Vera Edith Gilbert (17 Feb 1924 - 12 Jun 2016)

In loving memory of Vera Edith Gilbert who sadly passed away on 12th June 2016

As most of you will know mum was diagnosed with a form of dementia 10 years ago. This awful disease not only robbed us of the person that we knew and loved but also stole her memories. I don’t know if mum had a premonition of this but she wrote her life history and I would like to share some of her memories with you now.
Mum was born on 17th February 1924, the youngest of four children and lived with her parents and Aunt and Uncle in Manor Park, East London. When she was eight her Aunt and Uncle bought a brand new house in Chadwell Heath for £300, which they thought was very grand. Mum and her sister Eileen used to stay with them at weekends and during school holidays because it was out in the country in those days and they often walked or cycled across the fields to Hainault Forest.
Mum passed the 11+ and went to East Ham grammar but sadly didn’t finish school because war broke out and the school closed after being bombed. Mum didn’t get evacuated with her friends either because she was on holiday in Great Yarmouth with her Aunt and Uncle so instead her Uncle paid for her to learn shorthand typing. This had a huge impact on her life because she got her first job at a printers in Plaistow, which is where she met dad who worked there too as a driver. Unfortunately dad was sacked because in those days drivers weren’t allowed to fraternise with the secretaries so mum left there too. Dad volunteered for the army and mum took a new job in London near her sister.
It’s hard to believe that mum and her sister used to travel to work together during the blitz often walking or hitching a lift the 10 miles because the train tracks had been bombed overnight.
Mum and dad were married on 17th July 1943 when dad had 48 hours leave. Mum moved in with her sister in Seven Kings until one night a rocket fell a couple of doors along. Their roof blew off and the ceiling crashed down on them. They managed to get the bedroom door open and ran down the stairs to escape. When it got light they discovered that there was no outside wall against the stairs but they were all safe.
The next day dad was due home on leave so mum waited all day at Victoria Station to let him know that they were ok. They missed him but luckily had pinned a note to the lamppost to let him know where they were. No mobiles in those days!
The war ended, dad left the army and they settled down to a happy family life. Mum did a bit of dressmaking to help make ends meet. She knitted too, I have a picture of her modelling one of her own creations. Mum and dad saved hard and bought their first house on the Eastern Avenue. I think it cost them £2000. If only!
Mum and dad had a motorbike and sidecar, which they used for family days out and camping holidays. I’m told that dad stuffed the tyres with grass when he got a puncture on the way home. Ray had to suffer travelling in the sidecar but when I came along dad bought a car instead, which he spent many hours fixing. I remember lots of days out as a child with various Aunts, Uncles and cousins. We would go to Maldon on sunny Sundays with dad’s family, stopping at the pub on the way home. There were also trips to Southend to see mum’s cousin Joyce and of course York to visit mum’s Sister Eileen. In 1966 we drove to Spain with one of dad’s brothers, Denny and his sister Maisie and their families. That was quite daring then. I can remember watching the England win the World Cup in a bar with German supporters. I can also remember poor mum feeling travel sick all the way there.

Mum worked hard too. When I went to secondary school mum took a job in the Civil Service. She later transferred to the MOD Police in Holborn, a job she says she thoroughly enjoyed until sadly being made redundant when they relocated outside London. She then took another job near St Pauls working alternate weeks until she retired.
When I was 10 mum and dad bought a touring caravan. There was no stopping them then. We were away every other weekend and also visited France, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. Goodness knows how they ever managed to get anywhere though. Mum would nag dad about driving too fast and dad would moan about her lack of map reading skills. She never did work out her right from her left. I remember one occasion when we’d pitched up and gone out for fish and chips. On our return another caravan was parking a little too close for dad’s liking so he sped up to ask them to move. Unfortunately it had been raining, the grass was wet and dad ploughed straight into the side of their caravan. Mum calmly turned to dad and said “What did you do that for Harry” I learnt a few new words that day!
Eventually dad’s sister Maisie and her husband John together with dad’s brother Denny and his wife Joyce and their friends Elsie and Jim caught the caravanning bug and we all used to go away together at weekends. It was good having my cousins for company. I’m happy to say that our son James has now followed in his grandparents footsteps and has just bought his first caravan. I’m sure they will both be looking down on him as he tours Europe later this summer.
When dad retired through ill health he and mum continued to travel visiting Yugoslavia, Tunisia, Malta and Ray and Anette both in Canada and Norway. They spent the winters in either Spain or Portugal because the drier climate was better for dad’s health and played bowls in the summer back in England.
Another early memory I have is of mum and dad sharing the same paper, although I’m sure they could afford one each by then. Mum would divide it out and dad would always end up with the centre pages. It used to annoy dad no end that mum would then proceed to read all the best bits in her half to him. She used to do exactly that to me after her move to the care home too dad.
I’m not sure how they fitted it in but mum and dad always had time to babysit as well for their 8 grandchildren. I am absolutely positive that mum taught my kids how to gamble as the cards and the penny pot would come out to play Newmarket and Pontoon whenever they visited. When I asked the grandchildren for some of their memories they said that I had to mention the lemon meringue pie. Nobody could make it like mum but when she dished it out dad used to tease her because there was always a little piece left that disappeared into the kitchen never to be seen again. Mum was up with all the latest technology too. She owned a Commodore 64 and the kids loved playing Yes Prime Minister and Trapdoor on it. Mum left me a letter which said that she wanted to live long enough to see the grandchildren grow up a bit. Not only did she achieve that but she was delighted when the great grandchildren came along too.
When dad died far too soon in 1996, the first words that mum said to me were “How am I going to go on?” I didn’t have the answer but somehow she found a way. Three years later she bravely moved to Bourne at the age of 75. She made a new life and quickly became part of the community, joining the local bowls club and volunteering at the charity shop in town. Although I think she was probably their best customer too. She made many friends there and enjoyed pub lunches with some of her neighbours. Mum also loved her puzzle books and did the crossword in the Daily Mail every day. She was better than me at that, always finishing it before elevenses! She also had a new computer and often played Scrabble on it whilst accusing the computer of cheating. Mum I have just downloaded the Scrabble App on my phone and I agree yes it does cheat!
Mum first became ill in 2006 and eventually had to be persuaded to give up driving after an unfortunate incident with a bunch of shopping trolleys in Sainsbury’s car park. She always maintained that someone stole her bumper that day! But she wasn’t going to let this stop her. She decided to move from her bungalow to a sheltered flat nearer town at the age of 86. Sadly this didn’t go well and after she tried to go to the Eastern Avenue to see Harry at 2am on a winter’s night we all decided that a care home was the best solution. We found the brilliant Wood Grange where the staff became her extended family. The deciding factor for me was that it felt like home as soon as I walked in. Mum enjoyed many of the activities there, dancing, crafts, parties and much, much more. Whilst we were dreading the move it actually enormously improved mum’s quality of life. I’m positive that she thought she was on holiday there and every day was the first day that she’d arrived. She was always so amazed to see me when I visited. But above everything mum was happy there and cared for by some amazing people. I cannot risk naming names in case I leave anyone out but they are a wonderful bunch who I cannot thank enough for helping to make mum’s last few years happy and peaceful.
Well mum, you’ve had such a busy life, I think that you have earned your rest. Sleep tight, much love xx