Anne Roome (14 Oct 1945 - 17 Jun 2014)

Mum, every day I have to live without you with me on this earth I discover a piece of myself and how it connects to you. I know I've got three angels up there looking over me now. Mum your memory is sacred and I continue to make it so. I love you. I hosted Christmas this year. Just like you used to. I must have inherited your touch. xxx

Someone who made me smile everyday an lots

It is over a year since Anne's passing and I know how deeply Rebekah feels her loss. But she has worked so hard to ensure that the memory of Anne lives on through her, and with us through the sharing of all these memories. Our loved ones are never far away, because our memories kept them near us. We hope that these memories lift us up as we think about and remember the goodness of their lives and their love for us. May Anne rest well and may the spirits of all that knew her be uplifted by her memory.

Thinking of you, Mum, and loving that parts of you live on through me. X

Dear family of Anne as well as her friends,

it was nice to be in Anne's life for a while before she had moved and her life ended. Thank you for including me in paying the honours to this lady. She had a spirit and the strength that I think we will all remember always.

Sincere regards for all her relatives.


Alex

I have met Anne towards the end of her journey as Anne Roome, an older lady living upstairs in a block of flats where I have moved into. She came across to me as approachable, open-minded woman with a sense of humour that puts others at ease.
In my mind whenever I think of her she is alive, very real the same Anne she was when I had met her. I feel very sorry that I could not visit her after she had moved. All I can do for her now is to share some of the memories of her as well as the memories that were her own. This is how we remember people, isn’t it? We remember through the moments spent together and conversations that we had.
Among my memories of her there are notes posted through the door signed "Anne flat 39". This signature made her mysterious making me wonder what else is written beyond the name and what the flat number hides. Well, soon after several chats we have had on the door step or outside the property Anne has said I can use her vacuum cleaner as I did not have my own. I went to borrow it and offered to take Anne's rubbish sometimes to help her a little. She was struggling to walk up and down the stairs.
This was an opportunity to realize what a remarkable woman she was. The photos of her children, her CD-s, the cigarette smoke and the music on a radio were filling her living space. Was she living her past? Perhaps her years gone by held something to hold on to. Her health was problematic with often coughs and difficulty walking after a broken hip. Yet she kept her strength and she was determined to carry on living.
Anne visited me a few times. On one of the visits in my flat we shared a meal. She asked about my daughter who does not live with me but with her father. Anne’s concern was genuine and she wished me best. I could tell she was a compassionate woman. Then she had told me about her childhood. She came from a family of several children. Being one of the youngest she was only a few years old when her Mother had died... This tragedy has resulted in the children being placed in an orphanage.
Some of Anne’s memories from that time were positive. She told me about the couple who had overtaken the orphanage. The people that weren’t local who had made her experience of growing up without the parents sometimes even lovely. She was the owner’s favourite! This doesn’t surprise me as Anne was witty and fun to talk to. She probably was a very good helper in the orphanage when older. It was clear to me that she knew her duties and kept busy.
Some of her stories about her childhood however seemed very sad, especially the first few years in the institution. I can imagine that a loss she encountered would be difficult to accept and the drama would follow. Oh, Anne, you were a survivor. Have I said that Anne was remarkable? Yes, I have. This description deserves emphasis. Brought up without parents Anne was striving to raise a family.
This memory is very profound. Anne’s first child, son Richard whom I had seen on a photo in her flat had died in an accident at eighteen years old. A good looking young man who must had been her pride. I am sure the tragedy had crushed her world but she had four more children to live for.
To me Anne was a brave woman. She lived in New Zealand for some time with her family. Then she came back to the UK. She told me that she liked living there which makes me wonder whether she was an adventurous individual. She definitely liked excitement especially being a bumper car champion. Undoubtedly however she cared about her children above all. The photos in her flat that she was facing from her armchair were stating clearly that they were on her mind a lot.
Anne mentioned that she was married four times which had quite surprised me. She was the first person I have met directly who has been married that many times and I admire her honesty about this. I thought everyone is entitled to seek their happiness the way that is right for them.
Another memory I can recall is of her love for Dean Freeman’s music. The amount of times Anne had asked me if I like Dean Freeman! I don’t even know his music but for her this was the glimpse of a day when she could ask this. I could see it in her face and hear it in her voice. I will listen to that music today to find out what it could have meant for her.
I will miss you Anne. It was good to have met you. You were blessed with your children who each have particles of you and can build upon what you gave them as their Mother. Love.

Alex

Memories of Mum, as read at her funeral service

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who was able to take time out of their lives to say goodbye to a special woman. I would also like to acknowledge my brother Daniel, who lives in New Zealand and was not able to be here today.

I would now like to say something on behalf of my partner, Geoffrey, who is also in New Zealand and was sadly not able to be here today.

(Read words from Geoffrey)

And now my final goodbye to my mum.

