Andrea Jayne Fury (14 Oct 1969 - 2 Mar 2016)

In loving memory of Andrea Jayne Fury who sadly passed away on 2nd March 2016
For those who will be attending the service please bring a single flower stem or if so desired, donations for Cancer Research UK may be sent by cheque made payable to the charity c/o John Weir Funeral Directors, 25, New Road, Chatham. Kent. ME4 4QJ or made on-line

I thought it would be nice to have the funeral service in writing for those who would like to read it or were not able to attend. Steve

I would like to offer you the warmest of welcomes as we unite in both love and friendship. We are here to say goodbye, but more importantly we are here to pay tribute and to give thanks for the life of Andrea Jayne Fury. On behalf of Andrea’s family I should like to thank you for being here today. Your support means so much at this time of grief and loss.

As we gather here today, to pay tribute to a loved one and a friend, let us hold in memory and cherish those moments that each of us share with Andrea. Let us join together in this service to lend comfort and solace to Andrea’s daughter Charlotte, her parents Jean and Roger, her brother Steven and his wife Deborah and their daughters, and to other members of her family. May it serve as an inspiration to all of us in the months and years ahead. We think with love today of Ella who never really knew her mum and who is not attending our service. Ella will get to know her mum through hearing the shared memories of the rest of Andrea’s family in the years to come.

Jean and Roger are deeply grateful to Steven and Deborah and especially to Charlotte’s cousins Connie, Bea and Tilly - for being such a wonderful support to Charlotte during such a difficult time – their love and friendship has meant so much.

Andrea passed away in the Medway Maritime Hospital on 2nd March at the age of only 46. It is openly known that Andrea suffered from alcoholism for many years, and tragically it was this illness which eventually led to her death. Her family & friends did all they could to help but despite all their love and support, as is so often the case with this cruel addiction, Andrea resisted all assistance and her condition and behaviour deteriorated to the point that her family lost contact with her during the final years of her life.

The last few years have been so difficult and heart breaking for Andrea’s family but today we are mainly going to focus on and celebrate the person Andrea was before her illness – a much-loved daughter, sister and mum – a creative, artistic woman who loved her family dearly. If we do this, then we refuse to let the illness win and we can reclaim Andrea from whom she became back to who she truly was! In many ways, Andrea was taken from you all many years before her actual passing but today is your chance to say farewell to the real Andrea and to celebrate her life and achievements.

Poem
To begin our service I should like to share with you a beautiful and very moving poem chosen for Andrea by her family. It’s entitled Remember Me by Anthony Dowson.

Speak of me as you have always done.
Remember the good times, laughter, and fun.

Share the happy memories we've made.
Do not let them wither or fade.

I'll be with you in the summer's sun
And when the winter's chill has come.

I'll be the voice that whispers in the breeze.
I'm peaceful now, put your mind at ease.

I've rested my eyes and gone to sleep,
But memories we've shared are yours to keep.

Although my last years were such a test,
remember me when I was at my best.

Although things may not be the same,
Don't be afraid to use my name.

Let your sorrow last for just a while.
Comfort each other and try to smile.

Such a beautiful choice of poem and so fitting – a reminder to you all to speak of Andrea often, to call to mind the happier times and over time, to smile again. To Charlotte, Ella, Jean, Roger, Steven, Deborah, Connie, Bea and Tilly and the rest of the family, I am sure that everyone here joins me in saying that we hope that you find the strength to face tomorrow in the knowledge of the love that surrounds you today.

Andrea: A Life Remembered With Love
As we have acknowledged, we are here this afternoon in order to bid a sad but loving farewell to Andrea. We are here also, so that in our own way we can celebrate, honour and pay tribute to her life, and in doing so express our love for her.
Memories become so very precious when we lose someone dear to us. They can provide such comfort and over time can help to ease some of our pain and grief and to smile again. There is no questioning that Andrea faced many hardships and challenges during the course of her life but she also experienced much happiness too. Let us hold onto and be comforted by this as we come to the point in the service when we shall reflect on and remember Andrea’s life.

Andrea Jayne was born on 14th October 1969 to parents Jean and Roger Fury. She was welcomed by an elder brother, Steven who was two when she was born. She was born in Leiston, Suffolk and the family home was situated just a couple of miles from the beach! This meant that Andrea and Steven spent much of their childhood on the beach and learned to swim in the sea – wonderful! The whole family would cycle to the seafront after school, spend time at the beach and then return home via the Sports and Social Club which was en route. Andrea and Steven were very close as children and enjoyed each other’s company. They both had their own homing pigeons, and would transport these to the beach in their bike bags and then release them so they would fly home!

Whilst living in Suffolk, the Fury family also had an allotment where they bred rabbits, and kept chickens. There is a lovely photograph of Andrea as a child holding some of the bunny rabbits. Two days after the photo was taken, as the family were sitting down to eat one of the said rabbits for dinner, Andrea announced that she ‘really liked this chicken’ – and no-one dared to put her straight!

