Joan Scott (17 May 1944 - 19 Dec 2024)

In loving memory of Joan Scott who sadly passed away on 19th December 2024

Entry - “Amazing Grace” (Andre Rieu - instrumental)

Eulogy

Part 1 - The Early Years

Joan Marian Scott (my cousin Joan) was born on 17th May 1944 to Beatrice and Stanley Berry (my Auntie Beat and Uncle Stan). Joan’s birth certificate says that she was born at 82, Marshfield Road, Chippenham, which was initially a puzzle to me as neither of our families has ever owned property in that road. But (thinking back) we’re talking about the latter part of the war years, so I suspect that the local hospitals had already been repurposed…and this could well have been the residence of the midwife who delivered her.

For the first ten years of her life (I am told) Joan was, not only, doted on by her parents but also by her Auntie Ethel (my mum). Then along I came to share their attention. We were both only children to our respective parents.

Joan’s education was also a matter of intrigue to me, beginning with Fintragh School Calne, a tiny private school in two rooms part way down the High School (opposite the Post Office apparently). This was followed by St. Marys (or it may have been St. Margarets), Bath Road, Chippenham; and finally St. Josephs Convent School, Devizes (…and all of this despite the fact that Joan’s parents were from a free-church background, and were married - as, indeed would Joan and Roger in 1966 - in an Anglican Church).

If, so far, Joan’s background has been instructive to you, her working life is probably as well known to all of you as it is to me. On the 25th July 1960 (aged 16) she started at C. & T. Harris, where I suspect she would have remained for all of her working life, had it not been for the factory’s demise in 1982. Thereafter it was North Wiltshire District Council all the way.

It would tempting to think that Joan Berry met her future husband, Roger Scott, at Harris’, after all they both worked there…but I don’t think so. You see, way back in the early 1960’s I can remember being with my dad (Joan’s Uncle Cecil) and Joan’s dad (my uncle Stan) when we picked up Joan from the Youth Club, which operated (at that time) out of a hut on “The Rec.” in Calne. And who should be running the tuck shop at the Club…you’ve guessed it, one Roger Scott.

Music (and dance) have always been a big part of Joan’s life. You can’t believe how jealous I was that she had a record player that could play 45’s and she loved Cliff Richard (…and I loved the Shadows). So my first pick for musical reflection on Joan’s early years is “The Young Ones”.

“The Young Ones” Cliff Richard & The Shadows

Part 2 - The Middle Years

We probably hadn’t even reached 1970 before Joan’s dad took me to one side (in the back room at 36, The Pippin for those who remember) and said, in a serious tone, that if Joan ever came to me in the future and asked for help could he count on me to give it. Image that…I’m probably not even 16 years old and I hadn’t a clue what the implication of that question might be (…and probably neither did he).

Well I don’t think that I performed very well for the next twenty years or so, against my undertaking to my Uncle. I barely saw Joan and Roger. Of course they were always on the end of the phone. And Christmas and birthday cards were always exchanged. Joan was on my dad’s arm at my wedding to Lesley in 1980 and she was godparent to my eldest son, Nicholas.

But, in clearing Joan’s house, I can see that the fault was not all mine…..for these were the “party in Bournemouth years”. Countless concert and theatre programmes (often autographed) were discovered. Torville and Dean performances, “That’ll be The Day” concerts, Cliff Richard concerts and (worst of all) Shirley Bassey concerts (don’t worry folks, I have spared you that one for our next musical reflection).

On 23rd August 1983 Joan began working at North Wiltshire District Council and two years later, so did I. And in 1989 Joan effectively became my keeper (secretary, typist, call handler, diary manager). And this a situation that would endure for more than ten years.

And when, in 2003, I moved on from North Wiltshire District Council we had already began to put into place periodic social get-togethers, cemented even further when we both retired

And so - I hear you ask - was I ever called upon during this time to honour my undertaking to my Uncle?

Well no!

But at least I was now drawing her towards more serious music (albeit not jazz)….light opera to be precise, but perhaps that’s because its members were seriously dishy (her words not mine) “Il Divo”. And so it is to Il Divo that I will turn for my second musical reflection:

“Without You” (Dresden El Dia Que Te Fuiste) - Il Divo

Part 3 - The Difficult Years

It was probably in about 2011 when Roger was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Joan and Roger told us at one of our Friday lunches at The Lysley Arms. Even then, the early prognosis was that Roger could have many years ahead of him. But nobody bargained on Covid coming along in March 2020 and by May of that year (on his birthday actually) Joan had lost her husband of over fifty years.

Joan, too, had not enjoyed the best of health over the previous decade, having had a hip replacement. Of necessity this was also a time during which Roger had to be placed in short-term care.

And yet despite all of this…. Was I called upon to honour my undertaking to my Uncle? Oh no! At least now I knew from which side of my family I inherited my stubborn streak.

Lesley and I had, by now, been invited to be Joan and Roger’s Powers of Attorney and we were noticing how difficult they were finding it to cope. And, when Roger went into long-term care in Wootton Bassett, I took Joan to see him twice a week plus a Saturday shop in Tesco: all three of which required the obligatory coffee and two pieces of white toast in nearby cafes.

But we didn’t do this on our own. A big thank you is also due to Carol Harris (friend of over fifty years, and regular Wednesday visitor): and Nic and Mel next door (for all of those occasions - day and night - that you responded to the knocks on the party wall).

And after Roger’s passing Joan and I continued to meet up and go out every week right through to her own emergency respite care in May 2023, which turned into long-term care in September of that year.

I knew that dementia was taking a greater hold on Joan when she stopped her lifetime’s passion - shared with Carol - for reading (because she couldn’t remember the storyline from one day to the next or even one chapter to the next)): or her following of TV serials (like Vera): and, finally, that she didn’t even look forward to the “Strictly” season.

So, even though the request may never have been made or received in the way that my Uncle Stan had imagined it might have been one day, it has been nothing other than a joy to have acted as if it had.

After the committal you will hear again the music of Andre Rieu, another of Joans favourites.

And everybody is welcome (especially if you have a journey ahead of you) to come back to our house in Chippenham for light refreshments.

Committal

“Times to Say Goodbye” - Andre Rieu (instrumental)