Welcome Everybody
For those of you who here that I have never known or met, I am Mark Bridgeman and James younger brother. On behalf of all the Bridgeman family I want to welcome you all and thank you for coming here today to support us and pay your respects to a great man who still remains very much in all our hearts.
It is an honour and privilege for me to pay tribute today to a very special person, James Thomas Bridgeman and I thank Claire with all my heart for the love she has shown me in allowing me this special moment to talk about James her dad, and my big brother, Granddad, Husband, Uncle, Brother in Law and friend to so many special people whom he thought the world of.
Unfortunately due to age and poor health our parents Vera and Nik Nak can’t be with us today but they are safe with close family back in their home in Manchester.
James over the last two years has been a comfort and support to his mum and dad through some very difficult times, especially with dad’s decline in health. He was heavily devoted to them that I always felt that he was there with them at all times and they would be safe so long as he was around and I always knew he was there watching over them. He was a very respectful, loving and caring person and mum and dad are missing him so much.
Before I move on I want to share a little story with you all.
Claire and I spoke on Tuesday morning and we had a real good chat about her dad. I was telling her that Shirley and I had driven down to Peterborough on Sunday so that I could go and see her dad for a final time. I was feeling such waves of emotional grief before going into the chapel of rest but then I felt guilty because when I saw James the first thing that came into my head was that there was no tea towel over his shoulder and his glasses weren’t n the top of his head. Not enough that his tea towel was missing but his hair had been combed which I mentioned to the kind gentlemen in the chapel of rest. We both promptly and without a second thought ruffled James hair and at which point I saw my brother for who he really was to me. These little things about James demeanour brought laughter into mine and Claire’s voices and offered some relief.
No amount of time can ever heal the grief we feel but I know that as years pass us all by, we will learn to handle James loss, and we will be able to talk about the good times and fun moments he brought into all our lives.
James loved boats and sailing and I would like to read the following quote by Mark Twain followed on by one from James himself that he loved:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails and explore Dream and Discover.
And now from the great man himself...James Bridgeman
Introduce your child to sailing; they will never have enough money for Drugs & Booze.
James was remarkable in so many ways. He lived his life to the fullest and touched so many people during his time here with us, as evident by so many of you here today.
As I began to reach out for the right words to express my thoughts about James, I remembered the many valued and meaningful roles that he played throughout his life.
First and foremost I see him as the family man. He loved his family profoundly. He was a devoted husband / son / father /Brother/Brother in Law/ uncle / and friend to many. But having spent many hours talking to him I know without question that he was very much a family man.
I see James life as a book of adventures, with so many chapters that I want to recite from but it’s so difficult to describe them to you all at this moment in time.
If I don’t address individuals it’s purely down to the fact that we all loved James in our own special way and please rest assured that you are all included somewhere within these words that I about to attempt to read to you.
James took all of the roles in his life to heart and he strove to honour, support, and guide and most importantly, protect his family. He was at his happiest when he was surrounded by them. (In fact I can see him now in his kitchen with a tea towel over his shoulder, glasses on his head forcing raw chillies and olives down our throats) - Even during those inevitable tough times that life has a way of throwing at you. His devotion to his family was the foundation of his beliefs - the anchor that defined and shaped his life.
As I turn the next page of James life, I see James - the friend. And he was a good friend to so many, and in return you were all good friends to him! I know this because he spoke all the time of you all.
From the motorbike trips, camping expeditions and nights out at Manchester Poly that you all made. He could be counted on and depended on always. Whether you needed simple advice, an empathetic ear, a shoulder to lean on; companionable silence, a listener if you will; if all you wanted was to pass the time, a long walk companion or chat over the phone - he was your man; ready, steadfast, willing and always good fun.
As I look out at the faces in this church, I see many family members and friends and I know that you too will miss the friendship that James brought into your lives and I'm sure you all will remember him in your very own special way.
Continuing to turn the pages in James life, I see James a man defiant and unwilling to settle for less. He lived a principled life underpinned by a strong sense of right and wrong. He was a Caring, Often Stubborn, Intelligent (so he led us to believe), Logical and well travelled brother with friends and colleagues across the world.
James was a kind and sensitive soul who wanted his family to understand that nothing can be gained from holding a grudge or leaving any issue unresolved. He spoke out when it really counted; his strong principles did not allow him to let something wrong stand unchallenged. James cared enough to act and to follow his actions through. He never let anyone or anything stand in the way of making things right. We can only imagine how much more he could have accomplished in his life were we not to have lost him so suddenly.
Yet another page is turned and I see James as a respected member of the community. He shared his expertise with anyone who would listen, he worked hard and consistently and he remained a student of life, always wanting to learn new things. My brother never stopped learning especially through his loving family. He never sat back and became complacent. He led by example as he mentored Claire and his grandsons Reece and Oliver, along with his nephews, nieces and especially close family in a way that anyone of us can say, that he was an inspiration in our lives.
James was a business man who saw opportunity and made the most of it. One could say that James had the ‘Midas’ touch because he had a vision and his vision prompted him to act and create success. But James, by the same token, was not too proud that he would not turn to his family and friends. He knew that two or three heads were better than one when it came to business. He worked endlessly for success in order to provide a better life for Brenda and Claire.
James loved seeing Reece and Oliver his grandsons get involved in sports and activities that build character. He always told me how proud he was of Claire Scott and the boys.
James passing has made me very much aware of my own mortality and I want to say with all my heart thank you to my wife Shirley and my children Kyle Becky and Ellie who have been without question my pillar of strength throughout my life and even more so since James unexpected passing.
James and I did not always agree but one thing we never budged on was just how lucky we both have been to have such wonderful families in our lives. Truly we have been blessed.
James, it is very hard to say goodbye so we will just say so-long for now. The pages of your book will never be closed, just as the pages of our memories of you will never be closed either.
We will remember you through the many people still left behind, whose lives you touched so positively. You may not realize it, but you leave an amazing legacy behind, a beautiful and loving family. They are your legacy! Through them you leave this world a better place than when you found it and for that you can be very proud.
James, we will miss you, but we will always remember you with respect, admiration and love, always. The only true grace is that we told you we loved you when you were here with us, and you told us back that you “loved us loads”
Through this unimaginable darkness I can see, even now James glimmers of brightness at the end of the tunnel and these are a reflection of who you were and just how much you meant to us.
Beautiful and happy memories of a very special man indeed, and one who was loved by so many.
A Poem for James
I am free
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free,
I’m following the path God made for me
I took his hand I heard him call
Then turned, and bid farewell to all
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to sing, to play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found my peace… at close of play, And if my parting left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened… deep with sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow
My life’s been full I’ve savored much
Good friends, good times
A loved one’s touch
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don’t lengthen it now with your grief
Lift up your hearts and share with me,
God wants me now… He set me free
And finally as this chapter of James earthy book closes, I think James would like you to know that:
"There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.”
God bless James xxxxxxxxx
You’re Loving Brother
Mark
THE END
FOR NOW
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