Patrick Christopher Thomas Fox (5 Feb 1948 - 6 Dec 2024)

In loving memory of Patrick Christopher Thomas Fox who sadly passed away on 6th December 2024. Sadly I don't know much about Pat's early life as we were 'recycled', we met around 1997/8 and were friends before we became a couple. We shared many interests but were also opposites to. He was a gentleman and very 'old school' in many ways, he saw the world in black and white and it was a challenge to get him to recognise there are always grey areas in life sometimes I won sometimes not but I respected his principles as he did mine. Shortly after we met he started working at the British museum as part of the security team, a job he loved very much and the fact that he was willing to give that up for me as I was moving to the West Country for work was an incredible thing to do, we had been apart for about 8 months as one of those grey areas got in the way, but remained friends. When he learned that I was moving away he told me he loved me and was willing to give up his job,his flat and work on the grey area for me, it was pretty overwhelming, as many of you will know Pat was not a romantic or given to big gestures but he loved deeply. So we moved to Somerset, he got a job working for the Post Office in cash handling, he loved the fact that he was out and about driving around the west Country & Wales. Many of you may not know he was something of a hero, one day, when working alone in South Wales he came around a car which had run into a lamppost and was on fire the driver was unconscious and Pat was unable to to open the door so used his arm and brute force to break the window to get the driver out. He phoned me from hospital to say he was fine but had hurt his shoulder so his manager was bringing him home, I didn't know the full story until he arrived home that day. Unfortunately the driver did not survive which was very sad. Some while after starting with the Post Office Pat became the union rep, it was a role he enjoyed and excelled at, although it was the bane of my life as his phone never stopped ringing, daytime, nighttime, weekends,it drove me crazy but he took it very seriously and because of that he had the loyalty and affection of the men he worked with. In our off time he enjoyed visiting antique markets, Country fairs and various places on the Somerset coast, Kilve being one of his favourites which we often went to on the weekend when my sister and brother in law came for the weekend. Or we'd visit them in Hampshire and explore the South Coast, those weekends were some of our favourites, a bit boozy but with some fresh air and exercise thrown in.
We moved back to Kent in December of 2006 with Pat managing to get a transfer with the Post Office to Dartford and despite promising not to be the union rep there he succumbed to pressure and took it on, but realised after a while that there was not the unity there that there had been in Bristol so resigned the role. He did still love driving around the Kent countryside on his rounds often working a 'one man rout', it was while on one of these in2009 that he was involved in an accident on a retail park in Broadstairs where he sustained a severe concussion leaving him with amnesia which was quite severe. Although he knew me he had no memories of our life together, or where we lived, pretty much everything had gone, most of it came back over time but the were always patches that were lost forever. And despite numerous neurological assessments his short term memory was affected to the point that he could not recall the security processes necessary for his job so he was medically retired in March 2010 having worked part-time in the depot for a few months. In the November of 2009 the love of his life joined our home,Connie a springer spaniel she was an amazing dog and came to us at the right time, giving Pat a reason to get up and out everyday as having to stop working was really hard for him. She was a beautiful well trained 'Pat was amazingly good at that' so they spent hours walking around the local countryside. He joined a local shoot and would go 'beating' on a Saturday and often on Sundays we'd go off to the Kent coast with Connie. In the early hours of Christmas eve 2014 Pat had a severe heart attack and was blue lighted to William Harvey Hospital at 4.50am where he had 3 stents fitted. When they wheeled him our of the 'Cath lab' at 7.40 he was sitting up on the trolley, he smiled at me and said 'I feel terrific' and he came home on boxing day.
Although he was well again he never really got all his strength back, he and Connie still went for long walks but it turned out he'd often sit on a bench and fall asleep. Our garden was another shared joy both in Somerset and here and it has gone through a few incarnations over the years, and following his retirement his days were spent out there pottering about, he always wanted to fill every corner so I would have to be the voice of reason to keep it manageable. In 2018 Pat was in and out of hospital with sepsis and kidney stones for about 6-8months, one of which was very large and difficult to remove. When he came home for the last time he had lost a lot of weight and was looking quite frail. It took time to build him up again and eventually we were getting out and about often with Terry and Linda the neighbours were were blessed with after Brian died, but he spent far less time in the garden than before and it took me a while to realise that he didn't want to see it looking as messy as it was, it wasn't neglected but not as well tended. So we had it revamped, more patio areas,artificial grass and pots which are much easier to manage and it helped to get him to garden centres and nurseries he still wanted to fill it up. We would often spend an evening having a drink or two with Terry and Linda in the pergola Terry had built on the Bak of their house,Pat always admired it an said he enjoyed sitting ther so Terry offered to build us one too,he was the tradesman, I was the labourer and Pat was the foreman, so pointing out what would be better, it was a lovely summer and he enjoyed seeing it going up.
In June 2022 we lost Connie to cancer, Pat was devastated and I don't think he truly got over that and he was not terribly enthusiastic when I said I was looking for another dog but a small one it took Jim some time to warm to Lilly but I have some lovely photos of her cuddled up on his bed with him. Having the stroke on his birthday was devastating for both of us, but for a man like Pat I can't imagine how he felt as apart from telling me he didn't want me caring for him crippled, he kept his thoughts to himself, on the evening of the day he died he took my hand and said sorry I told him there was nothing to be sorry for its not the life we hoped for but that's what marriage is about and were out situations reversed he would do the same. I was so lucky to meet him and be loved by him and I'm not sure how ill go on, but I will because he'd tell me to