Catherine Bernadette Laycock (Passed away 25 Nov 2015)

In loving memory of Catherine Bernadette Laycock who sadly passed away on 25th November 2015.

Cath was a strong woman, who was a battler to the very end, she leaves a lasting legacy and a positive memory to all who knew her.

As her son I would like to give a very personal eulogy to my late Mother. It is in essence a reminder to remember people as they were not as they are now.

Mum's Eulogy

I don’t know how most eulogies go, but for my tribute to my Mother I’d like to give you my personal perspective of the time we spent together this year.
I think it can be very easy to focus of the fact someone is no longer with us, we feel sad, upset, often depressed, but totally miss the point of what remembering and celebrating them and their life actually is.

I don’t want say the usual things about someone, what I wish for, is that each person has a positive memory to carry with you of Mum. I am sure she meant a lot of things to a lot of people, and we all will view them differently. This eulogy is my memories of her and perhaps more importantly for me, the memories of our time together.

She was diagnosed on 27th May and passed away 25th November. The time was short, far shorter than we all expected or wished for. But I want to tell you about this period and the relationship my Mother and I had.

I count myself very blessed, to have been able to spend these short months having quality time with her. I am proud and happy to say I was her confidant, counsellor, friend as well as being her son. We shared deep, open and honest conversations about everything. I was also incredibly proud of her for trying to understand the often new things I would talk about, from my time spent travelling in the military, to my years of personal development and my new period of life at University. It brought her great joy to listen and I enjoyed those moments.

I am very lucky to say she confided in me her deepest truths, fears, wishes, hopes, dreams, regrets, accomplishments and perhaps most importantly her happiest memories. During our talks I got her to write about her life. Although she never got chance to finish this writing, our time spent talking did get her to look back on her life and remember as much as she could, very much focusing on the good and positive times.

It was very therapeutic for her and for me too to be honest, and she often sat and told me interesting stories of her upbringing and memories of herself when she was younger, both as a child and as an adult. I am truly grateful to have spent that time listening to these. I also think this helped enormously both of us it coming to terms with and preparing for what ultimately was going to happen.

One of the things with talking on a deep and thoughtful level with someone, is how you really understand perfectly what their wishes were for herself once she passed, as well as her wishes for myself and all others.

I think it is important too to remember all the positive moments you spent together. I was very lucky to be given the chance to take my Mother to one of the places she had always wanted to visit, that being Paris.
We spent a week there earlier this year and I have such wonderful and happy memories of that time. She often said on that trip, she felt total and utter contentment.
I have warm and vivid memories of her sat on the hotel balcony, drinking tea and reading her books, relaxed, happy and at absolute peace with everything that was happening. She would just marvel at everything Paris was, from the architecture to the atmosphere. I will carry her emotions, feelings and joy of that time with me for the rest of my life. I am perhaps the luckiest of everyone in the fact that I got to witness this in person.

I remember our boat trip on the river Siene, I smile as I picture her sat in the golf buggy we used to explore the gardens of the Palace of Versailles, as well as her smile as we entered and walked through the hall of mirrors. She often said that she never thought she would get to see Paris or the sights, I am totally grateful that I was able to fulfil one of her greatest wishes before she passed.

I also remember the many afternoons we spent doing lunch and latteing in Leeds. I discovered more café’s and restaurants in this time than I had for years before. I always tried to find somewhere different for us when we met for lunch. She enjoyed these lunch meetings, again we got chance to talk, and I could listen to her and her thoughts as well as advise her on things. Although I knew I couldn’t cure her, I understood the importance of making her time with me as normal, fun and happy as possible. I tried to talk without worry, I tried to make her laugh and I worked on her letting go of things that ultimately were of no significance or importance. Although I didn’t fully achieve all of these goals, I do believe I helped her come to terms with much and to let go of a lot. Again this is a positive memory of our time, and something I will take with me for my remaining years.

I could go on and on regaling stories like these, but what I really want to say is this. To remember her properly and to remember her as she deserves to be remembered, I hope everyone can find a positive happy story of their own about the times they spent in her presence. It is important to have these and to hold on to them and celebrate her life not her death, it is what she would have wanted.
I am perhaps the luckiest of everyone here today, I am lucky in the fact I get to see my mother every single day when I look in the mirror. I see her face, her personality, her strengths and her influence. That makes me blessed and the luckiest of us all.

So thank you, I hope you can take away these words and remember some good moments you had with her. Good bye chuck and we will always have Paris.