easy, l'll see you again one day, and we can catch up over one of those bloody terrible cups of tea you always made!!

Keep the faith,

Love

Darren