Doreen Grove (13 Jun 1939 - 29 May 2016)

In loving memory of Doreen Grove who sadly passed away on 29th May 2016, aged 76 years, after a short battle with cancer.

Doreen was born in Thurnscoe, Yorkshire 13th June 1939. Being one of three sisters, Doreen moved to Smethwick West Midlands at the age of seven being brought up by her Auntie Hilda. Where she enjoy her childhood & school years, before marrying at the age 21, which brought her four beautiful daughters, Michelle, Karen, Gaynor, & Andrea.

Having worked all her adult life, retirement brought her further pleasure where she helped in looking after all of her eleven grandchildren. She enjoyed many hours watching tennis & spending time gardening. She is survived, by her four daughters & their spouses, her sister, eleven grandchildren and one great grandchild.

Family Flowers to the The Co-operative Funeralcare, Ansty Road, Coventry but donations if desired can be made to Cancer Research by clicking the ‘Donate Now” button to the right of this page.

Elysium Funeral Ceremonies

A Service to Remember & Celebrate the Life of
DOREEN GROVE

Date of Ceremony: Monday 4th July 2016
Time of Ceremony: 12 noon
Venue: Canley Crematorium, Cannon Hill Chapel
Ceremony arranged by: Gillian Ayers-Hunt

Entrance Music: You Raise Me Up - Westlife

Welcome

Good afternoon everyone. A really warm welcome and thank you for being here today for this relaxed, informal gathering to remember and celebrate the life of a unique and very special lady, Doreen Grove – or ‘Dir-een’ as her father always pronounced it, in his broad Yorkshire accent.

I am Gillian Ayers-Hunt, a Civil Funeral Celebrant, and I genuinely feel extremely privileged to be here sharing this occasion with you, as it was immediately apparent from my chats with her daughters – Michelle, Karen, Gaynor and Andrea – just what a much-loved mum, mother-in-law, nan, great-nan, sister, auntie, neighbour and good-friend Doreen was.

Without a doubt she was a strong, independent woman whose family meant everything to her. At the end of last year she’d spent 3 months out in Florida visiting her youngest daughter and family there – a trip that she made at least once a year for the last 8 years. She lived relatively close to her 3 elder daughters and their families, so she enjoyed get-togethers with them a lot more frequently.

Her family have received so many cards, letters and messages of support. I’d like to share part of a letter that Barbara, an ex-work colleague, sent that describes Doreen perfectly. She wrote:

‘What a lovely, lovely lady and friend. We always sent each other Christmas cards with letters full of news of family etc. Many times I would read your mum’s letters and laugh so much …. She loved life and was so very proud of, as she would say “my four lovely girls”’.

Really, it’s only been since the beginning of the year that Doreen wasn’t feeling quite herself – and only in her last weeks that she was eventually diagnosed with cancer.

Because of her diagnosis, if you would like to make a donation in her memory, then it will go to Cancer Research. Details of how to do this are on the back of the Order of Service.

Understandably, everyone is reeling from the suddenness of her passing but it is important that today, rather than focusing on her passing, we fondly recall the kind, warm-hearted, hard-working, extremely sociable and good-humoured woman that you all knew and loved.

And as you can see from the printed Order of Service, this is an uplifting and fitting family-led ceremony. All the music and poetry we will hear has been carefully chosen because it holds special meaning and we will also be hearing some very personal tributes to Doreen which describe her as a person, her achievements and what she means to everyone here.

Family Tributes to a Much-Loved Mum, Nan, Great-Nanny, Sister, Aunty, Neighbour and Good Friend

Doreen’s close-knit family really did mean the world to her. Her family always was her main priority and she was rightly proud of them all. It is very fitting then, I’m sure you’ll all agree, that her son-in-law, Lawrence, has written these special words for us all to hear and to reflect on the happiness she brought to her family. Chris is going to come up and share these with us now.

Doreen Grove…..

I wanted to start today’s eulogy for Doreen, by reminding us all of what the word eulogy means and translated it simply means Good words! Of course for all of us here today and for anyone else who was lucky enough to have known Doreen you’d know that there is nothing to say, but good.

Doreen touched all our lives in many different ways and she was known to us under many different names. Firstly and most lovingly, she was Mom, or Mother! Our Dor, Nanny Dor, Nanny Grova, Dor and of course just Doreen, she was the Matriarch of our family and the Queen of her household.

You may not know this, but she had also been given a title, a title that was given to her by her idol, Tom Jones when he sang……..she’s a Lady!
Doreen was remarkable lady, but not just any lady. With the trials and tribulations she faced throughout her life I felt it only fitting to give Doreen a new title today and that’s……The Iron Lady.

No matter what life threw at Doreen no matter what problem she was given, she was tuff as Iron and never waivered, or faltered. She was the original iron lady and should not to be confused with the late Maggie Thatcher, nevertheless the mention of Thatcher provides a poignant place to start Doreen’s life story.

Doreen and her much loved sisters were born in a small mining village in Yorkshire. With their mother leaving them at a very young age they were raised for several years by their beloved father……a man that Doreen loved, admired and adored.

Of course for a man working full time in the mines and trying to raise two young girls, he was unable to care for them in the manner he would have wanted to. Therefore, with a heavy heart Doreen and Chris were packed off to Smethwick to live with their auntie.
Doreen attended Holly Lodge Grammar School for girls and was proud to have done so. She loved school and the years passed quickly and she grew to be a beautiful independent young woman, loving life and her friends around her.

It wasn’t long before Doreen starting courting and was to be married at the tender age of 21 and over a period of years from the late 60’s to the early 70’s she gave birth to four beautiful girls….…Michelle, Karen, Gaynor and Andrea.

