Joan Margaret Lister (18 Dec 1948 - 15 Feb 2016)

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Funeral Director

Location
Skipton Crematorium Carleton Road Skipton BD23 3BT
Date
25th Feb 2016
Time
1.40pm
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Location
Rombalds Hotel West View, Wells Road Ilkley LS29 9JG
Date
25th Feb 2016
Time
2.30pm

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Obituary Joan Margaret Lister “ Words don’t come easy to me”. F R David 1982

We met where, ah! yes it was Filey Regatta week, she was sunbathing & I was looking for a crew to make my Firefly Dinghy go better. Did we win I don’t know, but she in time won my heart.
Joan ‘s early childhood is a mystery to me, but when we met she had won a scholarship and was formulating a career in polymer science. Encouraged by her Family's interest in paints which were moving into the world of plastics, Joan went south to London to a prestigious center of learning.
Not sure why but the attractions of London must have worn off because she came North & returned to live with her family and took a position at Fenner a world leader in reinforced polymer technology. And naturally we saw more of each other.

Married in 1971 at Bridlington Priory, Paul started the Family unit, closely followed by Karen, a busy time as two incomes had become the norm, how else do you pay the mortgage which at this time was in the teens.

Working must have paled and when the Man Power Commission offered educational packages at teacher training colleges for a new career in science & technology, Joan applied and a place in York became her new daytime retreat. Finding a teaching post in mainstream teaching became difficult, so Joan applied to join Ampleforth College, more prestige. However the hours hurt the family so Whitby Community College became the new challenge. Teaching was her forte and respect by staff & students alike provided Joan with the impetus to excel.

In 1992 Joan visited South America to take the walking trail to Machu Picchu, a trip of a lifetime for our 21st wedding anniversary, not sure how he did it but David produced the 21 red roses mid trip, and the roses have come along each year matching the years

Then in 2000 more adventure as the opportunity to start all over again in Montrose Colorado presented itself. A big step, children away from home, teaching which is really a vocation had become target orientated & a bureaucratic burden. Time to start again, retire & become a housewife with style. And play.

Colorado had its seasons, winter mountains with snow, summer mountains for exploring on ATV’s, plus social activities with wonderful people and her new found love, ladies Barber shop the Sweet Adeline’s. She was a natural Tenor and had the ability to pick up the harmony, which can be difficult when bases, baritones & leads are singing with other harmonizing notes. At this time Joan’s desire to build her “Award” winning home became a work in progress, designed to be environmentally perfect, it exceeded all expectations as well as being a wonderful home, along with Location, Location, Location. Cotton trees, bald eagles & the San Juan Mountains.

Then David struck yet again. This time to the Hurricane state of Florida, where we could watch rockets streaming into the heavens from our back yard. Joan took to the new environment and a home with a swimming pool and joyfully helming a 30 ft Sloop named Firefly with a new youthful vigor, however this time she had her Sweet Adeline’s singing to bring in new friends, which she did, opening up her heart & home.
Sometimes a little stern but always open & willing to assist, happy to chat & take part, more than capable of handling a sailboat and keeping that husband of hers in good order.

She will be sadly missed by Paul Karen her brother Tony, her nieces Sarah & Helen, along with all associated family.

Her loving husband David

Life is not necessarily disrespectful to our desires & expectations but circumstances can be a little cruel.

K wrote

Hi again, well it's all going a little crazy with the other 2, wish I could pour you a Merlot and bring out the cheese board and have one of our girly nights chatting about it all, one day soon hey, in the mean time I'm sure you're having lots of cuddles from your Mum and Dad, Soggy and no doubt Nikita is trying to butt in on the action ............. love you, K

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Karen Lister wrote

ouch, it still hurts so much Mum, there is such a void without you, our giggles, chats, I miss you so much you beautiful magical wonderful you xxxxxx

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Pat Brown wrote

I was so sad to hear of Joan's death. My most vivid memory of Joan is of her telling the story of the Macchu Picchu trek (with David's prompting and encouragement) at the Melbourne Yacht Club. This is a funny story, but it is also a story of determination and strength, told with humor and that wonderful smile. I am so sorry for your loss, David.

