Barry Starmore (30 Nov 1965 - 2 Apr 2016)

It's almost a year now Baz. Had a fantastic day today (well, yesterday now, coz it's half past midnight I'm typing this! You would have been so proud and I hope you're looking down so you are so proud because Russell made his debut for BAMM (Bournemouth Academy for Modern Music) at the Talent Showcase at Absolute Music. The guy that runs it, Matt Black, told everyone that the four musicians that took part could easily be on stage with Ed Sheeran and not look out of place. Russell is going to be a massive star and I hope you will be watching Baz. It breaks my heart that I can't see you celebrating like I'm doing. And Leeds United are finally coming good. I know you'd be supremely happy about that. I love you Baz. A massive hug and big kisses in the sky. x

It's a year ago now when Mum and I were coming to Poole hospital every day to see you. I miss you so much Baz. I've put some more photos here today and I remember the night when a load of us went bowling. Apologies to Chris Frampton, as I left him off the caption. He is at the front of the pic in the middle. You were good fun Baz. x

Not a day goes by without my thoughts going to Barry. I have such good, happy memories. We always got on so well and never had cross words. He was my youngest son. I had him for just over 50 years and he was a great joy. He was so kind and thoughtful. He and I had a week in Blackpool, four years ago, and while there, he arranged a surprise birthday present for me. He'd booked trains and we ended up in Horsforth near Leeds, where I was born. We looked at the house where I started my life and went to my old school. It was such a lovely present but that was the sort of thing Barry did. I shall miss him for the rest of my days.

You're the coolest Uncle ever! I remember when, every Sunday you would come over to see us and you would greet us with the biggest and warmest hug. I remember, again every Sunday, my uncle Bazzawazza would buy my brother and I some lego packets and we'd make lego together. I remember one time when you brought a kit with I think 1,000 pieces of lego. It was the biggest Red Arrow plane! When we finally made it we were so happy. We all said 'yay' and jumped up and down. I remember the nickname I gave you, 'Uncle Pug'. x

I miss you so much Baz and it's been difficult to put anything in writing here because whenever I've tried I've usually broken down and not been able to continue. Going to try now to get something written but I can't guarantee that my eyes will remain dry. This time last year Baz I had a week left of my photography exhibition at the old Tourist Information Centre. I remember mum and I were worried about you and that you were getting very tired but I for one never expected what was to follow. Neither of us did. You were still talking about going back to work and you were looking forward to doing so. I know you loved your job at the Carrington House Hotel and I know how much you were loved and respected by the staff and management there. Flippin' eck, you've got me already. Must get a tissue out. Soft git aren't I. On the final day of my exhibition, which was 28 February 2016, Mum rang me to say that you had been rushed to hospital because you were struggling to breathe. It was typical of you Baz when you asked mum not to mention anything to me because you didn't want me to worry as it was the last day of the exhibition. Always so thoughtful but mum did the right thing in telling me. I couldn't wait to pack everything up and get down the hospital to see how you were. You were exhausted but you were in the right place and I thought everything would be alright once you'd been treated in any which way the doctors and nurses thought best. My positive thoughts and hopes slowly deteriorated and I cried myself to sleep every night while you remained in hospital for just over a month. I'm only glad that I was with you every single day when you were in hospital, bringing mum with me each time. I know that was a comfort to you. I only wish I could speak to you now Baz and we could talk about how Leeds are actually playing well for a change. Talking of Leeds, Ben and I went up there for five days last week. We went to see where mum went to school and where she grew up in Horsforth. We also, as you do, took in two Leeds games. Typical. Leeds had gone six games without conceding a goal at Elland Road, winning all six matches, then we turn up. Stood in the Revie Stand Ben and I watched Neil Warnock's Cardiff City beat us 2-0. We looked jaded. The next match though Leeds made up for it with a 2-1 win over Bristol City. In between the two games Baz, we took your ashes and scattered them on the grass bank opposite the West Stand (The John Charles Stand). I'd got permission from the club to be able to do that. So you've now got a permanent season ticket at Elland Road. Also in between the two matches Ben and I went to a book signing by a friend of mine James Brown at Waterstones, along with Bryn Law of Sky TV. James was signing his book 'Above Head Height' and he wants me to write a review of it when I've finished reading it. It's about 5-a-side football, which reminds me of when you stepped in a few times to play for my team at Two Riversmeet in Christchurch. You tried your best Baz and we had a good laugh. I'll leave it there for now and try and write some more soon. I love and miss you so much. Rest in peace brother x