To my darling Paul: You will forever be my always... RIP my darling.
Standing at your grave one year after you left me, my heart bleeds...and I will never be whole again. Forever yours, your darling George xx
Today, I found myself in Felixstowe, a place that holds so much for Paul and me. We used to cherish every moment here, and I had planned to visit our beloved little café. But, it was closed, leaving me a little sad.
As I sat with a coffee, the sea stretched out before me, a reminder of the endless love I have for you. The ache in my heart is constant, a deep yearning to hear your voice, see your radiant smile, and feel the warmth of your embrace. These memories are treasures I hold close, yet they also bring a profound sense of loss.
You were a beacon of light, a source of joy wherever you went. Everyone who crossed your path was touched by your beauty and kindness. The world mourned the loss of a truly remarkable soul one year ago, but I find comfort in knowing you are now one of God’s most cherished angels. Even in dreams, you visit me, reassuring me that you are okay and safe in His embrace.
I am filled with sorrow for not being able to save you that night. Please know I did everything within my power.
Paul, the love of my life, I adore you with all my heart. You will forever be one of my most precious memories, a testament to the love we shared.
Te Iubesc ❤️❤️
RIP my darling Paul. Forever yours. Your George xx
How can I ever stop thinking of someone who give me so much to remember. I miss you so much my darling. Xx
Always and forever in my thoughts and in my heart. Xx
My darling Paul,amid so many doubts and uncertainties that used to surround us, the certainty of our love for one another always stood out...and it will always be standing still.No matter where you were I was always one of your main priorities. Xx
Strength...strength... strength...I say to myself in times of anger,in times of pain,in times of weaknesses...as the nights fall down like they do,as I lay awake beside my body,with only memories sleeping next to my body. I miss you so much my darling xx
What a beautiful concept and how truthful it is also. Of the 8 billion smiles in our world,only yours had captured my eyes,conquered my heart and poured life and sunshine to my days.It was the most beautiful way to love you my darling.I miss you so much.x
Yesterday was a hard day...and I missed you. Today has been going ok so far, but I miss you. I don't yet know what tomorrow will bring, but I know for sure I shall be missing you still. Xx
This morning the skies were tinged with crimson reds and purples, in the air there was a nostalgic feeling...
whiles all along
simultaneously...
I could hear a prolonged and desperate creaking cry, of an airborne seagull that lives grieving a lost passion, anxiously lamenting a lost companion, which no longer flies by its side.
My darling Paul you will forever be a light inside my heart and I will love you forever. xx
My darling...today I felt I was being wrapped up around your arms all day. It still has got your smell. I miss you darling. Xx
My darling Paul, the son I've never had, the brother I've longed to have, my ex-lover, my best friend, my soul mate, my everything. Xx
My darling Paul, always you will be mine and I will be yours. Xx
I still cant believe you’re no longer here with us , with me. I miss you so much and i hope your the happiest man in heaven as you deserve to be happy. I love you so so much ♥️♥️♥️💋
Always in my heart! Always my one true love! It doesn’t seem possible that half a year has gone by without you. I love you Paul! ❤️
happy father’s day my angel!! i hope your having the most amazing day up there because you deserve it.you were the best dad ever and i couldn’t ask for a better one then you, thank you for always being there for me when u needed you.iloveyou♥️
Someone once asked me: "How much can a friend be worth?" Ireplied:I have no idea,the ones I have,they have no price,they are priceless to me.Some they need me,others I need them and one very special one we were looking for each other
I didn't wanted you to go, but baby we both know
It was time to say goodbye, but this is not the end until we meet again. Xx
May I always continue to remember you with great affection and fondness. May these shores always be "You and I". Gazing into the infinity where the sky touches the sea, there we are the two of us, seated at the arch of the horizon. Xx
It's feelings... It's emotions...It's your light that is renewed, with each shining star. xx
One of our favourite spots. I could feel a gentle breeze caressing my face, I think it was you... letting me know that I wasn't alone. Xx
Aahhh...my darling, you who used to say : " Deny me everything, even the food that I eat, but never deny me your devotion, your love and friendship." How could I my darling, how could I...? Xx
Aahhh...my darling I miss simple little things like this...sweet gestures made from afar or near every morning. A song sent by you that encapsulated our devoted and loyal history. I miss you every morning my darling. Xx
In insisting on keeping things, which remind me of you...it will be almost admitting that I could perhaps forget you one day. That will never happen, how could I ever forget you, forget us..? Never sweetheart, never. Xx
Today is the 13th May, your birthday! Today you would have been 49 years young. Your body has left this earth but your soul still lives on in all that loved you. Happy Heavenly Birthday Paul. I love you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ever since your departure, time...and time again, our story keeps replaying in slow motion. From the very first day we've met to the very last video call we had together on the night you've fallen asleep.You have fallen as an warrior,you rosen as an angel
See you later...