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Jacksons Funeral Services wrote

Joan Margaret Lister
18/12/1948-15/2/2016 Aged 67
Skipton Crematorium:Thursday 25th February 2016 at 1.40 p.m.
Funeral Celebrant: David Carson

Entrance Music : Vivaldi Four Seasons: Autumn and Winter


Opening Words:

When someone you love has died, the company of others is so very important. Just to be together matters enormously. It takes away some of the loneliness of pain and draws you together.

So today you are here with sorrow but also to celebrate, the life of Joan Margaret Lister…..Together

You have come here today to give thanks for knowing Joan and to express gratitude for the days and years shared with her. We are here to remember this unique person and recall the life that she lived. We will recall the joy, the love and the friendship that Joan gave and by remembering the best of her, you will cement the memory of her within your hearts and those memories will never ever leave you

Each human life is unique and that is why we grieve. Look through the whole world and there is no one like the one you have lost. But Joan still lives on in your memories and, though no longer a visible part of your lives, she will always remain a member in your family or of your circle of friends, through the influence she has had on you and the special part she has played in your lives.

Good afternoon my name is David Carson and it is my privilege to be leading today’s service which is a Celebration of Joan’s life. This service has been planned with much love, thought and care by David and I thank him for the courtesy and hospitality extended to me whilst planning and preparing this service.

Joan lived an eventful and happy life, so your sadness at this time is softened by gratitude for all that she was able to achieve and that your lives were intermingled with hers. When people die suddenly it comes as a shock to us all, leaving us stunned by events that have so unexpectedly taken over our lives. But be thankful that Joan did not suffer; neither will she know any of the indignity of old age nor have any lingering pain. Take consolation in knowing that she is now at peace

Joan passed away peacefully in her sleep at home in the early hours of Monday the 15th of February with her beloved David at her side..

The family would also like to thank everyone for the lovely cards they have received, for all the kind messages of sympathy and words of condolence, and last but not least, thanks to you all for your attendance here today. We acknowledge that some of you have travelled long distances to be here and in particular thank, Sarah for her contribution to the service and for her brother for accompanying her on the journey.

Any donations that you may care to give in memory of Joan will be gratefully received on behalf of the British Heart Foundation and the World Wildlife Fund and there is a donation box on the right as you leave this building.

Following this service you are all invited to return to Rombalds Hotel in Ilkley for refreshments and to share further memories of the many happy times you all spent with Joan
.




Song: Amazing Grace:

May I now invite Sarah Peterson, to sing Amazing Grace ‘a capella’. Sarah is the niece of Joan’s best friend from Florida, Deb, and her husband Ken, and they have asked Sarah to come and represent them here today and sing the hymn as their way of paying tribute to Joan.

Joan’s Story:
Joan was born in Bridlington on Saturday the 18th of December 1948, The second child of Teacher Wynn and Paint Industry Worker, Geoff Hardman, and a sister for Tony who is thankfully here today to say his farewells to Joan.

Educated at Bridlington Grammar School for Girls, Joan always had an interest in Science. Her qualifications gained her entrance to a prestigious centre of learning in London and she was the only girl studying the new science of polymers and rubber technology.

It was whilst at University that Joan and David met on Filey beach and the courtship started.

On graduating, the bright lights of London couldn’t keep her and Joan got a job with Fenners in Hull, a world leader in reinforced polymer technology and the move meant the young couple could see more of each other.

Joan and David were married at Bridlington priory in 1971, honeymooning in Scotland and initially setting up home at RAF Leaconfield and then soon moving to Malton and then to Pickering.

Paul James and then Karen Ann then eventually arrived to complete the family.

As the children were growing up, family holidays were always taken in the trusty VW Camper Van. Every holiday having the theme of travelling and following some of the many different rivers of Europe. The advantage of this type of holiday being that there was a different adventure around every corner and always an abundance of beautiful riverside campsites

Around this time, there was a shortage of Science Teachers and the Man Power Commission were offering educational packages at teacher training college for suitable people wishing to retrain.

Joan duly applied and she trained as a teacher at Ripon St Johns College of Further Education in York. Her first post was at the prestigious Ampleforth College but the hours and the travelling took its toll so a move was made to Whitby Community College.

