David Shepherd (25 Jul 1935 - 8 Sep 2024)

Dave slipped away quietly in the early evening of September 8, 2024, with Pauline in an armchair by his side, not knowing that he was gone. No more pain, no more fear, and not having to face the next traumatic stage of his illness. Good on you Dave, you knew when to go. Rest in peace.

Dad
Our Dad was an Essex boy through and through, often referring to it as Gods Own County. He was born in July 1935 to Tom and Margaret Shepherd in Langdon Hills, moving soon after to Southend where he spent most of his formative years. The war intervened for a while and he was evacuated along with his Mum to Wales. He started school there but didn’t settle very well as he couldn’t understand the majority of lessons which were given in the Welsh language.
Once returning to England he went to Hamlet School where he spent the rest of his primary education until passing the eleven plus and winning a place at Southend High School for Boys. I’d like to say that his schooldays were the happiest of his life but unfortunately that wasn’t the case and he often used to tell us stories of being chased through the streets of Southchurch by his angry father who had found he was ‘bunking off’ for the day and had been hiding out at his best friends house!
He loved music and he learnt to play the clarinet which he performed in a local band. He could also sing very well and was often complimented on his great voice.
He spent his summer holidays working at the Kursaal – mainly on the water chute – he said it was great way to meet the girls!
Dad left school at 16 to join the Royal Navy and after initial training was stationed at HMS Collingwood where he learnt the art of electrical engineering. One of his first roles in the Navy was to be along the procession route for the funeral of George VI. He stayed in the Navy until around 1960, when he had reached the rank of Petty Officer and visited many ports including Gibraltar and Malta, both of which he didn’t like very much and didn’t enjoy visiting again. He narrowly escaped being sent to Suez during the crisis there in 1956 but was present in the North Sea in a minesweeper during the floods in 1953 which impacted on most of the east coast. Dad was asked to take the wheel that night as everyone else was seasick. He said he was afraid that the ship was going to keel over as it had listed so far. There were also many stories of the various escapades from shore leave which no doubt many of you will have heard. A lot aren’t suitable for this occasion but were very funny.
In 1956 Dad married our Mum who he met while stationed in Gosport. Karen came along in 1958, and moved with Mum to stay with Dads parents in Southend when he returned to his ship.
Once Dad left the Navy he started working for Rank Xerox using his skills as an electrical engineer. This precipitated a move to Stebbing where Jackie was born in 1961, closely followed by Steven in 1962.
Dad soon moved over to the sales side of Rank Xerox and this started a series of moves for the family as he was promoted within the company. Firstly to Bedfordshire, then Lancashire and finally back to Southend in late 1970 when Dad was appointed as National Sales Manager.
He stayed in the business machine industry for the next ten years, when following redundancy and the break-up of his marriage, he volunteered for the Samaritans. This awoke something in Dad and he enrolled with the Open University on a social science course. He obtained his degree and this changed his life as he then decided to specialise in Psychology and then Counselling. He met Pauline soon afterwards and their joint interest in this subject eventually lead to the setting up of Victoria Counselling. They married in 1989.
During this time the family expanded as Karen married Terry and Jackie married Steve, eventually giving Dad 7 grandchildren, Mia, Ben, Byron, Jo, Craig, Natalie and Holly. These grandchildren have now produced (at this time!) 19 great grandchildren. As Dad used to say they breed like rabbits- but he had good genes!
Victoria Counselling developed and became very successful and has impacted on many peoples lives as you will hear shortly. Dads reputation in the Counselling world grew and he was called upon to work with the Police and the Nursing profession among others.
He loved his work and it was only ill health in the last few years which made him stop doing what he loved.
He also loved going on Cruises with Pauline – and was able to go on his last one this year. Even going on a round the world cruise in 2008. They were some of his happiest times in the last few years when he was on a ship. Although as he often pointed out it wasn’t the same as being on a Naval frigate in a force 10! He has passed this love onto both of his daughters who share his love of cruising – a great legacy.
We shall miss him, our regular Sunday morning calls when we would put the world to rights and share who we thought would win Strictly- or I’m a Celebrity. Both programmes he loved to watch!
But he will be remembered – in the talents he has passed on to his grandchildren and great grand children and in all our memories.