I never imagined I’d need to write a speech for Mum’s funeral. I guess I thought she was invincible, and so did she. But now the time has come, I want to say everything about her - capture every moment that she breathed lest no one forget.
More than two weeks ago now since she died. Two weeks of emotional upheaval - snippets of things, conversations, memories - the type of cheese she like (mature cheddar), the dishwashing liquid she used (fairy), the way she lit up a cigarette in the mall after the law came in to not smoke in malls, and when she got asked to put it out, she looked at the men with surprise, as if those rules didn’t apply to her. The way she used to steal gypsophila from people’s gardens and have them yell at her (that was embarrassing), and the way she loved red roses, but not yellow - red, green and silver for her Christmas table decorations - but not gold - never gold.
Tacky mum was not. She had style, empathy, love, compassion and lots and lots of emotion. She was an incredibly complex human being - a complexity she passed on to me (gee, thanks mum). She was proud of the fact she had four husbands, and was looking for her fifth. An outrageous flirt - she was, at times, completely inappropriate.
Mum was, well, mum.
Champion woman racer at banger cars in the days women racing would have been few and far between. Purveyor of fine clothes, she was, in her heyday, the most stylish woman I have ever known. She broke hearts, yes she did. She won legs’ competitions and beauty competitions.
She gave everything she had to her children.
Mum had it hard. She was a child of a large family, her mum died at a young age, and she spent some of her childhood in an orphanage.
She struggled with her health throughout her life, but remained, to the day she died, optimistic and proud.
Mum, I will never forget the way you used to sing me the rainbow song when you put drops in my eyes, the way you encouraged me, the way you brushed my hair.
You live on through our stories. The world was a better place because you lived. I will never forget you.
You can be at peace with Richard now. Give him a hug from me.
I love you a million times around the world.

Your daughter,
Bunch

Eulogy of the late Anne Roome (nee Hughes)
Anne was born on 14 October 1945 in Buxton. She was one of the youngest children of Mr. and Mrs. Hughes, in a family of nine children. Anne and her brothers and sisters lost their mother age 42 when they were just children. Therefore, the younger members of the family were taken to an orphanage in Derby where Anne grew up.
In her early twenties, Anne worked in a children’s home in the borough of Buxton and throughout her life, she had several clothing market stalls. Anne had a very good eye for clothing. She loved fashion and stylish living and went on later to win a beauty competition, and best legs’ competitions at seaside holiday parks.
Anne was married to her first husband Gordon Birchenall in her early twenties. Gordon was the father of two of Anne’s children – the late Richard, and Tracey.
Anne raced banger cars in the seventies – a right trail blazer she was, to race cars as a woman in a male-dominated sport. Her talent was evident when she held the title of ladies’ champion for two years and had a banana box overflowing with trophies at home. It is unclear whether her talent was due to fearlessness, or madness, but Gordon used to spend his weekend repairing the minis that Anne banged up.
Anne went to marry three more times. Her second husband, Warren, fathered three of her children: Rebekah, Michael and Daniel.
In the early eighties, before Daniel was born, Anne and Warren migrated to New Zealand with Richard, Rebekah and Michael. Sadly, Richard was taken from the family in a car accident in 1987. This left Anne heartbroken, and her health suffered as a result.
Anne suffered a lot; but she was a very brave woman who always found the courage to pick herself up, even after the death of her first born child.
Anne lived for her children. Her whole life was about them. She even once said to Rebekah that: “my children are the best thing that ever happened to me”.
Anne moved back to her home country in the late nineties, and went on later to live in Ashbourne Road in Derby. The people on that street affectionately knew her as “Smokey”. She was a very kind and generous woman. She lived a colourful and good life and enjoyed life to the full. Smokey was a joker, a courageous woman, who liked her cup of tea and cigarettes.
She was very popular with the people of Ashbourne Road. Smokey’s friends remember her smile and her love of gardening - she loved to have a drink and to socialise. Toward her later years, Smokey had the companionship of a lovely greyhound called Millie. She loved to walk for miles with Millie.
Smoky died on June 17th at her home at Dayton Court in Cedar Street.
She will be sadly missed.

One month since you left, Mum, and every day I miss you. I wish I had the opportunity to see you one more time.

I suppose I was lucky to have visited Derby and meet Anne twice in the last year. Rebekah and I had made a special plan to make sure we got to the UK and give her the chance to see her Mum again. Being so far away from New Zealand it does take some effort to make such a trip and they don’t happen very often. The tyranny of distance is such a challenge for families that have spread themselves around the world. So I know it was a great joy for both Rebekah and Anne to be with each other again for what, we initially thought was to be just a week or so. As it turned out, Rebekah was to return and spend nearly four months helping Anne get from a hospital back into her own home. It wasn’t down the Ashbourne Road, but, home is better than hospital.

I am grateful to have met Anne, the Mother of the lady I love, as it could so easily have passed me by. In that short time I have created some strong and lasting memories that I can now share with Rebekah.
So these are my memories of Anne from the short time I spent with her:

Spirit – regardless of her health and all the challenges it presented, Anne was a strong person with a tough spirit.

Irreverent – cheeky beyond belief, just listen to her Dean Friedman collection.

Persistent – there wasn’t a visit or a phone call that didn’t at some point contain the question “Are you going to marry Rebekah, Geoffrey?”

Outrageous flirt – every man that passed by was, eyed up, sized up, chatted up and many were even proposed too.

Determined – Anne’s life has had many challenges yet she was always determined to do her best for her children.

So goodbye Anne and rest in peace.

Geoffrey

In your mind you're a young woman,
You're that woman brushing my hair
And singing the rainbow song
To take my mind off the eye drops.

You're a strong woman,
A healthy woman,
A woman with a story to tell.

You're a beautiful woman
Who raced banger cars
And stopped men in the street
With your presence

You're a woman who knows
The very best in style and clothes.
You've a strong mind, you've a wicked
Smile and laugh; you forge real connections with people.

You're the best Mum in the world
And we're all better people
Because you lived.

With love,
Your daughter,
Rebekah xxx