Teaching here was her forte and the respect she received from the staff and pupils alike provided Joan with the impetus to excel.

She also enjoyed the twice daily drive across Fylingdales moor in her sporty Ford Probe, the beneficial journey breaking up the time between school time and family time.

In 1992 for their 21st Wedding Anniversary, Joan and David’s adventurous spirit was displayed by their three week journey exploring Peru, following the Inka Trail to Machu Picchu. Amazingly in deepest Peru, David managed to keep up his lifelong tradition of presenting Joan with the number of red roses equating to the number of years married.

However, in 2000, and in David’s words, not mine, her damned stupid husband changed everything with a job that meant a move to Montrose in Colorado. Joan didn’t really mind as teaching that should be a vocation had become target orientated and a beurocatic burden.

So it was time for Joan to retire, as under the terms of the visa, she wasn’t allowed to work. She became a housewife with style and embraced the change of continent and lifestyle by taking on new challenges and adventures.

Joan soon found a new love in ladies Barber Shop singing, joining a group called the Sweet Adeline’s. She was a natural tenor and her ability to pick up a harmony soon integrated her into the new social activities that the group offered.

She also learned to ski and along with David, spent many hours exploring the mountainous terrain by All-Terrain Vehicle, or Quad Bike as we know them. They were wonderful machines that could go almost anywhere in any conditions and many wonderful adventures were enjoyed.

Whilst in Colorado, Joan and David used their knowledge and skills to create an award winning environmentally attractive home using all the latest technologies and thought processes of the time.
Designing the home found Joan utilising and putting into practice all of her teachings and the state of the art building was built with only three changes and within the budget, a remarkable achievement in itself.

Then, again, David’s words, not mine! The damned stupid husband struck again. There are probably not two more contrasting states in the United States than the fresh mountainous Colorado, and the flat humid sunshine state of Florida, so his job took him and Joan ….. To Florida.

However, Joan again accepted and embraced the changes in her life. She soon joined another Sweet Adeline group, enjoyed the new home with the swimming pool in the garden, became an accomplished sailor, took up snorkelling and watched rockets take off whilst sitting in the garden.

And I will finish this lovely story by borrowing some of the words I have taken from Cameron’s letter to David.

Joan was a beautiful, delightful, funny, smart kind human being with a radiant smile and spirit. She was loved so much and our hearts are all heavy with sadness at her passing.

That sentence in itself is a wonderful tribute.

Joan, you loved, you were loved, you will be sadly missed but you will be happily remembered.

We will now stand and sing the hymn ‘The Day Thou Gavest Lord is Ended, the words of which are on the service sheet.

Hymn:The “ Day Thou Gavest Lord is Ended “

The day thou gavest, Lord, is ended,
the darkness falls at thy behest;
to thee our morning hymns ascended,
thy praise shall sanctify our rest.

We thank thee that thy Church, unsleeping
while earth rolls onward into light,
through all the world her watch is keeping
and rests not now by day nor night.

As o'er each continent and island
the dawn leads on another day,
the voice of prayer is never silent,
nor dies the strain of praise away.

The sun that bids us rest is waking
our brethren 'neath the western sky,
and hour by hour fresh lips are making
thy wondrous doings heard on high.

So be it, Lord; thy throne shall never,
like earth's proud empires, pass away;
thy kingdom stands, and grows for ever,
till all thy creatures own thy sway.

Reading: The 23rd Psalm

Our reading is the 23rd Psalm, the analogy being that in death, no-one is alone which I hope may bring you some comfort at this time.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.


The Lords Prayer & Committal:

And we now come to the part of the service where we say our final goodbyes to Joan, and commit her to her final rest.

Will you please remain seated and join me in saying the Lord’s Prayer:


Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory
For ever and ever.
Amen

This funeral service does three things: Firstly it shows the love, the affection, and the regard in which Joan was held. Secondly it gives time to remember her and celebrate the person she was, and thirdly, it enables each of you to say a final farewell.

Joan will be missed by David her much loved husband of over forty years and may the example of their love be inspiration to us all

Joan was much loved and will be sadly missed by her children, Paul and his wife Lyndsey and by Karen

Joan will be sadly missed but happily remembered by her brother Tony and Jane and by Joan’s nieces Sarah and Helen and their respective families.