My dearest husband Dave and my best friend little Dave.
I can’t believe you’re not here, that we are not sharing our lives, having fun, that I’m not feeling your warmth and love. What adventures we have had together, with Little David and Little Pauline learning to shine too.
During our early years together, we set up Victoria Counselling and Training Service, counselling clients and training counsellors, not realising that this would become our life’s work. Writing, delivering and teaching counselling courses together has been a joy and a highlight of my life. Your passion, especially for TA and Inner Child work, inspired me to find my passion too and I’ll always be grateful to you for that. Helping clients to heal and thrive was a beautiful experience for both of us too.
In your last weeks and months, as your health declined and as I took care of you day by day, you were the sweetest, loveliest guy, with your beautiful smile and loving eyes. It was an honour to be there alongside you.
Finally, you softly slipped away on your own terms. No more conversations, no more warm and loving company, no more happy times together.
Thank you for all the adventures, all the sharing, all the fun, all the learning and all the love. I will miss you forever.
With love, always.
Pauline and best friend Little Pauline

From Ky, valued colleague and dear friend:
Everyone in this room knew what a wonderful man Dave was.

I think I can speak on behalf of everyone in saying that he was inspirational, intelligent, professional, loving and so very, very kind.

One tribute to Dave said he was the father of counselling in Southend, which I think anyone in this field would completely agree.

But Dave also had a very cheeky, fun, childish way about him and for those of you in the know, that was Little Dave!!

To give you a bit of background, ‘Little Dave’ was the child in him, the child who liked to be free, have fun and be very, very cheeky. A child that through Dave’s own healing journey, he had learned to love and cherish his ‘inner child’.

Dave and Pauline taught hundreds, probably thousands of people how to find their ‘inner child’, how to rescue that child who had been hurt, lost, lonely and how to love them, cherish them and nurture them.

I think I can speak for any student or client who worked with Dave and Pauline in saying they provided an environment that was safe, loving and accepting, allowing every one of us to grow and most of all feel that we are enough.

I think I can also speak on behalf of every one of us who felt their love and kindness and the only way I can describe the experience, for me personally, is that they allowed me to heal a little piece of my heart that I didn’t even know was broken.

Dave and Pauline often used to talk about Little Dave and Little Pauline who used to have fun doing child-like things together.

I am sure many of you in this room will have witnessed Little Dave and Little Pauline’s child-like voices, having fun and loving each other. A very precious experience to watch.

I will always remember Dave telling us how Little Dave and Little Pauline would regularly go to Southend seafront and make sandcastles on the beach and have fun like they would have done as children. And if I remember rightly, this would always have been followed by an ice cream.

I share this story with you for two reasons. Firstly because it is a precious part of Dave and Pauline’s life, a life of love, laughter and acceptance. The love they had was irreplaceable and a love I witnessed right up to Dave’s last days.

Secondly, I share this because if there is any message Dave wanted to share it was never stop having fun, never stop being child-like and never stop loving that little person inside you.

I would like to invite everyone in this room, although I’m sure you have hundreds of wonderful memories of Dave that you will cherish forever, one thing I know he would love is please…..

Never stop making sandcastles and eating ice cream!

Thank you.

Dave loved this poem:

To a Child
The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.

Still young enough to be a part
Of Nature's great impulsive heart,
Born comrade of bird, beast, and tree
And unselfconscious as the bee—

And yet with lovely reason skilled
Each day new paradise to build;
Elate explorer of each sense,
Without dismay, without pretense!

In your unstained transparent eyes
There is no conscience, no surprise:
Life's queer conundrums you accept,
Your strange divinity still kept.

Being, that now absorbs you, all
Harmonious, unit, integral,
Will shred into perplexing bits,—
Oh, contradictions of the wits!

And Life, that sets all things in rhyme,
may make you poet, too, in time—
But there were days, O tender elf,
When you were Poetry itself!

Christopher Morley