Today is exactly one week since your body been laid to rest.
I'm sure that you were looking down and you must have felt so very proud for the dignified and respectful service they organized for you.
They did you proud!
The only certainty in our lives...Is death!
There is no rights or wrongs, no reasons or answers.
There is no point in trying to understand what we are unable to explain,
it was a story that ended externally without our agreement.
That's not how we planned our lives, but life doesn't allow us rehearsals. There is no lightning before thunder.
But I love everything that was, everything that no longer is, the pain that still hurts, and our loyalty and bond to one another, and our faith we shared between the two of us too...
Our beautiful story... it was witnessed from every hello's and every farewell's by platforms in train stations, there they are our two hearts, still beating together as one.
Saying goodbye to you, is saying goodbye to myself, and I know you wouldn't want that, because you never liked goodbyes, you always preferred see you later...
The platform of this station where I find myself continues to be life, a life that will be lived with you inside my heart always and forever more...
In reflection my darling, how lucky we both were, to have had something so beautiful and pure between the two of us, that used to make or "goodbyes" always so hard to bare.
How do I say goodbye to someone I have never imagined myself without?
So I don't say goodbye. I do not say nothing. I'm just going...for a moment. xx
See you later...
Today is exactly one week since your body been laid to rest.
I'm sure that you were looking down and you must have felt so very proud for the dignified and respectful service they organized for you.
They did you proud!
The only certainty in our lives...Is death!
There is no rights or wrongs, no reasons or answers.
There is no point in trying to understand what we are unable to explain,
it was a story that ended externally without our agreement.
That's not how we planned our lives, but life doesn't allow us rehearsals. There is no lightning before thunder.
But I love everything that was, everything that no longer is, the pain that still hurts, and our loyalty and bond to one another, and our faith we shared between the two of us too...
Our beautiful story... it was witnessed from every hello's and every farewell's by platforms in train stations, there they are our two hearts, still beating together as one.
Saying goodbye to you, is saying goodbye to myself, and I know you wouldn't want that, because you never liked goodbyes, you always preferred see you later...
The platform of this station where I find myself continues to be life, a life that will be lived with you inside my heart always and forever more...
In reflection my darling, how lucky we both were, to have had something so beautiful and pure between the two of us, that used to make or "goodbyes" always so hard to bare.
How do I say goodbye to someone I have never imagined myself without?
So I don't say goodbye. I do not say nothing. I'm just going...for a moment. xx
My soul mate my Romanian Prince. Forever yours always.xx
"BRING HIM HOME
God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there,
He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.
He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on...
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home."
Your body might be resting here but your spirit and your heart will be going home with me. Where you were the most happy, where you were free.Where you got to know the nicer side of (GLBT) community. Where there are no "wolves" to control you. Where everybody loved you and had the upmost respect for you.
You going home with me my darling. Xx
EULOGY
to my beloved Paul.
Today; I woke up in anger.
Today; markes ten years when we first met.
No, no, I definitely don't like this world without you in it.
I've been robbed of you, I've been robbed of your presence in my life.
There is an uncomfortable space between what I feel and what I can say in here.
My anger speaks for me when my words I cannot utter. There's a deluge of mixed emotions within me...
It’s so bitterly painful…
When someone you know so well...all of a sudden becomes someone you once knew. Someone who you cherished so much, you loved, respected and admired, laughed and cried with...
Leaving me only with traces of reminders... all jumbled up, without any order, all competing with one another, and then there is silence, there is absence, and a black void, all within the same frame, all at the same time.
It's all so overwhelmeing, so difficult to register, and so hard to accept, that over my soul gets extended a lugubrious shadow almost capable of damaging everything, It digs an abyss of ruins.
Our motto:
"YOU NEVER HAVE TO ASK ME TO BE YOURS...
I ALWAYS WAS...
I ALWAYS WILL BE...
WE BOTH KNOW IT."
Rest in peace my darling, the "wolves" can no longer hurt you!
You are a child of God and you are now in the House of God, and no one will be throwing you out on the street, you are save and protected. xx
It's so painful and so hard to bear when one heart alone is suffering for two.xx
Rest in peace & fly high & no longer in pain & taken far too young🙏❤️🌈😩💔🖤🙏
❤️❤️
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