And Joan will be missed by all of her friends both near and far.

Joan made a difference and she was loved and she will be missed

May I ask you to stand for the committal?

Be Thankful for the Life of Joan Margaret Lister
Be Thankful for the Love she gave
Be Thankful for her contribution to your life
It is now time to say farewell
It is with deep love
And with great sadness
That we commit the body of Joan
To be cremated
Commit to your hearts your gratitude for her life
And your own precious memories of her
And may those memories remain with you

Forever.

And may She Rest in Peace

Music: ‘Words Don’t Come Easy’

Closing words:

In whatever capacity you knew Joan you have left your daily routines today to acknowledge some of the thoughts and feelings that we have when we are saddened by death.

You all share in the sorrow of this occasion, each experiencing the emptiness, which comes from separation and acknowledging the gap that there will be in your lives

But sadness is not the only emotion. You have all been touched by Joan’s life, so remember her with kindness, with warmth, with fond memories, with love, with affection, and above all, with gratitude for knowing what she has brought to your lives.

And Joan’s ashes will be laid to rest in the Hardman family plot at Bridlington Priory and her name will be added to the family cross

Today you have remembered with love, a lady whose life on this earth has ended. Return to your own lives, enriched and inspired by the memories that we have shared, and memories that you will continue
To share in the future.

And may you find strength, and support, in your love for one another, and may you find peace, in your hearts

And may I finish by again using the words from Cameron.

One day when you least expect it you will look out of the window and see all the beautiful things that made her smile. You’ll feel her there and you’ll smile too. Let her light continue to shine through you by bringing more love and laughter and kindness into this world. She would want you to be happy and radiate the essence of her beautiful spirit.

Closing Music: Vivaldi: Four Seasons: Spring and Summer

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Paty Henry wrote

David and family,
Mike and I were very saddened to hear your news of Joan. We will miss her sweet smile and saucy humor at MYC.

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Ivan Shaw posted a picture
David & Joan nature reserve Melbourne Fl 2014

David & Joan nature reserve Melbourne Fl 2014

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David & Joan at home 2014

David & Joan at home 2014

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Peggy Snead wrote

A wise woman once told me that our beauty must come from the heart and shine in the eyes, and that is how I remember Joan's beauty. Her smile could light up a room. She was a blessing to the world.

Joan is now using that voice to join the angels, but for us she will be deeply missed for a long time to come. I am grateful to have known her and hold David and the family in my heart with the prayer that you all find strength now and in the times to come.

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Christine parker wrote

Keep up the research

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Jennifer Slayton posted a picture
Mermaid Regatta

Mermaid Regatta "Best New Captain" Great Captain! Jennifer

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Sheila Wilson wrote

I am still in shock that I will never hear Joan's voice again. In Sweet Adelines, we always say the tenors are singing with the angels. And, by the way, Joan absolutely adored that saying! But now she truly is singing with the angels (and making sure they stay on key). I will miss this dear friend. Love to David, Paul and Karen

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Always a smile on her face

Always a smile on her face

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Making sure Deb's hair was perfect

Making sure Deb's hair was perfect

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Jason Russell donated in memory of Joan
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Peggy Snead posted a picture
Joan at Melbourne Yacht Club's Orphan Thanksgiving dinner, 2013

Joan at Melbourne Yacht Club's Orphan Thanksgiving dinner, 2013

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Bruce McCarty wrote

Am deeply saddened by your loss David. You take care of yourself. Stay in touch...

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Kathy Jaeger wrote

Joan left her mark on this world, she was a fine and talented woman.
My thoughts are with you David, and your children.
Kathy

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pat and gabe denes wrote

such a shock. She will be missed by all especially for her friendly way and always smiling.

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Pauls wedding 2015

Pauls wedding 2015

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Julie Denwood wrote

Dear David Paul and family, we only met youreslf ( David ) and Joan at Paul's wedding ... We chatted you listened you chatted we listened with giggles inbetween. Very kind, warm, and lovely people.
Wayne and I send you our deepest sympathy
From Wayne and Julie ( friends of Paul & Lindsey and the Open Canoe Sailing Group )

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