Barbara Hay (22 Dec 1940 - 24 Feb 2025)

In loving memory of Barbara Hay who sadly passed away on 24th February 2025

Barbara was born on the 22nd Dec 1940, at home, 97 Trafford Road, Eccles, to proud parents Tom and Lily. Barbara believed she was born under a bed in a Work House due to a WW2 bomb dropping close by, though it appears this is more a figment of her vivid imagination or a story she just liked to tell!

Barbara enjoyed a very happy childhood, with older brother Ron, and went to Lewis Street Junior school, making life-long friends, some of which remain in contact to this day. Tom and Lily had a caravan at Acton Bridge, Warrington and regularly enjoyed spending time there with family and friends.

Barbara was quite a stubborn child, which often got her into trouble at school. When she told her parents she’d been told off at school, they would reprimand her and send her to bed early as punishment – however it appears she liked this as she loved reading books in bed!

Barbara would invite friends to her house while her parents were staying away at their caravan, and that’s were she met her husband to be, Derek in 1960. Not long after, Barbara and Derek were married on the 30th June 1962 at Eccles Parish Church.

Barbara held a number of jobs over the years, including a secretary at Exide Technologies in Bolton, a touch typist for Massey Ferguson at Trafford Park and at Salford Universtiy. She also worked in the accounts department at Salford Casino.

Barbara & Derek had 2 children, Loretta and 16 months later Graham, and was a caring and loving mother. She could be strict at times, teaching us to appreciate what we had, but ensured we had everything we needed. Loretta & Graham would be told off if they developed a spot on their face, and Barbara would make them scrub themselves with a bar of Imperial Leather soap at the slightest hint of a pimple forming! To this very day, Graham still scrubs his face morning and evening with Imperial Leather – mum knows best!

In 1975 (check date), the family moved from Manchester to Kent. This was a significant event in Barbara’s life as almost all of her family and friends were in Manchester. However she soon got involved in the local WI groups, and stood on the committee for Longfield Hill WI, looking after the fees and serving the Tea.

Barbara was quite upset when her children, Loretta & Graham, eventually moved out of the family home, but was very proud that they’d secured successful careers, with Loretta joining the Police Force and Graham working in Technology in London, and later when they were married to Ian and Liz. They were never far away and Barbara loved to help when they popped home with a bag of ironing!

Barbara loved roaming the local Kent countryside, going on long walks and often organizing walks for the WI Rambling Group. She would plan walks, ensuring they always ended up at a local village pub. Barbara was also a member of the local Lambara group, often serving tea at church. Despite loving to walk, and always being a rather nervous passenger in a car, she once tried to learn to drive, but after 8 lessons, she still refused to go exceed 20mph and 2nd gear, so was advised by the instructor that maybe driving wasn’t for her!

Barbara loved reading in her spare time, especially Catherine Cookson novels. Gardening was also a favorite activity and she was always proud of the huge displays of tulips and roses.

Most of all, Barbara loved a chat, usually over a cup or two of tea. She could talk the hind legs off a whole herd of donkeys!

Barbara loved to travel with the family, with holidays across Europe and further afield. Her favorite destination was Germany, with many coach trips enjoyed there. She was not much of a drinker, enjoying an occasional tipple of Cherry Brandy, Harvey Bristol Cream Sherry or a Baileys. However she once tried a local liquor whilst on holiday in Spain which went straight to her head, and she ended up wandering off with a group of total strangers, until the family realized she was missing and quickly fetched her back!

Barbara enjoyed cooking and baking cakes. She would buy fresh meat and veg from the market and prepare a great family meal. Graham & Loretta got used to seeing mum take a whole fish, head & tail it, gut it, fillet it, and pick out the bones. Bit gruesome to watch but they knew they were in for the best fish and chips meal.

No-one was allowed to visit home without being offered food. Barbara was insistent they must have something to eat whether they wanted it or not. Most visitors would leave with a freshly baked cake of something to take home.

Barbara was overjoyed when she became a Grandmother, with 4 grandchildren to see grow up, Charlotte, Catherine, James and Luke. She would often send photos of them to her friends and family in Manchester and was very proud that they all achieved University degrees, the first generation of the family to achieve this.

In her later years, Barbara developed dementia, but always enjoyed having all the family around her, never stopped chatting over a cup of tea, and still enjoyed jigging to her favorite Elvis songs and devouring a few cup cakes on her 84th Birthday party.

"MUM" by Loretta Sutherland:

Mum always called me Retta, short for Loretta. Or Gretta if I was in trouble. Mum was strict but a real softie underneath, she was caring, kind, a worrier but above all hilarious. Mum told me to always, stay fit, cook from scratch, always make the bed in the morning, always remove my make up at night and eat avocados. I've got so many fond memories of mum. As a child it was the lovely cakes, fruit pies and fresh bread rolls that she had baked ready for when I got home from school. She listened to me chat away about my day at school while giving me the best scratchy back ever. Mum was always there for me no matter what.

In my teenage years we would sometimes get up to mischief. We had a few weekends away without dad, we called it our ‘girly time’. Mum's gift of the gab rose again when she persuaded the coach driver on a trip to the Cotswolds to make a small ‘but not so small’ detour on the way home. It was so that we could be dropped off right at the end of our road. ‘Unbelievable’, but that was mum power.

I’ve got a Ruby ring; mumhas an emerald one somewhere. It still makes me chuckle when I look at it. It was a result of one of our many shopping trips to Bromley which we absolutely loved to do. A huge sale was on at the jewellers, how could we resist. We sat on the train all the way home making a plan about how to tell dad how much money we had ‘saved’ him. We loved a bargain. We decided our smiley happy faces would surely do the trick. Anyway, after the initial shock dad was fine with it but we didn't dare buy anything else for quite some time.

As you know mum could chat for England. I would ring her to say, ‘I'm on my way’. We would then end up chatting on the phone for at least an hour. I could have actually driven there in that time and be sat nattering to her on the settee having a cuppa, but that was just us and how we rock'n'rolled. Mum's dementia started to kick in which made these phone calls last much longer, I’m now glad that I gave mum that extra time even though it was tough listening to the same things over and over again.

When mum went into the nursing home I’d visit every week. We'd have ‘pamper time’ together. I'd give mum a nice manicure (she was always proud of her hands and nails) and a facial which she absolutely loved. It was like role reversal because this time I would be the one taking her new clothes, cakes and treats. We would chair dance together, usually to Elvis. Sometimes with a glass of Prosecco from the bar in the nursing home. Mum gradually lost her memory, and she is now my memory. Love you loads mum, and yes, I still eat avocados so don't worry.