Pamela Basford (23 Apr 1940 - 6 Nov 2024)

In loving memory of Pamela Basford who sadly passed away on 6th November 2024

1940 – George 6th was king, and the news was dominated by events of World War II; food rationing was introduced and people were heading to the pictures to watch the latest films starring Arthur Askey and Tommy Trinder – although for Rosina and Stanley Carter, they were awaiting the arrival of 4th child – and on Tuesday the 23rd of April that year – St George’s Day, their beautiful daughter, Pamela Rosina, made her way into the world, which instantly became a happier place.

Pamela, or Pam as she would soon fondly become known, was the youngest of Rosina and Stanley’s four daughters – a sister to Edna, Gwendoline and Phyllis. Born in East Dulwich, Pam enjoyed a lovely childhood – her dad had a greengrocer shop and several fruit & veg stalls in North Cross Road, and friends even now, recall how Pam, as a young child, would walk her beautiful dolls pram up and down the road. Of course, it was a time when everyone looked out for each other, and with lots of extended family living nearby, and older sisters, there was always someone to play with.

Pam attended the local St Johns School in North Cross Road, and then onto Friern High School, where she met Barbara, Pauline and Iris, who all became life-long friends, along with Yvonne, who she met a little later.

When she left school, Pam worked in several secretarial & administrative roles, and she was always good with figures. In the evenings and weekends, Pam and her friends enjoyed going out to the local dance halls and pubs, although her dad was very strict and wouldn’t allow her to wear make-up – so Pam and her friend Barb, would put it on, using the shop windows on Lordship Lane as their mirror, before going in to Camberwell,
and it was one evening, when she was about 17 years old, that she was to meet John Basford. She was at a party with friends and they were let down with a lift home, so John kindly put them in a taxi and paid for it – and so Pam, several evenings later, went and found John in his local, The Perseverance in Camberwell, to thank him and offer him the money. Of course, he refused, but Pam did end up agreeing to go on a date with John,
although he was about to be signed up for National Service. Fortunately, he remained in England and so they were able to meet up at weekends, and of course wrote to each other regularly during their courtship. They naturally fell in love, going on to marry on the 16th September 1961 at St Peter’s Church in Dulwich – a big occasion with 8 bridesmaids and lots of family and friends joining them.

Pam’s friend Barbara told them of a flat that was available below hers on Peckham Rye, and so married life began there, with Pam decorating their home in bright, lovely colours, something that was very unusual in those days. Pam & John always had very fond memories of living there with Barbara & her husband Jimmy.

Pam and John were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Maxine, before the young family moved to Matham Grove, to live with Pam’s uncle for a while whilst they saved for a mortgage. They then bought a house in Hillcrest Road, Bromley – which became their forever home – and they were delighted when son Nick was born, and their family was complete.

When Max & Nick were younger, John and Pam worked hard to give them a safe, secure and loving home and childhood. Pam returned to work part-time, but always around the children’s needs – and the young family enjoyed lots of traditional caravan holidays, as well as trips to Butlins where they would be joined by lots of family and friends – always making so many happy memories, and of course, in later years, they went abroad, regularly to Tenerife where they had a time-share, and where they would visit family who lived there too.

Always a very friendly and outgoing lady, Pam loved to welcome Max & Nick’s friends – and there was always a spare dinner if anyone dropped in. She loved meeting up with school and work friends – and Pam was a lady who kept in touch with everyone. She never forgot a birthday or important celebration – and at Christmas, Max tells me, she’s never seen a person receive so many Christmas cards as their Mum, and it was usually Maxine who would accompany Pam on her annual trip to all the family graves to take a wreath, as Pam would say “no-one should be without flowers at Christmas”.

Naturally, socialising, eating out at nice restaurants and getting together for family events were always a joy for Pam, and she’d have an occasional Baileys, but usually a lemonade & lime – and although her sister-in-law, Carol – John’s sister – didn’t smoke, like Pam, she would always say “Come and have a fag with me Cal” during the evening.

And Pam was a lady who always took pride in her appearance, with her hair and nails immaculately done. Even travelling to the airport for a holiday, she’d wear a beautiful suit and full make-up – and of course, she always needed extra baggage allowance, because Pam was never one to travel light – with a full outfit for every day, including matching shoes and bag. Naturally, she enjoyed shopping and fashion, and she always appreciated and complimented others on their outfits too – being the gracious and kind lady she was.

Sadly, Pam was to lose her beloved John in 2003, but she bravely began a new chapter in her life. She became quite a jet-setter, joining family and friends on their holidays to places like Dubai and Las Vegas, and in everything they did. Maxine & Nick’s friends had always loved being around Pam, but now they took her under their wing as well, and she would be invited to all their gatherings and events too. Pam continued to see her work and school friends, although now, with families of their own, the ladies would bring along their own daughters, and they have become friends too. She took on a voluntary role at the local Sue Ryder charity shop, which gave Pam a new lease of life, and she loved sorting through all the labels, and always kept in touch with all the girls she worked with there.

Of course, Pam had always enjoyed music and in particular, Joe Longthorne, and she was fortunate to see him in concert several times – and you may have noticed, we were listening to one of his songs as we came into our service today.

She also enjoyed watching the tv, especially if there was a good old black & white film on, and reading – usually a Martina Cole novel which she loved. Pam also loved having a chat with family and friends on the phone, although as she struggled with deafness in later years, the conversations would become slightly challenging with Pam hearing completely different things to the actual conversation – with Max having to step in and help. She loved to keep up to date with family news, and as an aunt and Great-Aunt, Pam thought the world of all the children, never forgetting their birthdays or sending a little gift when a newborn arrived.

We know Pam enjoyed eating out in nice restaurants, and she had a fondness for an afternoon tea, especially with her sweet tooth and fondness for a cake or dessert – in fact she’d rather have a dessert than a main course. She loved a chat with a nice cup of coffee and a cigarette – and although she was a born worrier, Pam had the innate ability to actually listen to you. She was the first one people would go to, and she was always on your side, with never a bad word about anyone – and she would always send you away with a smile.

You will all know, Pam sadly faced health problems in later life, which slowed her down, but she just got on with things. Nick moved back into the family home in Hillcrest to make life easier for Pam, and along with Maxine, they oversaw and took her on her many hospital appointments and kept her spirits up, making her life as easy as possible. They continued to enjoy days out and holidays together, travelling to Portugal in May this year, and Pam enjoyed that trip so much, they returned in October.

A kind, gentle, loving and resilient lady – Pam was a devoted and loyal wife to her beloved husband John, with whom she is now reunited; an amazing mum to Maxine & Nick; and a much-loved sister, sister-in-law, aunt, great aunt and friend. Her passing on the 6th of November, at the age of 84 years, was sudden and unexpected, but she leaves us with a wonderful legacy – one of love and kindness for all her family and friends, and the knowledge that we were privileged to have shared her life, and she will be dearly missed by all.