Growing up in the 70’s & 80’s there were to be great memories for the girls, but sad ones too! In 1979 Thatcher’s reign began and Doreen was to face some of the hardest times of her life. In 1981 Doreen divorced her husband and single handedly raised her girls.

For many years to come Doreen would hold down several jobs at a time, just to keep the house running and the girls clothed and fed. Michelle, Karen, Gaynor & Andrea never- went- without- a -thing! Whether it was family holidays, or memorable Christmas and Birthdays, Doreen gave them all she could and it wasn’t just materialistic things she gave them, as more importantly she gave them her love!!!

It’s a testament to Doreen’s life today when I look at what amazing women and mothers they have all become themselves. Her guidance, support and love for you all was second to none and we all know how incredibly proud she was of you. Each of you provided her with her biggest love in her life, her Grandchildren.
Tennis was her game and she loved it, but she loved Federer more. It would not be unusual for Doreen to spend the entire day watching tennis. She wouldn’t move for anything, other than a quick smoke and toilet break. She had many loves in her life, but her favorites were Tom Jones, Bond and Elvis, of course.

You always knew when she was being serious because she would waggle her finger at you and deliver a message of wisdom.

I can honestly tell you that no one could wish for a better mom, sister, Nanny, or friend….she was the best!

Doreen Grove………you will always be forever in our hearts, thoughts and memories.

Danielle

As we were just hearing, Doreen loved being a grandma – or ‘Nanny Grover’ as they affectionately called her – to her 11 grandchildren: Danielle, Daniel, Nathan, Jordan, Shannon, Olivia, Isobel, Jake and triplets – Sophie, Chloe and Phoebe.

She was also delighted to be a great-grandmother to Maisy and was so thrilled to learn that her second great-grandchild – Joseph Finnerty – is due in November.

Her eldest grandchild, Danielle, is going to come up and say a few words on behalf of all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

My Nanny Grover where do I start?

When we lose people they often become a hero, this doesn’t count for Nan, she has always been our hero, our queen.

So many memories.

From all the holidays you took me on at just 9 months old, to the most recent at Daniel’s wedding in Florida and to see the Middleton’s.

Memories of the care home that you worked at, which scared the life out of me.

Our family parties at The Hurstway. One where you had one too many and fell through the chair!! All the family Christmas’s we shared.

I’m so thankful that we got to share your last Christmas together at Karen and Mark’s where you were on top form making everyone laugh. 

There are so many amazing memories. Far too many to comment on in such a short amount of time but ones I will treasure forever. Ones I will share with my children for years to come.

One thing you always said to me (pointing your finger like you did) “this is your life now, so go and live it”

I will do my best Nanny Grover but it will be hard without you.

You will always be my true hero. I love you. Good night x

The Lord’s Prayer

If you would like to, you are welcome to join me now in saying the Lord’s Prayer:

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.

Reflection & Fond Farewell

The time has come for us to say a fond farewell to Doreen - a genuine, loyal and contented lady who was both loving and loved, caring, good humoured, hands-on, generous and fair.

Although we are saying goodbye to her now, her love, friendship and influence means she will always hold a special place in the hearts and memories of everyone here today.

You all have your own thoughts and memories of Doreen, so let’s take a few moments now to quietly recall some of the many happy times you shared whilst listening to Barbra Streisand singing ‘Memories’ – such an appropriate song for today.

Music: The Way We Were (Memories) – Barbra Streisand

Poem

Doreen’s daughters were saying how she was always there for them, supportive and definitely encouraging. Even their school friends used to say that Doreen was like a mum to them as well because she was someone they could talk to.

I’d like to share with you now a poem that could have been written with her in mind. It’s entitled: ‘Legacy of Love’:

A mother, a sister, a grandma too,
This is the legacy we have from you.
You taught us love and how to fight,
You gave us strength, you gave us might.
A stronger person would be hard to find,
And in your heart, you were always kind.
You fought for us all in one way or another,
Not just as a friend, not just as a mother.
For all of us you gave your best,
Now the time has come for you to rest.
So go in peace, you've earned your sleep,
Your love in our hearts, we'll eternally keep

Closing Thoughts

May you who were privileged to know Doreen, remember her with happiness. Talk about her often, remember the funny stories, as well as the kindness, care, love and laughter she willingly gave. But, above all, enjoy your memories of her, just as we have done today.

As you all know, Doreen had a great sense of fun and was a very sociable lady – she’d talk to anyone and everyone given half a chance. Probably the only time she was unsociable was when Wimbledon was on – there was no budging her away for the TV then, not even to go shopping and we’re talking about the ‘Shopping Queen’ here, who always loved a bargain!

Any other time, however, she thoroughly enjoyed the company of family and friends – which is why you are all invited to the nearby Phantom Coach after the ceremony.

Hopefully going there shortly will give you all the opportunity, in a more relaxed surroundings, to have a chat and continue sharing your memories of her with each other.

We said at the beginning that every part of this ceremony holds special meaning for Doreen and this is particularly true of the music. She liked her music and as we entered the Chapel we listened to one of her favourites, ‘You Raise Me Up’ by Westlife.

Her two absolute favourite singers though, were Barbra Striesand – who we’ve just heard singing – and Tom Jones. So I’m sure you’ll all agree that listening to Tom Jones singing the very apt song ‘She’s a Lady’ is a very fitting way to close this uplifting reflection on Doreen’s life, here today.

Before we listen to it, if I may, I’d like to share with you one last little poem that reflects Doreen’s love of life and those closest to her. It’s by Carol Mirkel and entitled: Afterglow

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways.
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun.
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

Exit Music: She’s a Lady – Tom Jones