The Fury children attended the local primary school until the family moved to Cliffe Woods, Kent in 1977. A subsequent move meant that Andrea finished junior school at Gordon Road School in Strood and then went on to attend the local Chapter Secondary School. Andrea was a very bright girl and enjoyed the social side to school. She greatly enjoyed a trip to Wimbledon in her mid-teens with some of Steven’s friends although apparently they had more fun queueing up than actually watching the tennis!

Although Andrea would help Steven with his homework, when it came to her own studies she rebelled and did not always achieve the grades of which she was truly capable. Like all students at that time she was allocated work experience. She had originally wanted to work at an infant school but in a twist of fate was sent to a florist’s instead. Andrea proved to be a natural at floristry and upon leaving school she went to work at Hills Florists where she was taught by Henry who trained all the Interflora florists in the South East.

Andrea married in 1993 but sadly this was not to last and she got divorced four years later. Sometime later she met and moved in with Simon. Although she and Simon parted ways in 2004, there was one wonderful outcome of their relationship – Andrea became a mum on 22 November 2000 to baby daughter Charlotte. Andrea loved motherhood and was so proud of her little girl. She set up a home for herself and Charlotte in Cliffe village and subsequently moved to Allington Drive in Strood to be nearer to her parents. This meant that Charlotte could spend more time with her Mama and Grandy – proud grandparents Jean and Roger. At this time, Andrea was a very hand’s on mum always organising fun activities and playing games with Charlotte.

Two of the pieces of music in our service today have been chosen by Charlotte in memory of the times that she and her mum would sing and dance at home, fun times for both of them. It was partly due to the support and encouragement that Andrea gave to her daughter that Charlotte passed her 11+ and now attends Rochester Girls Grammar School. Charlotte was Andrea’s world and she was so proud of her.

Sadly, Andrea’s illness had greatly increased when she met her next partner Phil. Tragically, she and Phil lost a baby daughter, Hannah, who was born six weeks early and passed away at Christmas 2008. This heartbreaking loss, and her illness, placed an immense strain on their relationship and she and Phil parted ways. By this time, however, unbeknownst to them both, Andrea was already pregnant again and baby Ella was born on New Year’s Day 2010.

Though Andrea received a great deal of support at this time, especially from her mum, her illness made family life untenable and two years later the girls went to live with their respective fathers. Gradually Andrea lost contact with her daughters and the rest of the family. They were informed at the start of this year that Andrea was in hospital, critical but stable, but then in March received the terrible news that Andrea had passed away.

My hope and prayer for all of you is that over time the memory of who Andrea was resurfaces and replaces the more recent memories and the heartache that they carry. Andrea loved you all and although her illness prevented her from showing her love or indeed from caring for her own children towards the end of her life, this love should never be forgotten. If we take one thought away from today let it be this. May we hold onto just how precious life is and how incredibly important family can be and may the love that holds you all together as an extended family today continue to support and uphold you through this time of loss and any future challenges life may present you with.
Reflection
And so now we reach the part of the service when it is time for us all to say goodbye to Andrea. This is the moment for each of us to pause and remember what Andrea meant to us, individually, and give thanks for the contribution she made to each of our lives. For those of you with a personal faith this is also an opportunity to offer up a silent prayer should you wish to do so.

During the reflection Andrea’s immediate family will be placing roses as their final act of remembrance and love.
During this time of reflection we shall listen to another song which Charlotte and Andrea used to listen to together and which has been chosen for this moment by Charlotte.
(Chasing Cars Snow Patrol)
(family place flowers)

Committal
Would those of you who are able to do so please now stand for the committal. (Curtains to stay open)
Andrea, your life we honour
your departure we have to accept
your memory we cherish
In heartfelt grief at your death
but in gratitude for your life
and for the privilege of sharing it with you
We commit your body to its natural end.
(Curtains to remain open)

May we all find comfort, and richness and example in your memories
may we smile as we recall you at your best, a happy daughter and sister, a loving and much-loved mum
may we find support in our love for one another
and may we all find your strength in our hearts.

And so Andrea,
Into the freedom of the wind and the sunshine
We let you go
Into the dance of the stars and the planets
We let you go
As we prepare to release your earthly remains
Into the beauty of the sky and every rainbow
As you return home.

Let us now bow our heads as we pray for Andrea

Go in peace, Andrea, let your spirit soar
Free from heartache, free from pain
At one with nature and the beauty of the world
May your light forever shine on those you loved so dearly
And may your love continue to warm and guide us as we travel on life’s journey
Always and forever
Amen.

Would you please all be seated.

Closing Words
And so now we reach the end of our service of farewell. We have remembered Andrea today in both grief and in joy and will always carry her in our hearts. Let us take with us our happier memories of Andrea as we leave this place, because it will be the memory of all that she was and all she brought into your lives which will allow her to remain within you.

Andrea would not want you to remember her with tears and sadness but with love and a smile at the happier memories of days gone by.

So now, having reflected on and given thanks for Andrea’s life, let us return to the outside world listening to the song Andrea chose to dance to on her wedding day, a day on which she was truly happy with her whole future ahead of her. Andrea, this is for you.

Thank you again for being here today to honour Andrea’s life.

Depart (Wonderful Tonight Eric Clapton)